“Iwantyou, Willa. I will want you for an eternity no matter your depravity or selfishness. I will never give you up.”
I stare at him, his words eliciting an agony so raw, it exists in the marrow of my bones. The knowing glint in his eyes, the echo of my own words back to me, make it clear—Pan knows something of Niko and I.
How much has he learned? Does the Aeternalis realize how desperately I loved Niko, and still, he chose to leave me alone? Does he know how viciously Niko loved me, and still, I’d sent him away?
And how, when Pan has only just returned to the island, does he know any of it?
His mouth curves in a gloating smile as he watches the thoughts race across my face; thoughts I shouldn’t be allowing him to see, because they are weak. But the devastation is too raw, too untamed, to hide as I read the cruel victory lining the Aeternalis’ expression and understand how he knows the story.
He’sseenNiko since I sent him away.
The whole time I’ve been here learning to rule the island, the Aeternalis must have been on the mainland. The blood in my veins grow cold as I realize I banished Niko to a world with his worst enemy and no magic to defend himself. I left him with no way to ever escape, as Pan is right. Only Darling magic can open the wards.
And perhaps the worst realization of all—Niko keeps his secrets close to his heart; there is no way he told Pan of me willingly, no matter what we’ve done to each other. He would see it as a vulnerability. And as the only person on the mainland who knows our story, it can only mean Pan somehow forced it from him.
The Aeternalis laughs again as horrible understanding threatens to send me crashing to my knees. The sound contains no humor this time, only an empty madness. He leans in so close I’m inundated by his scent—wild, open air, and something far darker. Blood.
“Soon, you will realize I’m the only one who sees you. The only one who understands the depth of your power and the black edges of your heart. I will always choose you, Willa. So long as you choose me.”
I grind my teeth as the black edges he speaks of—the ones that overtook me in the Hollows—rise up in answer to his call. “What did you do to him?”
“Him?”he spits, his eyes flashing. “You mean the boy I welcomed into my family? The coward who ran away from his kin? The pathetic usurper who only returned to betray my love for him?” His lips pull back in a smile, wicked and skeletal, as the shadow behind him pulses. “The ninth circle of hell is reserved for betrayers. Nikolas’ fate was befitting of his treachery.”
The Aeternalis draws a gun from the waistband of his pants and tosses it at my feet. The world begins to sway around me, for I would recognize the weapon anywhere. The moment I held it in the throne room of the Lunaedon over a year ago is etched irrevocably into my memory.
Niko’s revolver.
The air turns solid in my lungs, and suddenly, I’m choking. On the noxious air—on my own regret and anguish. It isn’t true—itcan’tbe true.
The Aeternalistsksirreverently. “Now then…You’re far too powerful to shed tears for a lowly traitor. I’ve been told your magic rivals my own, even at the height of my power. I can show you how to harness it.”
I stiffen at his words, my lips pulling back in a feral snarl that only makes him laugh again.
“You felt it when I arrived, didn’t you? How the island awakened at my presence? You may be the anchor, butI…I am the Creator, Willa. Somnya longs for me in a way it never will for you.”
In a single moment, he’s stripped me down to my truest fear: I am not enough. Not enough to save Celie; not enough to keep Niko; not enough to rule the island. Something slimy settles inside me at Pan’s words, like I’ve been waiting for the moment for someone else to realize what I already knew.
His grass-green eyes sparkle with pity. “You don’t have to be alone in your struggle. Together, we will create the most magical world where our every sinful depravity is worshipped instead of judged.”
He smiles softly. “They say you are the Queen of Dreams, and what is a dream but the most wicked of your desires? Together, we will bring each of them to life and it will not only be my kingdom that bends a knee to us, but every world beyond.”
“This isn’t your kingdom, Peter,” I whisper. “It’s mine.”
Mine, because despite everything, the island’strueking believed I was worthy of it once. Even if his belief ultimately condemned him to death.
I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the scrape of the Aeternalis’ gaze, the malevolent delight of his words.
All my anguish, my exhaustion, and my loneliness rise up like a wave, tangling with the shadows that twist around my heart. I press it all the lines of a painting, sloppy and desperate. Pan’s victorious face disappears as I push my magic outside of myself.
I hold my breath, and my tears, until I’m safe inside the dark comfort of the Lunaedon. And then, I sink to the floor and drown in them.
I can’t breathe.
No matter how I move—how I claw at my own skin—no air escapes from beneath the iron vise squeezing my ribs. It constricts until I’m gasping, digging my fingernails into my own chest in an attempt to alleviate the pressure, as I tear through Niko’s chambers.
His piano sits untouched at the center of the atrium, framed by the shining black boughs of the stone trees, soft sunlight reflecting on its gleaming surface. The sight—empty and eternally waiting—sends the remainder of my oxygen crashing from my lungs. I stumble past it, and burst out onto the balcony in search of modicum of relief.
But the crisp sea air isn’t enough.
