Maybe karma is making me pay for the nightmare dates I forced him to go on.
At a certain point, Intemerata strides away, piquing my curiosity: What happened?
“Elisa?” Elmo demands my attention.
“Huh?”
“So?”
“So, what?”
“I asked how things are going with your daughter.”
“Well, Linda’s a really good kid, and she studies a lot. She’s learning Latin now—”
“Whoa! Did I tell you we also offer funeral services in Latin? It’s coming back in style ...” The self-congratulatoryblah blah blahcontinues. He only stops to greet the deputy mayor. “Mrs. Melli, how are you? You look so wonderful! Does your son still play the piano? If I recall correctly, he’s a little Mozart!”
Elmo is so slimy. He sucks up to anyone with money or power, without worrying about appearing false or pandering.
“Sorry for the interruption, Elisa. It’s public relations,” he says, turning to me again after the deputy mayor leaves. “By the way, I was thinking that my agency could use some new staff. We’re expanding, and I need someone I can trust as a partner ...” He takes my hand in his, with a soft, moist grip. “And not just at work.”
Oh God. “Elmo ...” I stammer.
“I have a gorgeous house in Versilia. It’s not seafront—it’s closer to the highway exit—but the shore is only a few miles away. You should come and see it. How about next weekend? Of course, I have to beavailable for work twenty-four hours a day, but I hardly ever get a call at night.” The wink he adds at the end of the sentence sends chills down my spine.
“My goodness, it’s late!” I exclaim, jumping up. “I have to ... I have to ...” I need an excuse and quickly. “I have to go to the pharmacy before it closes.”
Elmo frowns. “Can’t you go tomorrow?”
“No!” I exclaim. “It’s for ... something a little intimate,” I whisper. The discomfort on his face confirms I chose the right tactic. I could go further ... “I have this annoying itch. I hope it’s not herpes.”
At the wordherpes, Elmo retreats a foot, as if even our proximity might expose him. Come to think of it ...
“Sorry, Elmo. I’m mortified to have to interrupt the evening like this.”
“Of course, in fact, I just remembered I also have to run to ... to ...” He rushes to the register where he pays at lightning speed, ignoring my offer to split the bill so as not to stay a second longer than necessary.
Unfortunately, I rejoice too soon. He must have realized that perhaps he was too explicitly disgusted, so he pauses in the doorway of the bakery and turns to me again. “I’ll walk you to the pharmacy,” he insists.
“It’s okay.”
“No, I’m happy to come,” he reiterates, even though his tone betrays him.
We go out, and he puts his hand on my lower back, a demonstrative gesture I’m sure is aimed at showing everyone what a gentleman he is, but in reality he barely touches me, as if I were radioactive.
We say goodbye with a generic “See you soon” and, to my relief and his disappointment, I enter the pharmacy. I don’t need anything, but while I’m here I can’t leave empty-handed. I start wandering aimlessly among shelves and displays, enjoying the air-conditioning.
“Was I seeing things or did I just witness you on a romantic date?” Michael surprises me from behind, making me jump.
“Michael! Are you trying to kill me?” I exclaim, my heart in full fibrillation.
“No, I wish you a long and prosperous life. But you didn’t answer my question,” he insists with that mocking half smile.
“Are you really that interested?” I ask, crossing my arms.
“Now that you’re being so mysterious, very much so.”
I could tell him the truth, but his surprised tone irks me. Furthermore, it’s both scandalous and immoral that he manages to look like he stepped out of a high-fashion catalog even while wearing clothes bought at the store known to sell clothes that don’t suit anyone. They sell garments to cover oneself, not to dress oneself, and my outfit is a good example of this: a little girl’s flowery dress. I probably wore something similar to my first communion ... So, instead of explaining to him that Elmo Colli was foisted on me by Mamma, I take up his challenge. “I know the most I have going for me is my personality, but it just so happens that someone else likes it. You’re not the only one in line, my dear.”
