Niko’s ribbons flare around him at the mention of the Aeternalis.
My eyes widen. “And magic…magic is borne of the heart.”
Events of the past begin to reorder themselves in my memories—how the Aeternalis never seemed satiated, always seeking more pain, more suffering. Always seekingmore.
Niko nods. “Peter created something he could never sustain. Not by himself. It is why he needed the dreams of the children. Why he needed their inherent magic. And even then, it was not enough.”
All of Niko’s actions since his return suddenly become crystal clear.
“And now, the island is siphoning from Willa’s magic. That’s why you’ve been trying to steal the island back from her.” I shake my head, setting him with a hot glare. “Damn it, Niko…that’swhy you slit her throat? To see if you could draw her close enough to death to break her connection to the island?”
Niko works his jaw, but he doesn’t deny the accusation.
An impatient sigh whistles through my nose as I pinch the bridge between my thumb and forefinger. “Is there a reason you chose to attack the woman you love, rather than just telling her the truth andaskingfor the island back?” I shoot him a warning look. “And I swear to the star above, if it was only because of your penchant for dramatics, I will shoot you myself.”
Niko’s ribbons don’t even bother to rise to the threat.
“The shadow does not like being spoken of. Every time I have tried to warn her, it threatens her. It slithers around her throat and squeezes. It dives beneath her skin and explodes from her eyes. I didn’t…” His words drift off as he rubs his temples gingerly. “I didn’t want to risk hurting her any more than I already have.”
He pulls his death from the air to wrap around his waist, and as a fresh wave of pain washes between us, I wonder if he’s punishing himself with it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he says hoarsely. “I’ve failed. There’s no way to take the island back from her. And now I’m cursed to bear witness as every sacred thing in her turns to dust.”
He grabs at the rum, but I shimmy it out of his reach.
“You gave up the island. It stands to reason she can too.”
Niko waves me off irritably. “Its hooks are embedded too deeply, Sam. My connection to the island was surface level. There was nothing to siphon from death. But Willa…” He swallows audibly. “Willa is so full.”
Despair fills the air—pale blue, like the ice of a glacier. This time, I don’t reach for my magic to assuage it. I simply tell my best friend the truth.
“With respect, sir…My captain does not give up when the seas are rough.” His black eyes snap to mine. “He does not give up when things are messy, nor when they’re painful. He leads us fearlessly through the eye of the storm to calm seas.”
“Sam—”
He falls silent at the shake of my head. “It’s okay to take a breath, but a breath is all you get. Do you understand me?”
Niko watches me sullenly. “I’ve given all the breaths I have, and it’s never once been enough.”
“Maybe that’s the problem. You and Willa have both been giving things up your entire existence. Pieces here and pieces there, constantly tithing to a universe that takes everything and gives nothing back. How are you ever going to be at your full strength when you’re always half a person?”
He goes so still, I swear, he’s stopped breathing.
“When are you full, Niko? When are you at your strongest?”
A long moment passes between us, before he straightens, his gaze suddenly far sharper. “With her.” The reply is so soft, it is hardly words. But they don’t need to be as we both know them in the way we know each other. Niko’s heart is more familiar to me than my own. Cruel, jagged, loyal, beautiful.
His voice is agonized. “Only ever with her.”
“Maybe that’s what you need to start with.”
He scoffs, swiping the bottle deftly from the table. “I’m pretty sure seducing her and then orchestrating her attempted murder thoroughly destroyed any chance of that.”
“Youseducedher first? Have you any sense at all?!” I blurt out, before shaking my head and raising my hands in exasperation. “You know what, nevermind. I don’t think I want to know.”
“Even if I hadn’t, I would have ruined it somehow.” He stares down at the rum without taking another swig. “I am death, Sam…and death is the eventual ruin of everything worth having. It is always an end. Never a beginning.”
I rise to my feet. “You may not have a shadow of the island’s making, but you are being strangled by shame just the same. Life is only sweet because of death. That isn’t ruin. That is the beauty of existence itself. It’s time you remember that.”
