The men bow in servitude. “We live to serve you, my Queen.”
And that is all I need.
I do not make a grand exit. I simply ride into the night, hopeful that when I return, it will be with my sons.
Three
Queen Emeline
TWO DAYS LATER
“We will set up camp here,” Louis says, gesturing with his chin to a clearing in the thick trees. “There is shelter and a stream for water. I’m sure there are animals to hunt and feed.”
Nodding, I dismount my horse, my wobbly legs almost giving out from beneath me.
“My Queen!” Louis swoops down to help me, but I wave him off.
“Louis, for us to remain in secret, you must not refer to me as your queen.”
He gasps, horrified that I would suggest such a thing.
“As your queen, I command it,” I say with a smile.
He nods, but I can read his displeasure. “As you wish, milady.”
I can’t believe the relief I feel at being addressed that way. It’s the first time in a long time that I have felt like me. The weight of the kingdom comes second because the only thing that matters is finding my sons.
I lead my horse to water, allowing him to have a well-deserved drink.
“What troubles you?” Catherine asks, as she too allows her horse to drink.
She knows me too well.
“Circumstances are dire, my love. We ride into Daneland, and even though the outcome is unknown, I have never felt more…alive. This is the first time in a very long time that I have felt…free. The responsibilities that come with being queen are tiresome. I do not complain, but I begin to wonder if I made the right choice.”
“You mean with Skarth?”
My heart aches just hearing his name.
“Aye. I cannot help but imagine a life where it is just he and I, and you and our sons. Would life be simpler? I do not know, as hindsight does not favor anyone. But even when I was fearful for my life and close to death, I still felt more at peace than I do now.
“It does not make sense. But what is all of this without those you love? I fight to improve my people's lives, but what about me? I know that is selfish because being a leader is about sacrifice, but I have given up so much. Was it all for nothing?”
Catherine links her hand through mine. “If it were not for you, I would be dead. So it is not for nothing.”
I turn to look at her with nothing but pride. “I do not believe that for you, my love, are far more resilient than you think.”
“Only because I have you to follow as guidance. This is a man’s world. We are seen as inferior. But you have not allowed that to stop your vision. No man has ever stopped you. In fact, I believe you do what you do just to spite them.”
I can’t contain my chuckle because she’s right.
“My entire life, it has been expected of me to obey, and I did that once upon a time, which is why I refuse to do it again. The only men who ever treated me like an equal were Skarth and Ulf. The very men the Englishmen label as heathens or pagans are far more educated and respectful than our fellow countrymen.
“If I can teach you one thing in this world, it is to never allow a man to control you. Be truthful to yourself because, in the end, we come into this world alone, and that is how we die.” I squeeze Catherine’s fingers with love.
“I never said this before, but thank you for always treating me with nothing but kindness and love. I have always felt like your family.”
“That’s because you are, my sweetling.”
