How did it go?she asks, her eyes drifting to the sudden barrage of shadows billowing from the mouth of the cave.
Each breath feels like needles have embedded themselves in my lungs. I curl into myself, bracing my hands on my knees and willing myself to stay conscious.
I have not used magic at all since my arrival in Letum, and though the memory of agony is ingrained in me, memory does not hold weight. I am unaccustomed to the heft of it, my bones brittle, my muscles atrophied beneath the pressure.
And though I am ruined beyond measure, the absurd urge to abandon all reason and dart back into the Crocodile rages through me. I hate myself for leaving Willa alone, but I know better than anyone: you cannot save someone from their own darkness, no matter how you may wish to.
Swallowing the sand in my mouth, I climb gingerly to my feet. “About as expected.”
The corner of Marina’s mouth twitches as more shadows erupt from the from the cave, skittering across the lagoon before dissipating over the sea.A year on the mainland hasn’t hindered your ability to piss off females.
“I’m afraid that talent is innate, and isn’t limited to women,” I reply. My voice is hoarse, the syllables as slurred and messy as my thoughts. I force another icy breath into my lungs, shuddering as my death crawls over my chest. “We need to get out of here before Willa makes it out of the lake.”
Marina’s eyebrows leap up her forehead.The lake?
I wave off her questions irritably, and motion for her to lead the way. She shoots me a curious look, but begins up the sand toward the trees. When I take a step to follow, my death wraps tightly around my ribs, nearly yanking me backward into the tide. My heartbeat skitters and agony sears through my body, cold and sharp.
Releasing a strangled groan, I struggle to trap the ribbons close; to wind them around my body and prevent them from dragging me back into the belly of the Crocodile.
Mine, mine, mine.
Their possession pulses through me alongside the pain, an abiding compulsion that steals my breath. It goes against the nature of death to surrender what is ours—to not storm back into the cave and steal Willa away from that aberration—but I’ve become learned in patience over the centuries. There are things that must be done before I can reclaim what I’ve lost. Strength to be regained and schemes to plan.
I’d only come to the heart of the island tonight to see for myself how true Dawson’s prediction was. Now that I know the extent of what’s been taken from Willa—and how much more there is for her to lose—determination has been branded into my dead heart.
Wendy was right. I don’t care if I cause another plague; I don’t care if I suck the entire universe into a black fucking hole—I’ll take back the kingdom if it kills me.I’ll shred myself apart to take back what’s been stolen. Believe me.
I’d said it as a sacred vow. A promise to Willa that I will never leave her to her shadow. A reminder that I know what it costs her, and she will never have to pay it alone again.
My teeth clack together and my joints scream in protest as I call my death back to me. The ribbons crawl up my arms, circle my throat. They slither over my chest and rake over my skin until each of my nerves is raw.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to remember to savor the pain for it means I have made it. After a year of scraping, I exist once again in the same world as Willa Darling, and that alone, is blessing enough.
A moment later, I force my feet forward. One feeble step, and then another, until I find the shade of the forest. Flowers wither beneath my bare feet, and will-o-wisps scatter up into the dark canopy. For so long, I couldn’t stand the feel of death against my skin, but now, I thank the star above for that, too.
Death is who I am—who I need to be to protect what’s mine, for death is an end. Theonlyend.
Marina hurries after me, her curious gaze burning at the back of my neck. When I stride past the nearest tunnel leading into the Hollows, she shoots me a suspicious glance.
I take it you’re not going back to rest.
It isn’t a question so much as a statement of fact, so I don’t bother to answer. I slip past her once more, glacial fury burning in my chest. I will rip the Aeternalis’ spine from his body for daring to sully what is mine. I was merciful in granting him the relief of death once; I will not grant it again.
I will make him beg and plead for the very thing he’s always feared. I will dangle it out of his reach, over and over. I will sliceopen his chest and fill the cavity with every bit of the pain he’s bestowed throughout the centuries until his organs rot and slide from his body.
I do not forgive. I do not forget.I will always burn with it.
Marina steps in front of me once more, and I’m forced to stop short to keep from bumping into her and sending her into the afterlife.
She throws a haughty hand on her hip.Where are you going?
“To go get my fucking ship.”
Chapter seventeen
The Hollow City glows.
Morphellia climbs over the stone in bright, verdant swathes. Sirens drift lazily past the windows, their iridescent scales leaving a trail of amethyst bubbles in their wake. The pixies buzz with excitement, the whir of their wings as they dart from building to building nearly as loud as the cacophony of tinkling voices.
