“Max,” Cal scolds softly, but I shake my head.
“She’s right. There’s no point in delaying.” As I say the words, something in me rears back, revolting against the idea of walking through those gates. From willingly locking myself inside those prisoned walls, away from my friends and my magic, silenced and gray once again.
And away from Shaw. Crossing the Boundary is admitting that he is truly gone forever. Because if he weren’t, if there were any way to get him back, I would never be able to leave.
“Do you think they’ll just let you back in? It’s not as if you were just out for a wandering stroll,” Calloway says doubtfully. He eyes the Boundary men in the distance distrustfully.
I remember the way they chased Harlan; the gunshot that rang into the clear night as I ran for freedom. “They won’t have a choice. I’ll force them to listen,” I say with a confidence I don’t feel. I imagined that when I came back, I would have my father by my side. But instead, I’m doing this alone.
Cal purses his lips as if to argue, but nods.
With shaking fingers, I unbuckle Shaw’s bandolier. My fingers brush the soft leather and longing, hollow and aching, pierces through me. I hand it to Cal. “I can’t take these with me,” my voice breaks and I can’t continue. Can’t ask that it be cherished and remembered, just like the man who owned them.
But Calloway knows. He runs his long fingers over the daggers reverently, before fastening them over his own chest. A bow has always been his weapon of choice, but the bandolier fits him well and something loosens slightly in my chest.
I hesitate at my thigh. The weight of the simple sheath has grown familiar, the ridges of the carved blade a comfort, even now. And Shaw’s cheeky grin as he pressed it into my hand.Feel free to use it against me any time, Lemming.
I unbuckle the sheath and shove it unceremoniously into Max’s hands. She frowns, staring down at the knife. Knowing what it means.
“Thank you both for everything you’ve done for me. You are the only true friends I’ve ever had, and I will never…never forget how that felt.”
Cal’s eyes shine as he envelops me in a hug. I savor its warmth, knowing it will be the last for a long while. Maybe forever. Max stands apart, watching us with shrewd eyes. I don’t try to hug her again. Everything between us was said in the lines of our embrace in Shaw’s bedroom.
She puts a hand to her heart and extends it straight outward. “Curae sevilen,”she murmurs.
I nod and turn away before I do something stupid, like cry.
“We’ll stay in the forest until first light,” Cal calls from behind me. Tears pool in my eyes and my power stirs, brushing against my skin. Awakened and hungry. I want to shove it away. Being numb is so much easier than the brutal tearing of my heart every moment of every day. But I will need it soon, so I feed it my sorrow and loneliness. My hope and my anguish.
As I emerge from the safety of the trees and down the embankment, I feel impossibly naked. I have nothing to cover my vulnerability—no weapons, no trees, and no friends. But I force myself to keep moving. For Easton. For Shaw.
The moment I’m spotted, the Boundary men are a flurry of activity. Clipped shouts ring out. I walk slowly, my hands raised in the air. I have seen what they do to people who upset the equilibrium. I’ll be no help to Easton if I’m dead.
“Halt or we shoot,” a familiar voice calls.
I do what I’m told. My magic writhes inside me as if it can feel the pull of the Boundary, its cage growing closer.
The Boundary men run over in a well-formed unit; guns raised high. The sight of the weapons no longer raises a spike of anxiety. I know now they are only cold metal. It isn’t the weapons that should be feared, but those who wield them.
“I am Similian,” I tell them.
The man in front lowers his weapon, golden eyes wide. “Mirren?” Harlan gasps. “Don’t shoot!” he barks at the others.
Hope and shock wash over me. “Harlan? How are you—"
He shakes his head tersely, eyes flashing with warning, and I fall silent. “We have orders to bring her to straight to the Covinus.”
My magic swirls, shivering with rage as another of the men handcuffs my wrists. I force myself to hold still. Remind myself that I am choosing this. I soothe myother,let it run softly beneath my skin.No matter where you are, you are not caged, little bird. You have wings.
Harlan avoids my gaze. Another guard shoves me forward toward the gate.
“I wish to see my brother.”
There is no response as they yank me through the gate. When we step across the Similian Boundary, my body jerks suddenly. My face scrapes the cobblestones as I fall to the ground, my arms wrenched behind me. Pain burns through me, hot and sharp and I scream as if hot pokers slice through my heart.
“Mirren!” Harlan cries in alarm. He pushes the other Boundary men away from me, but I can’t focus on him.
It is just like before when Cullen stepped into the dungeon. I am left brittle and desolate as every bit of my magic is pulled from my body. I look around wildly, suddenly sure I will see his pale, flat eyes.
