Yet that was the way of life, especially on the frontier. Friendships were based on exchange, on what you could give and receive. “I’d feel more comfortable,” I said, “if I repaid what was owed.”
“That’ll suit, if you prefer. But I’m not counting score.”
I tucked his coat up round my throat and nodded. But I was keeping score. Approaching friendships any other way felt foolish. Stot’s gaze roamed my face, seemingly untangling the contradictory pieces of me. His demeanor balanced between awareness of our perimeter and an uncanny ease, that liquid way he moved his body. His hat tipped forward, the crown’s classic cattleman crease grabbing firelight and shadow, his profile indistinct in the starlight, thick brows anchoring his face. Perhaps he honestly saw me, as he knew some of my darkness. There was no need for acting, no need to become strong or weak or whatever anyone else expected. I was just Minnie.
Chapter Eighteen
Abay mare lowered her head, swaying as she grazed. The clatter of footfalls broke the faint sound of her munching. I flopped onto my tummy, peered through the buffalo grass. Thad and Poppy rushed over, Poppy talking rapidly and gasping with laughter as she asked me for advice on a prank. Thad shoved his hands below his armpits, studied Stot. I told them about stealing my neighbor’s clothes last Yuletide. Poppy clapped, and then they raced off to chase mischief. A year ago, I’d led the high jinks myself. Now I wanted to sit and watch shadows. How had I been so effervescent, so young, just seasons before?
“Thaddaeus, wait,” Stot called.
Thad halted, and Poppy slammed into him. They walked back, Thad looking over his shoulder.
“Heard your pa say—” Stot said. “I can help you with roping and sharpshooting.”
“What now?” Poppy said, flabbergasted.
Stot brushed off his trousers, made to stand. “Forget it. It was a poor notion.”
Thad shook his head, eyes wide. “I’d be honored, Mr. Lawman. Honored.”
Stot’s face moved into something like an untried grin, a flash of teeth more feral than welcoming.
“Sure enough,” Thad said. “Just come round whenever. Ma will bake pie.”
Thad backed away, Poppy pulling him by the elbow. The moment stretched. Olive seemed wary of Stot, but when all sum was weighed, pioneers welcomed anyone into their home, renegade or not.
“What was that?”
“Heard of his notion to join a cattle drive,” Stot said. “Know you offered to help him with riding, thought I could share some of my skills as well.”
“You ranched before?” I asked. “Along with that mysterious doctoring.”
A crinkle at his eyes. “Perhaps.”
I rolled my tongue around in my mouth, the taste of watermelon lingering. “What else?”
“Surveyor. Railroads. Farmed,” he said. “Everything, Minnie.”
“And now cowboy trainer for farm boys,” I said. “You’re doing an awful job, keeping up that reputation of yours.”
“I know your secrets, but you don’t know what I’ve done.” The undertone of his voice was gravelly and haunting.
A preternatural chill crept up my nape. If he spoke of his past in that tone, then it must be full of atrocities. I held his gaze. “You murder a woman and her baby, as folks say?”
He didn’t seem to move, the night sky darkening beyond. “I’m wanted for the crime.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Answer don’t matter—either way, I’m all-nation unsafe.” He pocketed his matches and cigarette case. “I shouldn’t be round you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I pinched his sleeve above his paper cuff. Distantly, the banjo twisted an elegiac melody, the string picks tiptoeing down my spine. “Don’t go.”
His shoulders tense, body tipped forward to stand. “It wasn’t considerate of me to make a habit of publicly socializing with you.”
“So just alone on our homesteads.” I released his sleeve. “That seems proper.”
“Minnie.” He sighed, his tone somewhere between exasperated and resigned. “I didn’t recognize that in befriending you, I entwined you with my reputation.”
