You’re a coward! You’re killingyourself!Sticking a knife through your own heart, so you won’t have to give Willa the chance to. Because you know better than any of us, the pain is far easier to endure when you know it’s coming. Isn’t it?
I step back like she’s struck me square in the chest, her words vibrating through my ribs like the strongest of blows.
You don’t have to do everything on your own. You’ve always chosen to be alone. And if that’s your choice, then you fucking deserve it.Marina bows sarcastically, her eyes sharp and cutting.So with all due respect,Your Majesty,I’ll leave you to it.
With that, Marina spins on her heel and stalks off, leaving me staring after her. Alone.
Chapter thirty-five
Iwake to a bed long gone cold, and no sign of Niko or his ribbons.
Though we’ve been locked in Niko’s rooms for over three days, and he’s probably ignored his kingly duties for too long, I still feel a thread of disappointment. We’d been so lost in each other—tangled and bare—it was easy to forget there was a world outside of us.
A world where devotion is a weakness to be exploited and hearts are landmines—one wrong step, and there’ll be nothing left of it to recover.
What does it mean that Niko willingly abandoned the safety of our haven to venture out into that world?
Look at what I’d burn to the ground for you.
I replay his words in my head as I bathe.
You are the only beautiful thing I’ve allowed myself.
Again, as I wander down to the kitchen to find breakfast.
You are adytum in a lifetime of purgatory.
As I devour the last few bites of an apple donut, courtesy of the Lunaedon’s magic, I resolve to spend the day figuring out the meaning of the word. It feels important—like if I decipher the one word, I’ll somehow decipherhim.
It tugs at the recesses of my mind, some memory long buried by two centuries. I’ve heard it somewhere before, but as I meander aimlessly through the palace, it remains stubbornly out of my grasp.
It slips further from me as I roam deeper into the palace, my attention turning to exploring wings I hadn’t known existed and the beautiful things contained within them. I while away the hours taking in paintings and sculptures and tapestries. The luscious furnishings and gorgeous gothic architecture.
I don’t know how I ever wondered if Niko had been the designer of the Lunaedon when each detail of the castle is so uniquely him, like it was crafted from his very magic. While he may have avoided living beauty, he found a way to surround himself with it, nonetheless.
Sometime after lunch, I breeze past large glass doors on the fifth story, thrown open wide to a balcony overlooking the lagoon. A group of sirens have gathered on one of the far rocks, their silvery voices weaving together through the dark afternoon sky. The melody hooks beneath my ribs, its cadence somehow both sorrowful and immeasurably wishful.
I step out on the balcony, striding toward the railing, a sudden need to get closer to their song—to immerse myself in the sirens’ consonance the way I would in the sea itself—when a deep voice rings out from beside me.
“I’d step away from the edge if I were you.”
Heart flying up into my throat, I whirl around to find Sam sitting in a wooden chair, the many gold earrings that climb both his ears winking in the starlight, a half-finished painting propped on an easel before him.
“Sam!” I gasp, startled. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were back from the Grove.”
Sam smiles, nodding to the sirens. “You get used to it, eventually.”
“It?” I ask warily.
“Their song. The sirens were born from the combination of childhood mischief and innocent beauty. They can make their emotions yours through their songs, and they find great pleasure in doing so.”
I swallow this information slowly, as Sam goes on with a knowing wink, “I didn’t think you’d appreciate falling off another building.”
Grinning sheepishly, I gesture to the painting. “Sorry to interrupt. I’ll, uh…get out of your hair.”
“You aren’t interrupting anything,” he insists with a warm smile, motioning to the empty chair beside him. “I’d appreciate the company actually. Marina has disappeared, and Tiernan is still at the Grove.”
“Why aren’tyoustill there?” I blurt out, immediately wincing at the brash question and hoping Sam doesn’t hate me for it. “Shit,” I mutter, heaving a flustered breath. “I’m sorry, that’s absolutely none of my buis—”
