My cock begins to fill for the fifth time this morning. I’m at work. I shouldn’t be watching her videos while I sit behind my desk, but I can’t get fucking enough of what she sounds like. Her voice is on repeat in my head, every second of every day. When I’m with patients, I’m locked in, but she’s still in the back of my mind.
And I want more. I want so much more.
No one has ever had this effect on me, not even my ex-wife. Danielle was great, but we met when we were very young. We got married at nineteen thinking we would be together forever. We stayed married for about ten years before we realized that our relationship wasn’t working. Sexually, we had never really been compatible, but being so young, what did we know about that?
She’s doing great now. She remarried and has three kids. We drop in on each other once a year, around Christmas to wish each other a happy holiday, and then we catch up for a few minutes, wish each other well, and move on.
And I really do hope she has the life she wants.
Now, I’m wondering what the hell I want out of life. I was happy diving into my work. I’m the youngest neurosurgeon department head Warrick General has ever had. I’m damn good at my job. I’m the top neurosurgeon in the country. My day is spent operating on someone’s brain. They’re trusting me to get them back to their regular lives without any issues. Every day, I hold someone’s personality in my hands, their reasons for living, the way they make decisions, feel, fall in love.
It’s a lot of pressure, and that’s what I love about it.
I stare at my phone again, rereading the messages from this mystery woman that I can’t seem to get out of my head. There are a lot of issues with this:
One, we don’t know what one another looks like, but that isn’t that big of a deal to me. Being a brain surgeon, I know there’s more to a person than looks. I really liked Miss Wrong Number’s energy. She was fun, carefree, and a breath of fresh air that I hadn’t had in a while.
Two, my life is consumed at the hospital. Hell, I barely fucking see anyone outside of this department.
And yet another big issue is the seventeen-year age gap. What kind of man would that make me if I pursued her and took away her youth? She’d resent me for taking away her best years.
“Fuck,” I curse, dropping the phone on my desk. “Twenty-six. Fucking hell.” There are so many reasons I need to stay far away from her. It’s why I never messaged her back.
I want to text her and tell her she’s been on my mind for days. One part of me wonders what I would do with a woman her age, and the other part of me growls because I know damn well what I want to do with her.
Unable to get enough, I stare at the photos again, the ones of her from the club. Her red hair is twirling in the hair, covering her face. All the photos she sent me are blurred, which makes me smile. I imagine she has green eyes, but Iknowshe has beautiful red hair, and a body I want my hands on so fucking bad it’s kept me up at night.
“Wow, I haven’t seen you smile like that since I shook your hand and welcomed you to Warrick General.”
My phone clatters to the desk when I hear Dr. Warrick’s voice. I feel like I’ve gotten caught doing something I shouldn’t have. Dr. Warrick is the one man in this hospital I do not want to piss off. Not only is he the chief of surgery, but his family owns this hospital and many across the country. He’s truly the man in charge and everyone knows it.
“Dr. Warrick, what brings you to my side of the hospital?”
“Just wanted to see how you were liking things. I know you and I have a surgery together at the end of this week. Are you ready?”
“I’m always ready,” I answer with a bit too much confidence.
It’s true though. I’ve had many more successful surgeries than losses. It’s why people come to me.
Dr. Warrick chuckles and steps into my office, holding a medical chart under his arm. He takes a seat in front of my desk, getting too comfortable for my liking. I’m a bit of a loner. I like my space.
“I know,” he says. “But being in a new place, nervous jitters and all…”
“No nerves. I’m ready. You can count on me. I know I’m young, if that’s why you’re?—”
His eyes widen a bit before he schools his features. “No, I’m not worried about that. Your age has nothing to do with your skill. You’ve worked hard to perfect your craft. I respect that. You have the steadiest hands I’ve ever seen. I know you’ll do great.”
“Thank you, sir.” I tap my fingers on the desk. He still hasn’t said why he’s here.
Company is fine, I guess. I’m not the best at making friendships where I work. I do my job, I go home, sleep, come back, and do my job again. That’s how my life has been and I’m happy with it like that.
At least, I thought I was. My eyes drift back to my phone, remembering the messages waiting for me to reread for the thousandth time. I thought I was okay being alone. It’s worked for me for over a decade. I don’t have time for love.
Love.
Look at me getting ahead of myself. I don’t even know this woman’s name, and she’s got me in a fucking mess.
“You’re distracted.” Dr. Warrick narrows his eyes at me. “I know that look all too well.”
