When she enters the study, I don’t take my eyes off the papers.
“Am I interrupting business?” She asks cheerfully, while closing the door behind her with a slight thud.
“What do you need?” My tone is cold and detached.
“I stopped by to give your jacket back,” she answers, swinging a hanger with my jacket wrapped up in cellophane. “Last night, in the chaos, you left before I could return it.”
“You could have left it with Lance.”
“I took the opportunity to say hello and thank you for your chivalry.”
“I see that your ankle is much better.” I can’t help but notice that she’s walking without any problems, and she’s even wearing high heels.
“Ice works wonders,” she replies, most naturally. “And how is your wife? Is she okay?”
“She’s already left the house under her own steam, so I’d say she is. It takes more than fainting, to keep her down.”
Portia comes round to my side of the desk to poke her nose into my stuff. “Property management must be rather boring … if you want, I can get my father to assist you. He’s a very capable financial adviser.”
I close the folder with a sharp movement. “Portia, your game is starting to annoy me, and I don’t like it.”
“What game?” She asks, naively.
“This! You come here, look for me, talk to me with any excuse. What are you doing, what’s your objective?”
“You know, if you were really as in love as you say, you wouldn’t be afraid of what you call ‘my game’… if you are, then I must assume that a part of you is tempted to give in.”
“Give in to what? What are you talking about?”
“About me, about us. I’ve always believed that our story wasn’t totally over, and I’m even more sure, after last night. Jemma is a temporary interlude, but I was here before her, and Ialwayswill be.”
“This is not true, and do you know why? I’ll tell you a secret about us men: if we really value something, we don’t let go of it. If I ever wanted you to become my wife, I wouldn’t have hesitated to ask you.”
Portia doesn’t look shaken by my words.
“I’ll tell you something about you men: you don’t know what you want. You never do. But I’m patient. In the end, you’ll get tired of Jemma and you’ll miss what we had.”
“We never had anything, Portia.”
“Let me refresh your memory.” She says, then she bends over to kiss me.
I’ve never thought that I would find a woman revolting, yet that’s how I feel now: I’m disgusted. I pull away abruptly. “You’re crazy. The idea of marrying you never even crossed my mind back then, and it never will.”
As she picks up her bag and shoots me a grim look, I notice with horror that the door of the study is open.
81
Jemma’s Version
She’s kissing him.
She’s kissing him!
Portia’s hands are clinging to his shoulders and her lips are on his.
I’m short of breath again, the same way I was last night, when I saw them on the terrace.
As I walk away, my heart starts pounding faster and faster. A part of me, which I didn’t even know was there, is holding the reins of my melodramatic side: in the past, I would have stormed into the room screaming and throwing the first things to hand. Now, there’s something inside me which is looking for a warm blanket to wrap myself up in after this cold shower, or a piece of chocolate after this bitter pill. I’m not angry, maybe I will be later, or maybe I’ll never be. I have no desire for revenge or violence.
