“And that’s why we’re going to focus on getting you out of survival mode,” said Jude. “None of us are kids anymore. We can grow together and figure out what works for everyone.”
“But what if you don’t like me when I’m not in survival mode?”
“Maddie, that’s not going to happen,” Jude insisted.
“But—”
Leo silenced the protest with a kiss, soft and loving, with no demand or expectation pushing it. Then he kissed my forehead, too. “Give us a fair chance to love you. Don’t assume from the start we won’t.”
“I’m not going fucking anywhere.” Nathan toyed with my hair, twirling the ends around his fingertips. “I’ll be a barnacle on your ass for the rest of time.”
“I’ll be…” Alve began, “less a barnacle, and perhaps more like an oyster protecting and housing the pearl within.”
“I think you might be forgetting all the glimpses I’ve had over the years,” said Jude, lacing his fingers through mine. “I’ve seen your mask drop hundreds of times, and what’s beneath it is what made me fall in love with you to begin with. The others will love you, too, but not because you try to placate them to avoid conflict. They’ll love you when you stand your ground, when you push back, when you get so ridiculously excited about something, it’s like the sun is shining out through your eyes. I promise if you let the armor fall, we’re going to love every vulnerable bit underneath.”
I wanted to believe them. If it was all a lie, it was certainly sweet enough to swallow. Maybe one day I would be faced with a bitter truth, but for now, I felt safe enough to sink into what they offered. I had told them about the chaos that had forged me, and now they’d have to prove their statements one way or the other.
What happened next was up to them.
Was this how Charlotte felt all the time? I was so relaxed, I didn’t even want to move to start the day. How did she pry herself out of her nest?
Leo was pressed against the length of my back, purring softly in his sleep, with his arm draped over my waist and up my chest to cradle my cheek. Nathan and Jude were in a similar position, but both awake and watching something quietly on Jude’sphone. Alve was awake, too, tapping away on his laptop on the edge of the nest.
“Good morning,” I whispered.
Jude’s phone dropped immediately and he rolled closer to kiss me. “How are you feeling?”
“Weirdly good. Feels like all my stress took a temporary vacation.”
“Let’s work on it taking apermanentvacation,” Nathan said with a sleepy smile.
“Why are you so far away?” I asked Alve.
“I didn’t want to disturb you with my work.”
“But how are you supposed to kiss me if you’re all the way over there?”
He was too fucking cute with how pink his cheeks got. Jude and Nathan wiggled over to give him space, since Leo was still dead to the world. Alve set his laptop aside and gingerly lay between Jude and I.
Alve brushed his knuckles over my jaw and I lifted my head to meet his as he descended. He tasted minty. Apparently, he had slipped away to wash up for the day already. Before I could worry about my own condition, he eliminated the concern with a soft moan.
Leo’s cock rose to life beneath my ass and he joined us in the waking world. “What’s happening?”
“Just Alve helping our girl greet the day,” Nathan said with a grin.
Did I officially qualify astheirgirl now? Being bonded to Leo meant there was no going back, and some part of me expected to be panicked by that, but Leo was so warm in my chest, I couldn’t be bothered.
If things stayed this way, this pack would be the opposite of the family I grew up with. They would be safe, stable. They could give a child a home they deserved. I knew it wasn’t aguarantee. People could change and down the road, things might be different, but this was far better than having concerns from the start.
“What if I wanted to be a mom?” I asked quietly, bracing for derision.
Leo’s purr roared at full volume. He traced his lips over the bite mark he’d given me, cozy delight flowing through the bond to untangle my anxiety.
“Then I guess I can admit out loud I’ve been a bit jealous over my sister’s life,” Nathan announced. “I love having a niece, but I’d also love a kid of our own.”
“I’m attuned to chaos,” said Alve gently. “When I was young, it felt like too much, but I’ve been realizing more and more how much I’ve missed having a houseful. I always expected fatherhood to be in the cards for me, and I think now that the option is in front of me, it’s less expectation and closer to anticipation.”
I looked to Jude for his answer and was met with the same sweet smile he always gave me. “However many kids you want to have is how many I’ll raise and love with you. Not like I’ve been imagining that a hundred times over the years or anything.”
