“Shaw isn’t lost,” I tell him gently, “he’s right here with us. Fighting for you.”
“One more piece,” he gasps, gripping my hand roughly. “One more piece and he will be gone!” He slips from my grasp, gesturing wildly. I follow the direction of his hand and my mouth goes dry.
A few feet away, feet that may as well be miles, Anrai hovers over Shivhai. His face is split in a humorless grin and his eyes burn, an uncontrolled maelstrom of anger. He has a dagger poised at Shivhai’s throat and the other arcs downward. I’ve been afraid since the moment I crossed the Boundary—since before, when the Healer declared Easton’s life over—but this fear is different. It grips something deep, coating my lungs and heart in hoarfrost. Everything inside me freezes, immovable, as I realize what Denver is trying to tell me.
Anrai is going to kill Shivhai.
Thelegatusdeserves death and more for the agony he’s inflicted on the world. But if Denver is right, Anrai will surrender the last piece of his soul to the curse and be lost to the Darkness forever. Lost tomeforever.
You don’t know what your morals are, what lines you will cross, until they are tested. And I know there are no lines.His words to me a lifetime ago. At the time, the world as I knew it was painted entirely in crisp blacks and whites. But now, a thousand shades of gray have filled the spaces between.
Anrai was right. Thereareno lines I will not cross to protect those I care about. Even from themselves.
I get to my feet, my legs like jelly beneath me. He has always taken the weight of the world on his shoulders, shredding himself and handing the pieces over to protect those he loves. But this time, he isn’t alone.
Community before self.He is my community. He is my home. And that makes my choice so easy.
I send my power flying toward them, the ice shards as cold and sharp as my fear. Anrai leaps up with a shout, turning wide, beautiful eyes on me as the realization of my intent slashes across him like a whip.
“Mirren, NO!” I see the movement of his mouth more than hear his desperate words, but it is too late.
I send the ice flying down Shivhai’s throat.
I close my eyes as the shards, sharper even than glass, shred his windpipe and then further—further until I feel the life leave thelegatusin a small wisp.
It’s then I feel the fissure. I gasp, my hands flying to my chest where something cracks, irrevocably broken. The pain burns hotter than any iron, unbearable and unending as it rips through me. Every bone in my body is cracking and I scream as I fall to the ground. It tears and claws me from the inside out and it won’t end, it will never end. Because this is what it feels like to lose a piece of your soul.
The fire rages through my body, burning every nerve ending. A gaping abyss opens inside me, darker than the place my power resides, and I fall into it until there is nothing but suffocating darkness.
* * *
Shaw
Terror as I have never felt pierces me as Mirren falls to the dungeon floor. Her head bounces off the stone and her hair sprawls, and I think I am screaming as I push myself off Shivhai’s lifeless body. The battle around us has ceased, the remaining soldiers surrendering at the point of Max’s sword, but I have eyes only for the girl on the ground as I race to her side.
Her eyes are closed, the color leached from her skin. Her mouth is slightly parted, pale and wan. She isn’t dead. She is so much worse. Irreparably torn apart. Broken.
No, no, no.
She did this for me. And I do not deserve it, could never deserve the irreversible changing of her soul. The gaping abyss, the one I know so well, is now hers forever. Ugly tears pour down my face. I circle my arms around her and pull her to my chest. I hold her and cry for us both. For her sacrifice and for my rescue. For the gift I’m not worthy of, but she’s bestowed upon me anyway.
I feel her stir in my arms and watch her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks. After a moment, her eyes open and she peers up at me, her face awash with relief and something else I won’t name—something more powerful than magic and too pure for this dungeon that is drenched in blood and hatred.
“Why is it that I’m always being rendered unconscious around you?” She shifts to sitting, her face breaking into a wry smile. And I can’t help it. Despite the enormity of everything, I let out a peel of laughter, loud and joyous.
“I’m told my good looks have that effect on women.”
She shoves me playfully, but then her mouth draws down in worry. I want to wipe it away, to never give her cause for consternation again. “Denver,” she says, shoving herself to standing. I know better than to offer to help her up. My adopted father’s name rings through me with a start, followed by a wave of shame that in the midst of everything, I almost completely forgot him.
“He isn’t well, Shaw.” I know she doesn’t use my name because we aren’t safe, but I ache for the sound of it in her voice anyway. Max and Cal, having tied up the few remaining conscious soldiers, run over to us as Mirren kneels beside her father.
Max gasps, throwing a hand over her mouth in horror as she takes in Denver’s state and my own throat is tight as my gaze roves over him.
My gods. What did Shivhai do to him?
I knew Denver was probably being interrogated, but that was when I thought it was only the Achijj behind this. He was methodical, a businessman, but not known for being unduly cruel.
But this.This.
