“Look at you,” said Tali, plopping down next to me on the couch.
Where the fuck she come from and where Cecil go?
Lazily, I opened my eyes and looked over at her. With a snort, I said, “Look atyou. Fuck?”
She giggled and turned to face me, pulling her legs up on the couch. “Look at me. Ain’t nowhere near as fucked up as you. I can’t believe it. Ducati Morris, drunk and high.”
I didn’t say anything. I turned away from her and closed my eyes again. I felt her move closer, but I didn’t say anything. A second later, I felt her lift one of my eyelids.
“Helloooo,” she sang.
I moved away. Sucking my teeth, I opened my eyes and looked over at her. “Stop playin. Why you fuckin’ with my eyes and shit?”
“Because I’m trying to talk to you but you falling asleep.”
“I’m not falling asleep. I’m coolin.”
“Mmhmm,” she paused. “Did you eat any of the spaghetti Char made?”
I sucked my teeth. “Hell naw. She be putting too much sugar in her shit.”
She laughed. “Facts. I can go grab you something from Coney if you want. I know you’re hungry. You’ve been here for hours off no food, just drink. That’s probably why you so fucked up.”
“I’m straight,” I dismissed. “I’m about to skate in a minute.”
“Mm, mm,” She hummed. “You’re not leaving. Tank grabbed your keys off the table already. And you need to eat… so I’m about to grab you something. You still eat wing dings and chili cheese fries like you used to?”
I looked over at her. “Hell yeah. I’m good though, Tali. You don’t have to grab me shit. I’m about to grab my keys from that nigga and… and get the fuck on. I’ll grab food on the way to the room.”
“Room?”
Fuck. I didn’t want muthafuckas to know I was staying at a room. I slipped. I needed people to think shit was smooth. Ididn’t want these niggas in my business. I especially didn’t want Talia’s ass to know. She would run to Char, running her mouth, who would then tell my business to Tank. Had I been in my right mind, I would have never slipped like that.
I dragged my hands down my face. “Nah… Uh..”
“You staying at a room? Uh oh. It’s trouble in paradise huh? You ain’t gotta lie. I know a hurt nigga when I see one. You definitely not leaving now?—
“Don’t tell them niggas my business, Tali.”
“I’m not. But I am grabbing you something to eat. I’ll be right back,” she said before getting up.
I don’t know how long I was sitting there with my eyes closed before I was being shaken awake. The smell of chili cheese fries immediately hit my nostrils, and I peeled my eyes open. Tali was setting the food up on the coffee table, leaned over, opening trays.
She looked over her shoulder at me. “And you said you weren’t falling asleep. Here. I grabbed you a Gatorade too because yo ass gone be dehydrated.”
I sighed and sat up. Running my hand down over my head, I looked over at her. “‘Preciate it, Tali. On some real shit, you really didn’t have to.”
“Stop saying that,” she said, playfully hitting me. “You know I got you. Name a time you was here and I didn’t have your back.”
She twisted her lips up, waiting for me to say something. But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t. Any time I was at Tank’s house, Tali was on my ass, always offering a helping hand, trying to fix me plates and drinks and shit. I never really took her up on her offers though because I knew what type of time she was on. Tali wanted me to fuck. And she wanted me to fuck real bad. She wasn’t blatant with offering the pussy, but I was a nigga and could pick up on the signs with ease. I steered clear of her fine, thick ass on purpose. Like I said before, I would never fuck withanybody in our circle. Fuck I look like? Making my wife look bad?
She reached over and grabbed the Gatorade, opening it. “Here. Drink some of this first?—
“I’m smooth, Tali. I’m a grown ass man,” I joked, moving away from the bottle, as I sat back against the couch, with a wing in my hand.
I bit into it and closed my eyes, resting my head on the back of the couch. I didn’t want no fuckin’ Gatorade. I wanted another shot of whatever the fuck I’d been drinking tonight. I didn't know what the fuck them niggas were pouring up. When I ran out of my Don, I had my cup out for whatever they were sipping on. Knowing them, it was probably Espolon. I didn’t give a fuck for real. I just wanted to be numb. I just wanted to feel something other than what I felt, and the drink did a good ass job helping me with that.
Every now and then, my mind wandered though and I thought about my current situation. Thought about missing my wife and wanting to fix shit. That was why I needed my keys, for real. Was going to pull up at the crib and get her to listen to me. I’d been trying for days. Sent her a crazy amount of text messages. Long ass paragraphs too. Trying to get her to understand the situation. She didn’t respond though. Left me on read every single fuckin’ time. You know how that felt? Not being heard? Not being given a fuck about? Being left out here in the fuckin’ wilderness without her? Shit felt empty. Shit felt lonely.
