Cal laughs heartily. “I would write a spectacular romance novel, obviously, but I actually did come to talk to you about the plan for Yen Girene. It’s obviously changed since we left the Nemoran Wood. How can I help?”
I feel both shamed and seen. I’ve been meaning to talk to Cal—and Max, as well, once she calms down—about everything that happened on our journey here. But time seems to slip from my grasp, or more accurately, has been swallowed by another person entirely. Mirren. And not that she’s actually stolen my time; it’s more the idea of her that has kept me preoccupied since we returned. Thoughts of her consume my waking moments; who she is to the magic of prophecies of the land; how I can possibly keep her safe when the entire country seems to be entrenched in a game I don’t even understand the rules of. And in the smaller hours, more intimate thoughts, that involve her lips and her luminescent skin, and those wild curls sprawled across my pillow…
And Cal. I’ve told him none of this, and still, he knows. And he doesn’t judge me, as I judge myself. He only offers himself as if I deserve that sort of loyalty. I swallow roughly and then tell him everything, starting with the morning they left and leaving nothing out. He opens his mouth to speak when I get to the part about Cullen’s camp, but I shake my head, unwilling to pause for even a moment. It feels good to let the words pour out of me, to tell someone every selfish, bitter, miraculous feeling I’ve had since stealing Mirren.
Cal’s eyes go wide when I tell him of being healed by the cave stream and wider still when I explain my suspicions about Denver and the Dead Prophecy and Mirren’s connection to it all.
“It can’t be a coincidence,” he says, his face thoughtful, “that Denver is taken while hunting for that prophecy. And it can’t be a coincidence that Aggie makes a prophecy about Mirren around the same time. But what I can’t figure out is the Achijj’s place in it all. Why suddenly decide to enter the fray, and with such a brutal move?”
I nod solemnly, but I feel no relief in Cal’s agreement. It’d be simpler if he told me my theory was insane.
“If this is all true, it definitely changes things.”
“How so?”
Cal’s face falls serious and a lump lodges in my throat. I’ve known Calloway since he was fourteen when Denver found him on a trip to Siralene. I was still practically feral when we first met, all rage and growling and darkness. But he walked right up to me and enveloped me in a hug as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And indeed, Cal made it feel like it was. In spite of all the horror he’s experienced—losing his entire family and the world he thought he belonged to—he’s never been jaded. His face is always adorned with an open smile and his arms always open to whoever is in need of them. Even if, like me, they aren’t always aware they do.
So if his face is serious, I’m not going to like what comes out of his mouth. “You can’t bring Mirren to the Achijj, Anni.”
I don’t like it. Not at all.
I stare at him, my shock warring with anger. Mirren is the only way into Yen Girene. Is he honestly suggesting I leave Denver there? Give up on the man who gave me something to live for?
“What do you mean?” I reply dumbly.
Cal smiles sadly at me and I consider hitting the pity off his face. I keep my fists balled at my sides.
“I mean, if the Dead Prophecy is the reason why he wants her, there are higher things working here. If magic is really awake and it has chosen Mirren, we can’t risk bringing her there. Something’s at play here, something we’re missing. He may be old, but he isn’t going to roll over and let us take Denver and Mirren without a fight. Not if they’re both connected to bringing magic back.”
“Then I’ll give him his fight,” I growl menacingly.
Cal shakes his head. “We’re missing something here, Shaw. Something important. And until we find out what it is, we can’t risk you. And you can’t risk Mirren.”
I am laid bare in the face of Cal’s words. So simple and yet, I haven’t been able to even think them to myself. Because they feel like a betrayal and a balm all at once. How can I have grown to care so much for Mirren as to put her safety at the same level as the man who saved me? I owe Denver more than my life—I owe him whatever fragments of my soul still remain. I would give my life for his a thousand times over, but…I won’t give Mirren’s.
That’s what I haven’t been able to admit to myself until now.
I meet Cal’s understanding gaze, my eyes swimming with humiliation and truth. “I cannot,” I admit, my words broken. Ragged.
Cal just nods. “Then let’s figure out a new way forward.”
* * *
Mirren
As it turns out, getting ready really is going to take seven hours. In the face of no electricity, Ferusian girls have discovered creative ways to tame their tresses and all of them take time, especially when someone has such a mass of them, Max insists with a pointed look. I bend over the clawfoot tub obediently, biting my lip as she dumps lukewarm water over my head and then attacks my scalp with a pleasant-smelling soap.
It’s easier this way. Without having to look at the distasteful set of her lips, I can pretend she’s doing this because we’re friends, rather than what we are—a Lemming and a Dark Worlder that can barely stand to be in the same room together. It isn’t until Max begins an attempt to untangle my clean hair that I try to speak to her. “What kind of celebration are we attending?”
Max snags the wide toothed comb in a particularly large knot and my eyes water. “It’s the lunar celebration,” she answers shortly, detangling the knot deftly and far more quickly than I would have managed. “You really need to deep-condition or you aren’t ever going to tame this hair,” she adds.
I nod, knowing I won’t be taking her advice. Once I’m back in Similis, my hair will be braided down my back once more, an afterthought. “What’s the celebration for?”
She pours a vial of something into her hands and begins scrunching it into my hair. “It happens once a month when the moon hangs the lowest over the Averitbas mountains and reflects in the bay. They say it started out as a ritual for the old gods a long time ago, something to celebrate the earth’s magic and renew it with their faith. But Denver resurrected the practice, mostly as a way to celebrate the community. To just come together and enjoy each other’s company.”
It’s the first time I’ve heard the word ‘community’ be spoken so casually. Confidently, like there is no doubt in her mind it’s where she belongs. I wonder what it would be like, to be able to choose my community for myself. And if that would make me want to celebrate it.
“Berik proposed to Evie at the last one,” Max continues, and I remember Shaw speaking of the baker that also serves as a councilwoman. “It was terribly romantic.”
