“Yeah, we can have a movie night. We gon’ have a vote, okay Spark?”
She pouted. “Little Mermaid is going to lose.”
“Maybe. If it does, we can watch it together tomorrow. Cool?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
“Aight bet,” I said, walking off to hurry up upstairs.
When I made it to the bedroom, Mahogany was taking clothes off the bed. She cut her eyes at me and took a deep breath.
“The kids want to have a movie night,” I said, leaning against the doorframe. “You joining us?"
"Do I have a choice?”
“Yeah… You have a choice.”
Snorting she said, “No… I really don’t.”
She was hinting at keeping up appearances. She used to be the same way when we had to do a family function in the middle of a fight.
“You gone hate me for the rest of my life, Ne?” I sadly asked, watching her move around the bedroom with an attitude.
She looked over at me. “I don’t hate you.”
“You act like it.”
She didn’t say anything. Took a deep breath and went to brush by me again. Except this time, I stopped her by delicately grabbing her arm. She went to snatch away, but I grabbed her tighter.
“I’m sorry.”
“No argument there. Let me go.”
“Give me thirty minutes, Ne. Thirty minutes to explain myself.”
That was all I needed. Thirty minutes of understanding. Thirty minutes of her undivided attention. Just to get her to understand. Just to get her to see. I had to fight for my marriage. I had to fight for us. I couldn’t let shit ride the way it’s been riding. I needed to fix it but in order for me to even attempt, she had to allow me to.
“I don’t need an explanation. There’s nothing you can say to change what’s happening.”
With dipped brows, my eyes searched hers for an inkling of the Mahogany I fell in love with. I couldn’t find her. All I could see was pain, anger, and the hatred she said she didn’t have for me. I swallowed, took a deep breath, and shook my head. “Mahogany. Please.”
“You said we’re having a movie night… I need to run to the store to get snacks,” she said before roughly snatching away from me.
Before I could grab her again, she walked away fast as hell.
I rested my head against the doorway and let out a deep sigh. What was I supposed to do? I looked up and silently asked the Lord for guidance. With tears in my eyes, I begged him to give me insight. Begged him to show me the way. To give me a sign. To help me out. To throw me a fuckin bone. Did I deserve that? Nah, not really. Maybe before Talia, yeah. But shit hadn’t a nigga been through enough these past couple of months? Shit, if you count the hell Mahogany had been putting me throughsince she forgave me last time, I’d say I’d been going through hell for years. I just needed a break. Just a sprinkle of true, genuine happiness without feeling like a fuck up. I wondered if he’d give me that. I wondered if he’d give me what I wanted. Something in my heart told me that things were only going to get worse, though.
The next morning,I woke up before her. Turned over on my side as much as my broken ribs would allow and watched her sleep. The sun hadn’t even come up yet; it was so early. It felt good waking up next to her. Felt like completion. Like I was exactly where I was meant to be. Honestly. Nothing about it felt wrong. Nothing about it felt out of place. Probably should have since we were going through what we were going through, but it didn’t.
I moved over a little and pressed my lips against her warm forehead, kissing her. She didn’t move. I wanted to kiss her again. Wanted to let my lips linger a bit. But I chose not to. I didn’t want to disturb her. Didn’t want her to wake up in a fucked-up mood because I’d decided to put my lips on her. Instead, I got out of bed and went to get the day started for her.
I first went to check on Honesty. She was up as usual, dressed, messing with her hair. After that, I got Spark up and went over to Aubry’s room.
She sat up on her elbows, rubbing her eyes. “Good morning, dad,” she spoke.
“Morning,” I said, as I was getting ready to close the door.
Before I could, she stopped me. “Wait. Can you come back for a second?”
