“Mmmm. I like the way that sounds. Now if I could get a little smile to go with it.” She gave him a little smile. “That was puny. Try again.”
Her smile was fuller this time, if a bit helpless. She opened her eyes to look up at him. He was so sweet. So gentle. Lord, she loved him.
Her smile faded. Unconsciously, she drew her legs up a little tighter.
Jared was attuned to her every move. “You’re not feeling well. Is it your stomach?”
“I’m okay.”
He persisted. “Is it your stomach?”
“I have cramps.”
“From something you ate?”
She shook her head and closed her eyes again. “I got my period this afternoon.”
Of all the possibilities, that had been furthest from his mind. But now he relived the conversation they’d had right after they’d made love for the very first time. She had been more than prepared to have his baby. They had argued about the merits of single parenthood. He had told her he wanted to be involved.
But there wasn’t any baby. He felt a sudden and unexpected twinge of sadness. “Ahhhh, Savannah,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just cramps.”
“It’s more than that.”
She looked up at him, startled to see his expression. “It’s probably just as well,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably. “I have a life, you have a life, we barely know each other.”
“I love you.”
Her eyes widened a fraction. Seconds later, she gave a quick shake of her head. “You don’t know me well enough.”
It didn’t make sense any more to Jared than it did to her, still he felt it, and it was worth repeating. “I do love you.”
Her heart was thudding. “But I’m wrong for you. I have a career, like Elise. I can’t give you what you want.”
“You would have given me a baby. That’s part of what I want.”
She thought about the baby that wasn’t, closed her eyes, and murmured, “I don’t know why I’ve thought so much about it lately. I’m not that old. I could have babies for the next ten years.” While that was true, it didn’t make her feel better. She burrowed more deeply into the cushions.
Jared lightly stroked the underside of her jaw. “Can I get you anything? Aspirin? Tea?”
She shook her head.
“It could happen next month, or the next,” he told her softly. “I don’t have any intention of using birth control.”
“Maybe we should. Maybe there’s a message in this. Maybe I’m not meant to be pregnant right now.”
“There’s no message. But it’s only been two weeks. Some couples work at it for years.” When she didn’t respond to that, he put a hand on her stomach and moved it in a light, circular motion. “Can I hold you?”
“You are.”
“Hold you in my arms.”
She shrugged.
He wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but it hadn’t been a no, and he needed to hold her. Slipping his arms under her as he came to his feet, he turned, sat down, and settled her so that she was resting against him with her knees comfortably bent.
“Okay?”
