Maybe the demon sensed the violence that was about to happen. Maybe he could see into my eyes and know what feast I was prepared to offer up. He didn’t refuse me. I didn’t even flinch as Bahmet threaded my fingers into the device, and took a step back.
“The floor is yours.”
“Arwyn,” Hector called out. I didn’t dare to look at him in case it took me off my path. But the allure of his voice, the way it could make me walk through fire until my body was nothing but charred bone, was enough for my head to turn.
“You know how to pass now,” Hector said, cheeks tracked with paths made from his tears. “Please. Say the words.”
I couldn’t lie to Hector. Nor could I lie to myself.
Romy had given me an out, a loophole, for this trial. But I’d made a vow to myself. I had pain to cause, and for that I needed to welcome the concept myself.
I swivelled in my seat, as much as the bindings allowed.
“Dad?” I said, feeling weightless for a moment as our eyes met. “My secret is that I never ever loved you.”
Crack. Bones shattered, flesh popped. Warm blood erupted from the skin where my bone had protruded through. The pain was overwhelming, but it gave me some clarity at least.
“Wrong, wrong, wrong,” Bahmet sang as his gloved hands moved the device to my next fingers. His fingers smeared the blood from my shattered finger, making a mess of my torn and ruined hand. “Are you ready to try again?”
“Arwyn, stop it!” Hector screamed, the sound like the shredding of knives through soft flesh. “Don’t!”
It was useless to beg me to stop. Hector knew I was going to do this.
I sucked in a breath, pushed the pain down and pretended it was one of my well-crafted illusions. “My secret is that I never respected you, Dad. Not once. Even as a kid, especially when I was a kid, I looked at you like the pathetic excuse for a man that you were.”
Crack. I tasted blood as I sunk my teeth into my lower lip, refusing to cry out. I wouldn’t show weakness in the face of the man who tortured me my entire life… nor the demon who feasted off such emotions.
“Arwyn!” Hector pleaded, voice breaking beneath the weight of my name and the pain it carried. “No.”
I shivered, my body wrecked with vicious tremblings. I lifted my head to Hector, eyes meeting, and spoke. “I have more… secrets to say…”
Because theseweresecrets, just not the one Bahmet wanted to hear. Somewhere beneath my suffering, I didn’t even know what it was that Bahmet wanted from me. I didn’t care either. This was my chance to hurt my father… to give him an ounce of what he deserved.
The device moved again. I hissed through clenched teeth, looking up at the ceiling until every one of my veins throbbed.
Somewhere to my right, I was vaguely aware that Hector was struggling to get out of his bindings. But the pain of my two broken fingers sang through my body, distracting me. Drowning me. I gave in to it and let it sweep me away in the ravine of suffering.
I existed now, in this realm of suffering, and for some reason, my motivation was enough for me to keep opening my mouth. I spat out my secrets like the lashing of blades, not once taking my eyes off the man who raised me.
“There was a time I thought I existed solely to please you… then I realised that my only purpose was never to make you proud. My purpose is to see you suffer.”
Crack. “Wrong again.”
The next was my greatest lie. Not a secret, there was no point sharing those now. I couldn’t think straight enough to make them up. I knew if I lied, Bahmet would continue to break me, whilst I in turn broke my father. “I loved you.”
“Lie!”Snap. “Try again, Arwyn Hopkin,” Bahmet encouraged softly.
“I loved you.”
Pop.
“I loved you.”
Crack.
“I. Loved. You.”
Snap.
