“You can use the nest,” Alve offered. “Or would you prefer we step out of the apartment?”
“Nest is fine.” I peeked through my lashes at Jude and though he looked thoroughly confused, he popped right up whenI stood, tugged him down the hallway, and closed the nest door behind us.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can you hold me for a little bit? I feel like I’m going to fall apart and it felt weird to ask in front of the others.”
“Of course.” Jude opened his arms, a soft, understanding smile soothing me.
I melted into his embrace and let myself sink. I wasn’t sure how much time passed while I worked up the courage to open my mouth again, but my feet eventually started to ache from standing on the hardwood.
When I stepped away, it was with enough reluctance that my movements were slow, knowing what I was about to say could bring even more crumbling down.
“I—” The words froze on my tongue. I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’m going to feel stupid saying it.”
“No judgment,” Jude promised.
My heart was beating so fast it was abuzz in my ears, and my chest was too tight to get a proper deep breath.
“Maddie? Do you need to sit down?”
“I like you.” Those three words rushed out and my heart launched into hyperspeed. “For years. I didn’t say anything because of Tyler, because it didn’t seem like there was a point, but I do, and I have, pretty much since we met, and I don’t want everything to be weird, but it’s gonna come out at some point. Might as well be now. If it’s going to ruin everything, I’d rather be able to let that hope go because it’s not fair to hold onto an idea you’re never going to want.”
Oh, god.
Now it was out there. My whole body braced for rejection, and I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath.
His burst of laughter didn’tsoundmocking, but also didn’t make any sense. Warm hands cupped my cheeks. “Maddie, look at me.”
I peeked through my lashes and found his eyes shiny, his smile so beautiful, it made my chest ache. “You don’t hate me?”
“That’s not possible. How out of line would I be right now if I kissed you?”
Raspberry sweetness erupted out of me even before my brain could fully process the words. Jude—my angel of a friend—wanted to kissme? My toes hoisted me up on instinct and his mouth dipped to meet mine. I didn’t need him to be a scent match to want him. I’d been doing just fine on that front for too long, only holding back because the alpha who had saved me from my family kept me to himself.
I locked my arms around Jude’s neck and poured all those years of tucked away longing into a kiss I’d thought for so long I shouldn’t want. Keeping things professional between us had been a necessity, but it had never stopped me from watching the way his lips moved when he talked, or envisioning him pressing me into a mountain of blankets at the store.
Too soon.
But was it really?
I’d been a dog chained up in the yard and I was suddenly unleashed.
Jude’s hands slid down my body to rest at my waist and I thought I might melt out of existence. He felt exactly like I had imagined.
I pulled away to suck in gasping breaths and wedged my head beneath his chin so I didn’t have to look him in the eye. “You’re really, super sure you don’t hate me?”
His thumbs brushed gently along my ribs. “Are you asking because you would hate me if I were in the same position? Because I’ve been in the same boat.”
Wait. What?
I pushed away to see his face. “Same boat how?”
“I definitely had a crush on you from the first time you walked into my store.”
“Is that why you helped me?”
“Well, for one, helping you was part of my job, but yeah, at first I was excited because of the crush.But, once I had accepted your situation I was excited because you’re you. Every day I saw you was a good one. It always killed me that Tyler didn’t appreciate you, and not just because I wanted you for myself, but because you really fucking deserve to be appreciated. Not going to be mad that I finally get to do it this way, though.”
