“Yeah, in my heart I know, but I grew up with a lot of conflicted feelings about my brother and hockey. Then out of the blue, I was suddenly responsible for him.”
“He was an adult when they died, Mads.” I remind her gently, because I can tell she’s deep in her feelings right now.
“He was a college kid who had no idea how to handle life because my parents handled everything, and then they were gone. I knew he was on his way to getting drafted. I wasn’t going to let him miss an opportunity like that just because my parents were irresponsible idiots.”
“I’m not sure they were idiots. Didn’t they get hit by a drunk driver?”
“Hah! Yeah, no. Everyone involved was drunk. The other guy was three sheets to the wind, too. It was so fucked up. It’s not something that I bandied about. I know Walker and I haven’t talked about it much but they did that a lot. Going out, drinking, then driving home.”
“Wow, Shit. Now I get why you and Walker are so adamant about Ubering. I knew it had to do with the accident but I had no idea about the rest. Oh, Mads. That sucks. I’m so sorry.”
“I would to get so furious at them, but it never mattered. My feelings never mattered to them. Not once.” The last bit comes out so softly, as if she’s afraid to say it out loud. To make it real. It tears me up inside.
I pull her toward me, because there is absolutely no way I can’t have her in my arms right now. She comes easily, holding me tight, like I’m her lifeline. It’s everything I want.
Please let me in, Mads. Give me a chance to give you everything you need.
“I care about how you feel, Mads. So very much.” I tell her running my thumb down the velvety softness of her cheek. The tears she’s holding back glitter in the corners of those gorgeous green eyes, and I want to kiss the hurt away so badly I ache with it. I know there’s nothing to fix, but I would move heaven and earth to make it go away. I can’t stand to see my girl hurting like this, but all I can do for now is hold her close.
Ace whines, and we both turn to look his way. Our lips are inches apart. I can feel the heat of her breath against my cheek, and when she bites her plump lower lip, my self-discipline shatters. I brush my lips across hers, gently, seeking permission to go further. Unsure of my reception. Instead, she moves forward to meet me. Her lips are soft, her breath hot as she opens her mouth and lets me in and I don’t hold back. Not anymore.
I dive into her mouth like a starving man. Caressing her tongue with mine, softly at first.
She meets me with a fiery intensity that is unexpected but so very welcome. My hand fists her hair as I pull us impossibly closer, ravaging her mouth as if I could climb inside her though my tongue. It’s everything I imagined it would be and more. Her wildflower smell. The heat of her body against mine. The feel of her plush lips. I’m completely lost, and by the time I’m able to collect my thoughts, the kiss is ending and we’re gasping for breath.
We stand, foreheads touching, recovering and breathless. If it were up to me, I’d never let her go. When she pulls away, I feel bereft, already missing the warmth of her hug and the taste of her lips. I watch her go, unsure of what to do, until I realize she’s clearing the table.
“I got it, Mads. You cooked dinner.” I say as I move to grab the dishes from her.
“We both did. I got it.”
“Sit, beautiful. Let me do this.” I say sternly.
She gives me a cute half-smile and sits. I plant a kiss on the top of her head before gathering the remains of dinner. I make quick work of the dishes, while she takes Ace outside to do his business. When everything’s done, we collapse onto the couch, sitting in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she places her hand on my forearm.
“Thanks for listening, Liam.” She tells me, her voice soft with gratitude and affection.
“At your service anytime Mads.” She obviously doesn’t know how much I mean that, but I’m starting to believe I’ll get the chance to show her.
I’m here anytime you need me, baby.
I guess we’re not going to talk about that kiss. At least not now. I am unlikely to forget it anytime soon though, and I hope she feels the same.
“Thanks for letting me vent. I’m finally reaching the point where I can talk about it without going into a rage. Just so you know, I’m really trying not to blowing up at Walker for things that just aren’t his fault. I mean, I was just as bad as my folks, doing everything for him. It’s not fair to be upset when I basically let it happen.”
I take her hand because I need to touch her while I say this.
“He does know, Mads. More than you think, but I get how it doesn’t look like that from your side.” It hurts to see them both at odds like this, especially knowing I have to let them work through it themselves.
“Yeah, I know I need to do better, because I can be harsh with him. Whether I like it or not, I’m still a product of my parents. Mom could be a pretty critical person. I don’t love thatI seem to channel her sometimes. I’ve been working hard on fixing it.”
“You know, you might not see it but he’s super critical of himself already. I see how hard he drives himself on the ice, even more so now that we’re roomies again. We’re on that ice early for afternoon practice and we stay later to work through whatever Walker thinks we screwed up during practice. He’s the hardest working guy in the gym every single day. His work ethic is crazy. I thought I was working hard until we started to work out together.”
Maddie looks sadly thoughtful. My heart gives a twist.
“I didn’t know that.” She says quietly, head bowed.
“Hey Mads, I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty.” I reach out, lifting her head with my finger, so I can see those pretty green eyes. “I said that so you’d know that he listens to you. He might not act like he cares but he does. So much. Yeah, he plays too many video games, and he’s messy as fuck, but he’s trying. I promise you.”
