Chapter thirty-five
The sway of the Indomnitus is nothing to the sway in my chest as Niko finally takes me in his arms. He lifts me up, winding my legs around his waist, as I attempt to claw my way closer. Each delicious brush of his mouth, each deft caress of his fingers, a reminder of what it means to be full. I have been living a half-life without him, a wraith of misery and emptiness. Only now, with his death and his hands and his words, do I feel the edges of my true self.
Without shame. Without regret.
Pan said no one could love my shameful parts, and because I couldn’t accept them myself, I took his word as truth. But Niko—Niko has shown me there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I am filled with despair and hope; darkness and light; creation and ruin. And because he loves it all, it is easier to love it myself.
Without breaking our kiss, Niko carries me toward his bed, dropping me on the mattress. To my disappointment, he doesn’t join me. He only shoots me a sinful grin and twists his finger in the air, motioning for me to turn over.
A thrill of curiosity and heat sparks through me, even as I raise a brow in challenge. “You’re not my king anymore. I don’t think you get to tell me what to do.”
Delight flickers over his expression, that arrogant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He leans over me, his scent of ice and sandalwood dizzying in its headiness. “I need no kingdom to be your king.” A ribbon slides lightly across my throat. “And if my memory serves, you greatly enjoy being on your knees before me.”
My thighs squeeze together at his words. He smirks in victory as I do as he asks, and flip onto my stomach. The silk sheets are luxurious against my skin, slippery and warm, but it is nothing to the bliss of Niko beside me. His body curls against mine like we were made to fit together, the heat of his skin warring with the icy touch of his magic.
My own magic rises at the contact, and I breathe a soft sigh of relief. For when I dip into it, it shimmers once more with infinite colors—a pool of possibility waiting to be painted, unhindered by shame or fear.
Niko kisses the juncture of my throat, sliding his body down mine until he’s kneeling on the mattress beside my feet. Every piece of me he touches burns at the absence of him, demanding more.
His eyes rove over me, worshipping and obsessive, and I want to preen beneath that dark gaze.
“Shall I grovel at your feet, Darling? Or would you prefer I beg on my knees?”
Anticipation curls at the base of my spine at his wicked tone, but before I can reply, Niko takes one of my feet between his hands and digs his thumbs into the arch. Surprise and pleasure spill through me in equal measure, as he massages them deeply, giving care to each muscle that carries me through the day. I hadn’t realized the ache of them until Niko soothes it away—the ache ofeverything—and ridiculous tears spring to my eyes that he somehow knows every place harmed by the burden I’ve carried alone.
When he’s finished, he traces each place his fingers touched with his lips, laying delicate kisses along the arch and up the delicate bones of my ankle. A squeak of pleasure escapes me as he devotes the same tender care to my other foot, before working his hands and mouth up the muscles of my calves. I unfurl beneath his touch like a flower in bloom, my body coming alive beneath his attention.
It feels decadent, sinful. It has been so long since I’ve felt anything pleasurable, suddenly, it is too much. Too much of something beautiful. Too much of something I don’t deserve.
Niko shouldn’t be the one making me feel good, when I’m the reason he’s returned to a life of immeasurable pain.
“Niko—”
As always, he sees me before I see myself. Planting a firm palm on the small of my back before I can wriggle from his grasp, he lets out a low chuckle. “Do you really think I’d let you escape so soon after I got you back?”
“It isn’t…I don’t want to escape. I—” Shame colors my cheeks as I struggle to name the whirlwind of emotion clogging my throat. “I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you…to come back to a place where everything always hurts. And I…I want to makeyoufeel good for once.”
I try to squirm out of his reach, but his ribbons are faster. They lace up my arms, and bind them to the bed.
“Niko,” I growl in frustration. “You don’t have to—I can—"
“Please, Willa. Indulge me.”
A plea on the lips of anyone is a significant thing; a plea on the lips of the Carrion King, who begs for nothing, is the harrowing divine. How can such a simple sentence feel like the most sacred of oaths?
“I am a disciple starved. Allow me to drink in everything I’ve been denied. Everything I’ve spent the past year dreaming about, but unable to touch.”
“But—” I bite my lip. His eyes track the movement with a predatorial intent far darker than the earnest sincerity in his voice. “You’ve only—I mean,I’veonly…since you came back…”
My cheeks heat as the corner of his mouth draws into a devilish grin. Two more ribbons slide down to my ankles, and with a roguish tilt of his head, he draws all of them tighter until I can no longer move anything beyond the turn of my head.
Locking his gaze on mine, he leans down to run his mouth over the curve of my thigh, his fingers trailing the same path. “You know well the selfishness of death, Darling. So, trust me when I say…this isn’t for you.”
Before I can protest any further, a ribbon slides over my mouth. Niko lets out a wild laugh, the sound shivering over my bare skin along with the cold of his death. Arousal tightens at my core, as I allow myself to lean into the submission. For so long, I have held everything alone. So just as I gave him my darkness, I give him reign over my pleasure. Relief threads through me, as he caresses his fingers along the juncture of my thigh and ass.
I nearly come out of my skin when his tongue follows. It is not so much where Niko touches that has wanton heat spiraling furiously through my limbs—it is that no one else ever has. There is an intimacy in the untouched places; a thrill I’ve never had with anyone but him in my two centuries alive. Because with Niko, it isn’t just the forgotten parts of my body; it is those in my heart and soul.
