I press my lips together. “And why did you lie to me?” I snap.
His narrow blue eyes become slits, and silence stretches between us.
With a sigh, he glares up at the ceiling. “You lied first, Saya. You told me you weren’t going to listen to fuckingEmily—and I doubt your plan to see where Bianca went was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Emily isalwayspushy with you. She would have wanted to know if you were going to find Bianca before you came to visit me.”
“And I did.”
He shakes his head. “Why’d you lie to me?”
“I knew you would get mad.”
“Not mad.Worried.”
“And mad.”
A twitch of a smile curves across his face. “A little. But mostly worried.” He takes my hands in his, thumbs brushing the backs of them. “What if a Bleeder had spotted you? They’d have sent you straight to the private room.”
“I’m always careful, more careful than Emily. You know she would’ve given it a go if I hadn’t, and that would have completely stopped our run.”
Blue eyes drop to half slits. “But that wasn’t why you went.”
My fingers curl around his when I say, “No. It wasn’t.”
He takes a deep breath as if to gather the courage to let go of his frustration. “And what did you see?”
“They were transporting Bianca to the Padbury settlement, just across the border. Manni thought it was weird.”
Jax nods. “Yeah, I guess it is. But it’s not surprising.” He leans in closer. “How do they keep us beneath them? By controlling the pregnant women. Keeping the cycle going. Keep us alive to bleed us dry.”
“That’s what I thought. Except earlier, you mentioned they take children to nightwalkers to raise.”
“It was just a thought.” Jax sighs sharply as he lets goof my hands and reaches for my hips. Pulling me into him, he falls back on his bed, and I rest against his chest. “What did I lie about?”
With my legs on either side of him, I push myself up and glare down at him, but my threatening look doesn’t hold any weight because Jax is a strange man. The angrier I look, the more aroused he seems.
“Youhaveseen a nightwalker.”
Aside from me, of course. Not that he would know, thanks to my glamour. It was impossible at first, and I shiver at the memory of the countless times I knelt by the statue of our deity and thought of light.
Light to shun my nightwalker side. To snuff it out like a blast of air on a frail flame of darkness.
Strong, calloused hands drag up my thighs and grip my flesh, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to the present. “If I tell them I’ve seen one, fifty more questions would spill from Manni’s mouth, and she’s already suspicious of me since our last run.” He sits up, resting on his elbows. “I know you want your friends to come, so I’m doing everything I can to convince them to give this run a go.”
“And Julien.”
He grunts. “Why not just bring everyone?”
“Not Laura. I’d rather not have to hear her mating call again.”
He cocks his head to the side and blinks. “Are you calling Laura abird?”
I brush the words aside and move closer, shuffling down until I rest my head on his chest. Recognising I don’t want to talk, his hand laces through my hair, and hemurmurs his apologies for lying. I do the same. It’s easier to forgive than to let it fester.
My hand rests on his chest, against his heart. If I slipped through his skin, muscle, and bone, I could hold it in my hand. Jax traces a hand across mine, and he says, “You can have it. My heart.”
A declaration. My own heart stutters.
Before I get too caught up in his words, I withdraw my hand and ask, “What did you say to Cole the other day?”
