She gives a slow nod, her eyes distant, her mind clearly far away. After a second, though, she startles. Then she clears her throat. “I’ll head out,” she says.
I gesture silently in the direction of the door, and she stands up too.
“I’m almost done here,” she says as she smooths her hands down her shirt and leggings. It’s a habit of hers, something she does when she’s not sure what to do with her hands.
“I noticed,” I say. “Everything is looking really good. You’re good at this.”
“Anyone can clean,” she says. “But I’m efficient, and I enjoy it.”
We trail out of the living room and down the hall that leads to the entryway. She reaches for the handle of the front door and pulls it open with a lurch. As she’s about to step out, she looks over her shoulder at me. “Can I come back tomorrow morning to finish up?”
“No,” I say quickly. The word is suspiciously loud in the small foyer, too abrupt. So I clear my throat and try to sound more normal. “No. Sorry. I’ve got other stuff going on here then. Let’s just do Monday.”
She looks strangely at me but nods. “All right,” she says slowly, and then she shrugs. “Whatever. That’s fine.”
The tension leaks out of my shoulders as she moves on. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong, personally, but Aurora probably wouldn’t agree.
Because I may or may not have hired her stupid ex.
Aurora is taking care of the inside of my place, but the outside needed some work too—lawn care and clearing out flower beds and cleaning windows and all that. So Tyler comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and some Saturdays, like tomorrowmorning. I enjoy that much less than I enjoy having Aurora around.
But I hired him on the condition that he doesn’t tell Aurora—and on the condition that he follows through with his promise to pay back half the loan balance.
I don’t actually have a way to check on that promise, nor the power to enforce it, but he still sounded afraid of me during that conversation. I’ll have to hope that was incentive enough. He’ll be around for a bit longer, because he’s still got several areas left to cover.
Next week, though—Aurora will be gone after that, and who knows if I’ll see her anymore? I’ll be able to connect with her if I want, through Denice, but she won’t be coming to my house, and I won’t be going to her workplace.
We’ll be back to our own lives.
Something inside me rebels at this thought, and my mind begins to churn.
I need to act now if I want to change things. I had originally planned to ask Denice’s advice, but…this may be one of my last chances. It takes me a second to realize that my pulse has begun to race, and although the temperature in my house is perfectly normal, I’m suddenly too warm.
These things don’t happen to me; not really. I have feelings for women, but they’re shallow, superficial—certainly nothing out of my control.
Now, though…something is different.
And before I notice what’s happening—before I can stop myself—a question has sprung from my lips, released into the space between us and impossible to unsay:
“What would you think about dating a younger man?”
AURORA
“What wouldyou think about dating a younger man?”
Roman’s words only half register. “I don’t know.” My mind is still full of his grandmother and grandfather; they’ve all passed by now, a generation gone, and yet somehow it’s still sad. “It would depend how much younger, I guess.”
“Five years younger.”
His voice is even, decisive, and I freeze when I realize what he’s saying—where our conversation has strayed without me noticing.
“What—you?” I say, because that’s what he means, isn’t it? “How would I feel about dating you?” I laugh, a sound that’s somehow too loud in the little foyer.
But Roman doesn’t laugh, and silence falls between us. I turn around to face him fully, shrugging uncomfortably.
My heart should not be beating like this. My cheeks should not be growing so warm. There’s a sense of anxiety, too, something tangled in the pit of my stomach that walks a very fine line between pleasant and unpleasant.
“Of course not. You’re—” But I break off when the words won’t come.
