“Don’tgirlme,” I snapped a little. “You just don’t get it. Remember… this is new, Si.”
“You right, you right. I’m sorry,” she said before placing her hand on my shoulder. “Look at it like this… You were going to move on eventually someday, right? This is just a Band-Aidyou’re going to have to rip off. Delaying it won’t hurt nobody but you.”
She was right. I spent many years—hell, my whole life really—considering everyone’s feelings but my own. It was time to put an end to that. There was no turning back. I was dressed and on my way out of the door. I couldn’t let my kids showing up stop that. Who was I kidding? It wasn’tjustabout the kids. It was about him too. Now, I didn't give a damn about Duke. He could do whatever he wanted to do, to whoever and I wouldn’t bat a damn eyelash. It was just… a little awkward. My ex-husband seeing me on my way out on a date. When the kids asked where I was going what was I supposed to say? I couldn’t say I was going with Sienna. She was here but her ass had on leggings, one of her Utopia sweatshirts and a pair of gym shoes. She didn’t look like she was going out, at all. The days of me lying about where I was going were over though. I was living authentically in my truth. Lying and hiding didn’t fit into my life anymore.
“Mommy!” Yelled Sparkle before I heard her running for the stairs.
I swallowed and took a deep breath before nodding.I had to rip the Band-Aid off.I continued down the stairs and caught her at the bottom. She threw her arms around me and showered me with kisses.
“Hi mommy! I missed you!” She yelled, jumping on me.
I grunted, picked her up and propped her up on my hip. “I missed you too, baby. You had fun?”
“Yessss! We went to Urban Air and the movies!” She excitedly told me, before playing with my gold, hoop earrings. “Hi Tee-Tee!”
“Hey boo. You had fun, huh?” Sienna asked, as we continued through the hallway, heading towards the kitchen where everyone else was.
Although I was ready to rip the Band-Aid off, my heart raced. Sparkle didn’t ask where I was going, but the other three for sure would. I could just see it now, there little eyes sweeping over mommy’s sexy outfit, face full of confusion. If the outfit wasn’t a clear giveaway my makeup, hair and jewelry sure would be.God, Mahogany, relax. You’re going on a damn date. It’s not like you’re on your way to the courthouse to get married.With another deep breath, I turned the corner into the kitchen. As soon as I did, Duke’s eyes swept over me. The other kids were so busy rummaging through their overnight bags, and the refrigerator that they didn’t even notice me walk into the kitchen.
“Hey,” Duke said, his voice a little choked up.
I smiled. “Hey.”
With his eyes steady on me, he spoke to Sienna. It was awkward as hell. He knew I was about to go out on a date. I could feel it in the way he looked at me. Initially his eyebrows were raised, caught off guard by my appearance and then they furrowed and he uncomfortably looked away.
“Ma—” said Honesty, turning around. She was caught off guard by my clothes too. With dipped brows, she continued. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you baby,” I said with a smile, before tickling Sparkle who went into a fit of laughter.
“Okay, period,” said Aubry, looking up from her bag. She tapped her index finger against her thumb. “Where you about to go? Hey Tee-Tee.”
“Hey girl, hey,” said Sienna.
My mouth went dry a little dry. Instead of immediately answering her, I turned and started to shower Sparkle with kisses as a distraction.
“Hey ma. You about to go?” Gabe asked, his voice deeper than I remembered. “It's cold out there.”
“Yeah, I know. I have a jacket. And yes… I’m about to go,” I said with a deep breath, putting Sparkle down. As I maneuvered around the kitchen, helping them unpack their overnight bags, I felt Duke’s eyes burning into me. “Here, put these clothes right in the washer. If there are clothes in the dryer, take them out and fold them, G.”
“Me? Why I gotta fold them?” He pouted.
“Because she said so,” Duke butted in.
He snaked his head with another pout but took his clothes into the laundry room to put them in the washer. I looked over at Duke and as expected he was watching me. Lovingly. Longingly. Painfully. He pulled his lips into his mouth and washed his eyes over me again. I ran my fingers through my locs and looked away.
“Where you going ma?” Honesty asked. “With Auntie SiSi?”
I must’ve taken too long to respond because Sienna looked at me, rubbed her lips together and said, “Umm, Ye?—
Before Sienna could say I was going with her, I cut her off. “No, I’m not going with Tee-Tee. I’m going out for a couple of hours. I should be back before bedtime. If not, y’all know what time to be in bed.”
Aubry drew back with raised brows.
Honesty’s brows dipped.
And Duke took a deep breath. He then grabbed his keys and yelled for Gabe, following him to the laundry room, telling him he was about to go.
“Okaaaay,” Aubry said with a smile. “Don’t stay out too late, now.”
