“Really,” I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets.
I couldn’t look at her. I was disgusted with myself. I fucked up. I fucked up royally. I wasn’t supposed to fuck with her. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I was supposed to be at the house. Fuck was I doing, man?
A couple of seconds later, Tank snatched the bedroom door open, eyed me and Talia up and down and said, “Fuck you doin still here?”
Talia sucked her teeth. “I—I was too drunk to drive. I slept in Gigi’s room on the floor. He woke me up… banging on the door.”
Tank squinted and handed me the keys. “You smooth?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll hit you up tomorrow.”
With that, I headed out of the crib, without uttering another word to Tali.
I got in the whip and tossed my head back against the headrest. It was late. Close to five in the morning. In a minute, Mahogany would be up, getting ready to get the kids up. I closed my eyes and thought about her. Thought about what she would be doing in a couple of minutes. She’d make her tea and while it cooled, she’d wake them up one by one. And then she’d grab her tea, go out on the balcony and sip on it while the sun came up.
I wanted to go back to the crib. I wanted to see her. Wanted to sneak up on her while she sat there, obliviously beautiful as hell in her element. But… I opened my eyes and looked down at myself. I had another bitch on me.Allover me. I could still smell Talia’s cheap ass Bath and Body Works on me. And my dick... Itwas covered in her pussy juice. Fuck type of nigga would I be? Showing up now?
I sighed, hit the start button on the car, and pulled off in the direction of the hotel.
9
CRESCENT
“How she doin’today?” I asked pops, with my phone pressed against my ear, as I moved around the kitchen.
It was a mess. Hadn’t cleaned up in a nice minute. Needed to get the cleaners back over at the crib, but I hadn’t been in the mood for company. I didn’t trust them to be in my house while I was away. Didn’t feel like cleaning though so I needed to find a good midpoint. Luna. She’d enjoy it. It’d give her something to do.
“Good. Sleeping mostly,” he said before clearing his throat. “Listen, I need you to come to the house before you get to handling your business. That’s why I called.”
“For what?” I asked with the corner of my top lip curled up.
I knew what for. He wanted me to come by to talk about arrangements for ma.
She was sleeping a lot and had been since the hospital stay. Sleeping a lot meant she was tired. And if she was tired… I didn’t like to think about it. For damn sure didn’t like to talk about it. What God was doing. What God had done. Taking someone special from me. Again. Shit ate at me viciously. Damn near drove me to the bottle, for real. I hadn’t wanted to drown in mysorrows in a minute. It was a vice I didn’t want to be driven back to. However, with every day that passed with moms doing worse than the day before, I felt myself slipping. Because the weight of what I was dealing with was heavy enough I hadn’t even been down to sit with Nova.
Couldn’t.
Between moms and grief, a nigga was fucked up, and I didn’t want to get to that point of feeling hopeless which shit, I really was. I talked to her doctor. Asked if switching care teams would help. Already went down that route, figured, shit it wouldn’t hurt to ask again. She was honest. Said moms was at the backend of her illness and that it was a blessing that she’d held up so long. That fucked with me tough. It hadn’t even been that long since her party. Then she was vibrant, smiling, full of energy, walking on her own, dancing and shit. Fucked with me a lot how that could change so quick. But then I was reminded… one second my daughter was breathing, the next, she wasn’t. So shit, anything could happen. Literally. In a New York minute.
“You know what for,” Pops responded.
I sighed and roughly ran my hand over the top of my head. “And it gotta be me? Lu can’t handle it?”
“Lu can’t handle it because Lu can’t handle it. Don’t even mention O to me, Cres.” He paused. “It's gotta be you.”
“Because I can handle it?” I asked with a snort.
“Because you can handle it,” he stressed.
HethoughtI could handle it. I would handle it because I wouldn’t have a choice. They looked to me. All of them did. Didn’t matter what the situation was, I was the one sought after. The pilar, right up under pops. Should’ve been Lu. Could’ve been O. I was the youngest remember? Didn’t give a fuck that we were born the same day… there should’ve been some sort of unwritten rule. Something that said we went in order. That wasn’t how lifewas though. Not for us. For as long as I could remember, things were this way.
With my free arm crossed over my chest, I looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed. “Give me a couple hours.”
With that, we hung up and I went back to cleaning. While I was cleaning, a call from Nina came through.
“Hey, you busy?” Nina asked.
I shook my head as if she could see me. “Nah, not for real. What’s good?”
