Derek raises his hands in surrender. “Now that everything is solved, why not!” A victorious smile appears on his face. “Yes, I know, every time I called you, it was to give you unpleasant news or propose bizarre agreements, but there is no need to be embarrassed, this time. Take it as an opportunity for a fresh start!”
I don’t dare look at Ashford. I really wish I could look straight in his eyes and read what he thinks, but I don’t have the courage.
“I’m sure it’s good news for you, that’s why I’ve worked hard to make the procedure as fast as possible, and I’m already drafting your divorce papers. The sooner you go back to your own lives the better, right?”
“Um… I guess so,” I comment without enthusiasm.
“It’s really… amazing.” Ashford’s tone isn’t that excited, either.
Here’s the truth: this came as a cold shower.
We were so immersed in our ‘honeymoon’ that we had completely forgotten about the expiry date of our marriage, and this divorce thing has just hit me like a runaway train.
I know I should be jumping for joy, but that’s not how I feel. If I think about divorcing Ashford, a voice in my head shouts: ‘No, please, no’.
It didn’t start as a love story, we got married for convenience and we lived together under protest, but then something changed.Wehave changed, and now I can’t think of myself without him. I just don’t want to.
“Obviously, I’ll do everything to keep this from going public, this time.”
Ashford nods inexpressively. “Sure.”
Oh my God, is he okay with this? I’m in panic, I can’t swallow.
“Jemma, do you have anything to say?” Derek asks me.
I shake my head, my mouth is too dry to answer.
“Well, I’ll tell Jane to proceed with your file, then. You can’t even imagine how relieved I am for having solved your situation!”
“Derek, I think I can speak for both of us if I say that this news took us by surprise. We were not ready for it, and I’m sure you understand that, given that we expected it to last longer, we both arranged our lives to make them work at best. Perhaps, we need some time to implement this solution.”
Why am I terrified at every word I hear him say?
“What I’m saying, Derek, is that I really appreciate that you’ve been working to fix this mess, but forgive us if we don’t answer on the spot.”
Derek looks disorientated, but he tries to hide it. “Sure, of course! Jemma will need time to move to a property of her own, and you will also have some social commitments to attend… it’s most natural. It was my duty to inform you, but, in any case, I won’t proceed until I have official confirmation from you. I’ll wait for your instructions, even if I’m sure it won’t be a long wait.”
When we leave the office, I can barely wait for the lift doors to close before my eyes fill with tears. I turn my back to Ashford, because I don’t want him to see me. I don’t want him to think I’m sorry.
“I don’t know what to say,” are Ashford’s first words.
“Don’t say anything, then.” I reply, trying to keep my voice from breaking, in order to sound as cold as possible.
As soon as the lift gets to the ground floor, we storm out. I walk fast and Ashford keeps up with me.
“It’s over, then.” I say.
“So it seems.”
“This is what we wanted, isn’t it?” I try to sound somewhat convinced, but I’m as expressive as a food processor.
“Since day one.”
“And we’ve never thought about changing our minds,” I say, lacking conviction.
“Absolutely not.”
“Good.”
