I’ll be crushed by the torment embedded in the stone of the tunnels; by the loneliness that burrowed into my bones as a child and never left. I’ll die alone, trapped for eternity with the ghosts of my own pain.
I jerk as something brushes my gloved fingers. It takes a few blinks to dissipate the specters of the past, and focus on the face swimming before me.
Marina.
She hadn’t left me at all. And somehow, the clever pixie figured out a way to move me off the beach before I’d had my throat slit by a ten-year-old. I suck in a shaky breath, meeting her gaze in the soft light of a lantern she’s lit between us. Sudden shame presses down against my shoulders, mingling with my pain until the bitterness of both stains my tongue.
I’m sorry,she signs, her gestures soft.But I didn’t have enough dust to bring you anywhere else.Her eyes skate over the jagged walls.Nowhere safe, at least.
I nod, even as the hair rises on the back of my neck. I have not been beneath the earth of Letum since I left as a child—noteven as king. The onyx stone haunts my dreams, the faint smell of blood and horror pungent in my nose even now that I know it to be imagined.
My thoughts snag on the rest of Marina’s words, and my gaze snaps to hers. “I’m sorry…but did you saydust?” She meets my eyes defiantly, even as I narrow mine. “Pixie dust?”
Marina’s stillness is answer enough. “Where the fuck did you manage to find pixie dust? Willa hasn’t even been anchor long enough for a bloom.”
Marina shrugs with a false casualty.
“Rina…”
Before…Her hands hesitate in midair, and a sharp breath whistles between her teeth.Before you came to Letum as a child, the pixies were treating the morphellia carelessly. It was meant to be used to transport children to the land of dreams, and reignite their hope when it faltered. Instead, the pixies were using it as a common drug. Snorting it, injecting it. It was despicable.
The Everlasting promised that if I helped him to overthrow them, he would care for the vines and nurture them like they were meant to be. His magic was still so wonderful then, I’d agreed.But over the centuries, he became more and more paranoid. He would listen to no one but the twisted whisperings of his shadow, even as the state of the island worsened. The vines began to wither and die, and I knew they would not come back with the way he’d desecrated our sacred earth.
Marina’s mouth presses into a thin line.So, I smuggled the last of it out of the Hollows. He discovered what I did, and severed my wings in revenge. I stole the ability to fly from him, so he ensured I would never fly either.
Her gaze falls to her hands as she says,Before he attacked me, I gave most of the dust to the pixies for safe-keeping. Eventhough they hated me, I knew they would protect it with their lives. But I was selfish then, and I couldn’t resist keeping some of it for myself.
Marina swallows, and my heart pulls taut at her despair, her self-hatred. She has never spoken to me of the moment she lost her wings, and lost in my own pain and self-hatred, I never asked.
It’s like a part of me knew I’d never feel the wind on my wings again. And I selfishly ensured that I would, no matter what.
I clear my throat. “Do you have any more?”
Marina smiles sadly, shaking her head.
“Rina—”
You saved me, Niko. When I gave you no reason to, you saved me.I open my mouth to object, but when she slashes her hand fiercely through the air, I fall silent.And not just on that beach. You saved me a thousand times when the shame and sadness made me want to die. You were my friend when I didn’t deserve it. And just as you gave up everything for Letum, it is no sacrifice for me to give up the sky for you.
I stare at Marina, and though she has been so many things—the right hand, the traitor, the fallen—I only see one: my friend.
There were so many things to miss exiled on the mainland, but my friends’ absence had been a physical ache with no abatement. Being with her again feels like coming home; like a jagged wound soothed.
She searches my face warily, as if bracing for my admonishment.
“I missed you,” I tell her simply.
Marina waves me off as if the sentiment is ridiculous, but I grin as the tips of her ears turn slightly pink. My death, which had been curled in a haphazard pile beside me, threads over my legs and slithers up my waist. I inhale a few deep breaths,willing away the pain of the magic and the unease of waking underground.
When I finally dare a glance around the rest of the cave, I don’t find the emptiness I expect of the Hollows. Plush blankets are laid out against the opposite wall like a makeshift bed, a haphazard pile of well-loved books stacked beside it. The stone ledge above is lined with folded clothes and oiled weapons that sparkled in the light of the fire blazing in a rudimentary stone hearth. A mouthwatering scent wafts from the copper pot hung above the flames, the smell both cozy and familiar.
“Rina,” I begin slowly, newfound wariness threading through me.
Don’t worry,she signs hurriedly, misunderstanding my sudden anxiety.No one will find us here. Even with Willa’s help, the pixies have only gone down a few levels so far, and we’re miles beneath that.
I don’t know whether it’s the familiar sign of Willa’s name, or the idea of being trapped so deep beneath the surface of the island that causes my stomach to flip. My death shudders and jerks, and I grit my teeth against the accompanying pain.
No one knows I’m here,she continues.I’m always cloaked when I go into Hollow City.
