Marina doesn’t smile. Instead, she sinks to the floor with her back bucked up to the glass. I study her for a long moment—the way she curls her knees to her chest, settling her face into the crook of her arms. And though it isn’t much, it feels like something of a victory that she hasn’t fluttered away.
“You should be down there with them, Rina. Star knows, I am miserable company on the best of days, but on a day like this one…you should grieve with your people. With those who loved Chrys as truly as you do.”
Marina doesn’t look up, her signs sharp slashes in the air.They would not allow it. And besides…Her fingers pause as she gathers her thoughts.I am not accustomed to their noise. It is overwhelming after having spent so long alone.
I nod in understanding, having felt the same way when Willa first came to the Lunaedon. Her laugh, her breathing, her movements—after living in silence, all of it had seemed so loud.
Marina lifts her head with a scowl.They are pulling books out of all the libraries, and bringing them all over the castle. They’re bringing themoutside,Niko. I’ll never get them all reshelved again.
I let out a huff of a laugh. “Stories are meant to be read, Rina. We’ll worry when the pixies start wagering on fights with the crystal.”
All they do is talk and gossip and chase after each other,she says with equal disdain.I hate it.
“You hate it? Or you envy it?”
Marina’s eyes narrow dangerously.They have lost their sacred home forever. They have lost their hope of the future in the morphellia vines. And they have lost—
Her fingers stall in midair, but I don’t need her to continue to know the greatest loss. The one that has torn a hole through her, a wound that will never heal.
She inhales sharply.You’d think they’d have more important things to do, but instead, they’re out there chattering about the king and queen wrestling each other on the front lawn.
“Who are they saying won?” I reply with interest, sinking to the floor beside her. My death wraps around my wrists, and I wince at the lick of pain.
There’s been great debate about that. I’ve heard Willa gave you a good run for your money, though the winter wind seems to believe you’re the one victorious.
A grin pulls at my lips unbidden. My queen yields to no one—least of all me—and it’s one of my favorite things about her.
“Well…at least the entire kingdom doesn’t think I got my ass kicked.”
I do,Marina replies with a cheeky grin.
“Hmm…” I hum in amusement. “You wouldn’t be far off. But she didn’t suck me into the ground or throw me through the wards, so I’m calling it a draw.”
Where is she?
I release a heavy breath through my teeth. “She went on a walk with Tiernan. I think she needed to clear her head.”
She should be here,Marina signs.She should hear how the people sing her name.
Sorrow winds through me because Willa’s heart is mine—the rhythm of its beat, the vines of self-hatred that squeeze until it feels dead. I can no more pull them from her chest than she can rid me of mine. I can only love her through the darkness.
“It is a difficult thing—” I meet Marina’s gaze. “—to see beyond what we’ve ruined to what we’ve changed for the better. A learned habit, maybe, that becomes easier with practice.”
She raises a brow pointedly, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Point taken, Rina.” I blow a breath through my teeth. “Though I can’t say I’ve learned much at all. Or perhaps, as you rightly said, I’ve learned all the wrong things. As I will send us all to hell with no hesitation before I let Willa give up the rest of her humanity to this island.”
My death sidles up my forearms to slide into the air around my head, as I lean back into the glass. My body is wasted from the exertion of the last few days, my nerves like cut wires, erratically sparking.
Marina watches me for a long moment.You didn’t know the extent of the consequences when you banished Wendy andkilled the Everlasting. You know now. Do you truly think you’ll have no regrets?
“None.” The word slips from my lips without thought. But there is no thought, no temperance, that would change the truth of what I feel: the universe does not deserve to exist if Willa is not in it. “I would allow the kingdom to be devoured by the sea if it meant Willa was alive and happy. I’d watch the mainland crumble to dust beneath hopelessness. I would bring ruin, and go to my own death with a smile on my face.”
My jaw tightens. “But it is not what she would want, so I can do none of it.”
To my surprise, Marina doesn’t admonish me. She smiles.It appears you’ve learned after all, Your Majesty.
I open my mouth to argue, but Marina quiets me with a stern look.You lived your life in regret for two centuries. You have hated the magic that runs through you, resented the death imbuing your heart. You have punished yourself for your ruthlessness and your cruelty and your pain. But now, Niko…you are embracing your strengths for those you love without regret, because you’ve learned some things are worth it.
