A cool splash of someone’s tear crashed against my cheek. Maybe it was Hector who cried, or it could’ve been me. I was so distracted by the theory that I almost missed when Hector offered me a final parting plea.
“If that’s true, Arwyn Hopkin. If you love me… fight the pain and come back to me.”
42
HECTOR
“Ican’t do this anymore.” Frustration boiled over within me, heating my skin a thousand degrees hotter than possible. “And yet, at the same time, I can’t leave him. It’s not going to happen, and don’t try and convince me otherwise.”
A firm hand settled on my shoulder, nails pinching through my sweat-slick top. “It’s been almost three days and you haven’t moved from his side. No one is going to blame you for taking a little break. Hell, if Arwyn was conscious he’d scorn you for torturing yourself like this.”
I adored Romy’s attempt to instil some calm in me, or perhaps some clarity, but it didn’t work. Three days of her trying to convince me to take a break, 72 hours of arguing with me to get off the bedside chair and get fresh air.
I resisted her attempts because it was the only thing I could do with the little control I had left.
Leaning back in the armchair I’d pushed beside Arwyn’s bed, I drew back and fixed my exhausted eyes on her. “If that’s the case Arwyn can fucking wake up and tell me that himself, can’t he?”
Romy barely flinched at the bite in my tone. “No good is going to come from this. Not for Arwyn, andnotfor you. I don’t have another hour’s worth of patience either, Hector. I’m not leaving this room until you leave it first. Got it?”
“What do you suggest I do then?” I asked.
Romy was right. I needed a new focus. Something else that stopped me sitting beside Arwyn’s too-still body whilst I studied his mangled hands.
“Sleep. And I’m not talking about the few minutes you get here and there. I’m saying sleep, as in get some rest in a proper bed and don’t wake up until you’ve caught up on all the hours you’ve missed. And if that’s too hard for you, at least eat something substantial.”
Her eyes drifted to the number of plates of rotting food left on the floor beside me. I had no appetite, but that didn’t stop Romy and Kai from trying to get me to eat something. How could I explain to them that I didn’t feel worthy of putting food in my mouth, when Arwyn hadn’t eaten in three days either. I’d only managed to get spoonfuls of water in his mouth every now and then, just to make sure his body didn’t entirely shut down.
“I’m not?—”
“Please,” Romy said, taking careful steps towards the bed as if I was a wild wolf protecting their young. “Don’t finish that. Of course you are hungry, exhausted… in more ways than one. Hector, please just let me take over, just for a little while. I promise the second there is any change in Arwyn I will come and tell you…”
“I can’t, Romy.”
“Hector, youcan,” she snapped. “And you bloody will, at that. I’m serious. For anything, I need a focus too. I need something to do other than sitting downstairs and worrying about two of the closest people in my life.”
It hit me then and there just how selfish I’d been. Romy’s life had been turned upside down during The Confessing, and I’d barely spoken more than a few words to her since.
“I’ve been sat around contemplating everything, you know. Maybe I need a break from my own mind, and looking aftermycousin…” Romy’s emphasis on the title didn’t go amiss. “…is going to at least make me feel like I’m helping in some way.”
Remorse reared its ugly head once again. After the events during The Confessing, I had not managed a single conversation that didn’t relate to Arwyn, his broken and bent fingers, or how he was slowly fading away from me. Kai had barely shown his face, strategically staying away from me no doubt. I knew there was something I had to speak with him about, but I wouldn’t dare spark that conversation until Arwyn opened his eyes.
It was a promise I’d made to myself.
“Howareyou feeling?” I asked, the question honest and yet it felt like I had to force it out through a mouth full of sharp stones. “About everything.”
“Confused,” Romy said. “Angry… more than angry actually. Worried. Worried that my… Verena is out there, no doubt with Tomin, suffering whatever fate she has put herself in line with.”
“Tomin isn’t going to hurt her,” I said, confident in the matter. “Remember, he needs a witch to win.”
It was one of the most important confessions that had come out of the last trial. Tomin Hopkin couldn’t win the Witch Trials himself, because he wasn’t a witch. He needed Verena… someone he could control with fear, someone who would do anything he wanted to save those she loved.
Although I couldn’t believe Verena was going to be controlled by him anymore, not now that her truth was laid upon the table.
We’d all become pawns in a game. Whereas Romy was the queen. One wrong move, and this was over. But if we played the right move…
“I shouldn’t care about her,” Romy admitted, snatching me out of my thoughts. “But I can’t help it. I do.”
I reached up and laid my hand atop hers where it rested on my shoulder. “Of course you do. No one would blame you for feeling a type of way about Verena. Especially not after what you’ve found out.”
