“Look, I’ve been there and that kind of dynamic is hard to navigate. I rarely tell people this but my brother’s in the NFL. Plays for the Eagles. So, when I say I can relate, girl, I mean it.”
“Wow. I can’t believe I didn’t know that about you,” I say. She shrugs her shoulders.
“It gets old being known as a famous football player’s sister. Never as just Lila.”
“Oh my God, yes! That’s exactly it. Sometimes I feel like nothing I can do will ever be as spectacular as what he does. Which is ridiculous, right?”
“Not even a little.” She assures me. “Have you ever talked to him about it? Just the two of you?”
“Not really. Since my parents passed, we pretty much avoid all conversation about growing up. Or my parents. Or anything with emotions. Except anger. We seem to do anger just fine.” My face scrunches up as I think back to all the conversations Walker and I have had since our parent’s death.
“Meh, anger’s probably the safest for you both. Maybe think about it. It might help more than you think. I know that shit’s hard though.” Hearing her say all this, knowing that she understands where I’m at, validates my view of the situation. I can’t believe how nice it is to talk to someone who gets it.
“Gotta go, class in five, but think about it, Maddie. Might do you guys some good to talk it out.”
“Thanks, Lila.” I stand up so I can give her a hug. I appreciate this talk more than she knows. She hugs me back before heading off to her class.
She’s right. I do need to talk to Walker. I’m not ready for a full-on emotional conversation right now, but I do need to apologize. For both of us.
I should do it soon, too, because pre-season training is about to start, which means there won’t be much time for anythingexcept hockey. I pop in my headphones and dial up my brother before I can think twice.
“Maddie bear!” He answers after one ring.
“Little bro. How’s it going?” Unsure of where we stand right now, I take a neutral tone.
“We’re here. At your studio.” His voice has an echo, and I look over my shoulder. Sure enough, he and Liam are filling up my doorway. Walker’s holding an iced coffee in one hand and a bouquet of daisies in the other. Two of my favorite things. How did he know?
“Did you bring me flowers?”
“To say I’m sorry for being a butt head.” He looks sincere. For once, not making a joke out of everything. Liam nudges him, and he continues. “I’m sorry I said you were emotional and whatever else I said that made you upset.” It’s not fantastic, but it’s an apology, nonetheless. Not one to apologize easily, this is huge for my brother. I’m usually the one to approach him.
Behind him, Liam rolls his eyes. I have a hard time not laughing. It looks like I owe Liam a huge “thank you.” That’s new. I take the flowers and the drink. Sighing because this is such an improvement over the last time we fought.
“So, do you know why I was upset?” Sometimes with Walker, his apologies feel like lip service.
“Yeah. I know. It’s because I wasn’t supportive about your studio stuff and I said you were emotional. Liam says I can’t say that to women, even though you’re my sister, so you’re not like a real woman.”
I’m gratified to hear that he does understand, even if Liam had to point it out. I can settle for that. Walker gives me one of his lopsided grins, and I can’t help but smile back because at the end of the day, I do love him.
Liam’s eyes roll again, and he says, “Um, I didn’t say that last part.”
Of that, I am completely sure. That is 100 percent a Walker statement.
“Oh, I know, Liam.” I shoot him a quick smile. “But Walker, seriously, when you say things like ‘my little studio’ it feels like you’re diminishing something I’ve worked so hard to accomplish. I’m the one who put in the work? Me! I know it’s not some big NHL career, but it’s a big deal for me. I love you and I’ll always support you, but I need you to do the same for me. And that means that you don’t belittle what I’ve accomplished.”
He winces at that last bit, and it feels like maybe he’s finally heard me this time.
“Sorry, sis. I didn’t mean it like that at all.”
“I know and I need to apologize to you, too.” I admit, “Some things were said in anger that I shouldn’t have said. You’re not a man-child. Sure, you could be more responsible, which is what I should have said, instead of insulting you. I’m sorry.”
Walker’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open before it morphs into a brilliant smile. Okay, maybe we both need to be better at apologizing.
“Thanks for saying that, Maddie Bear.”
My heart warms, and my eyes sting. I change the subject before I start to cry.
“So, who do I really have to thank for the drink and the flowers?”
