When we walked into the courtroom, we even sat next to each other. I stared straight ahead, watching the front of the courtroom waiting for our case to be called.
My mind began to swim with thoughts of the past and on cue, my emotions began to get the best of me. When I said I do to him, I didn’t think there would ever be a time when ‘I didn’t’. Divorce was never the goal. Duke and I were supposed to live happily ever after. Starting over at this point in my life wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. But it was something I had to do, and I’d reached a point of acceptance with that. Still… sitting next to him, getting ready to end it all was pretty bittersweet. I might’ve been at peace with what was happening, but I was human with human emotions, and this was never supposed to happen. He was supposed to honor and respect me. But… again, we were here and it was what it was.
After sitting for about twenty minutes, our case was called. We stood and approached the stand. Duke’s shoulders were slumped over the entire time the judge spoke. I stood the way I always stood—with my shoulders pulled back, head high, confidence on one hundred. And when she asked if reconciliation was possible, I confidently told her no. From the corner of my eye, I saw Duke’s head drop.
Court didn’t last but about fifteen minutes. At the end when she gave me instructions on how to change my name, a chill ran down my spine. I was becoming Mahogany Mills again. Officially. My heart raced with both anticipation and excitement for what it meant to reclaim my independence.
Before we walked out of the courthouse, Duke stopped me.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked.
I nodded and tucked the folder underneath my arm. “Yeah.”
He looked down before looking back up at me. “I’ve apologized a thousand times already, so I won’t do that. I just… I want to thank you, Mahogany.”
“Thank me for what?” I asked with dipped brows.
“For everything. Mainly the most important and happiest years of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how muchyou meant to me, for real. You… you and the kids meant—shit mean—the world to me. Still, to this day, given everything we’ve been through.” He looked down again. “Thank you for almost twenty years, Mahogany. Thank you for your constant loyalty. I look past what you did because shit… I pushed you there. You could’ve stepped out on me years ago, but you didn’t. You continued to give me your heart and unconditional love. For years I tripped about the way you responded to the pain I caused you, but I had no right to. It took me a minute to reach this point of acceptance. You deserve this and me… I deserve this too. I don’t hate you for choosing you Mahogany, I hate myself for pushing you to a point where you had to.”
I was a little lost for words. Really, truly did not know what to say. I was quiet, just looking up at him with teary eyes. He then stepped forward with opened arms, asking for a hug. I swallowed my tears, nodded, and allowed him to hug me. He exhaled when my arms wrapped around him and well… I did too. When I exhaled, the tears I swallowed came up and I cried. It was truly the end of an era. No more Mahogany and Duke.
Wow.
The restof the week flew by. Before I knew it, it was Saturday evening and I was getting ready for Crescent company party. All day, my stomach was filled with butterflies, anticipating seeing him. So much so that on top of the mimosas from brunch with the girls earlier, I had me a glass of wine.
“I can’t believeyou’rehaving a hard time picking a dress,” Sienna said, sitting her wine glass on the dresser, standing. “It’s a company party, right?”
“Yeah but… you know.”
She smirked. “Yeah, I know. I know very well.”
Shew knew about Crescent and I. Shit, all of them knew. Her, Hazel and Naoki. During one of our monthly Zoom Ladies Nights, I told them all about Crescent and about how our first encounter was at Pandora’s. Hazel thought I should tell him, SiSi and KiKi yelled in unison about not telling him. As if they needed to tell me anything. I wasn’t uttering a single word to Crescent about Pandora’s. I was perfectly fine with him assuming we met first at the meeting. Pandora’s was a chapter of my life that I wanted to keep tucked. Imagine having that conversation with him? Imagine him asking if I’d ever seen Judah there. Do you know how uncomfortable that conversation would be? Nah, I was good. There were some things I was literally taking to the grave and Pandora’s was at the top of the list. And you know what? That was perfectly fine.
“You do not want to wear that damn dress to that party,” Naoki said with her face twisted up. “That don’t even look like you. Why do you own it?”
Kiki was in town. We were supposed to have ladies night at the house tonight since the kids were gone but since I had Crescent’s party to go to, we did brunch instead. And after going to Home Goods, Ulta, and TJ Maxx, we came back to the house to find me something to wear. Which, for me, was out of the norm. I could dress my ass off, but this party had me in my head, so I needed a little bit of help.
I picked it up and looked at it. “I bought it for one of my old clients’ funerals?—
“Well, why in thehellllare you trying to wear it to a company party thrown bythat man? NeNe, you trippin,” Hazel added, with her face in her phone.
“Pick a Pandora’s fit,” Sienna said. She snapped her fingers. “Oooh! Do you still have the dress you wore the night y’all first met?”
I sucked my teeth. “Yes, I still have it. I am not wearing it. What if it’s familiar and he realizes I’m the woman he saved from that funky ass couple?”
“So? Girl… That shit is cute as hell,” Hazel said. “The way y’all met all of those years ago and then reconnected. I say wear the dress.”
“No. I’m not wearing it,” I said. “I probably can’t fit it anymore anyway. I gained a couple of pounds.”
“Mmmhmm. Yo ass just scared,” Naoki said with her lips twisted up.
“Why y’all bitches campaigning for me to wear that damn dress? Y’all both told me not to tell him.”
Sienna shrugged. “I just think it would be cute. Plus, you know how many of those dresses were made? And it was how many years ago? You remember what he had on?”
On my way back over to the closet, I looked over my shoulder at Sienna. “Yes, I remember what he had on. A dark grey Armani suit. I remember everything about that night. The way he smelled too. He still smells the same.”
“Damn,” mumbled Naoki before picking her glass of Caymus up.
