I can’t say the same of the men I’ve known. I’ve had exactly one-and-a-half boyfriends—because I don’t think Barf can be considered a full-time boyfriend—and although things went okay in the beginning, both of them broke things off or went elsewhere when they got tired of me. When they realized I was never playing hard to get, never using games to lure them in.
This is just how I am. I like men who can make me laugh, because I don’t do it often, for whatever reason. I’m more serious than I am laid back. And no man will ever come before my family.
Tyler was the first guy I ever really fell for—Tyler Dickinson, a guy I met fresh out of college when I returned to Lucky. We had a cleaning and organizing business for a while, something I absolutely loved.
Tyler was lighthearted but knew when to take things seriously. He was funny. He let me do my thing and be myself, and we worked well together. But then my dad had a heart attack, and I guess I changed. I was anxious and stressed and turned more toward my family, trying to be the anchor they needed when we were all scared. I was steady for them, calm and secure.
Tyler got the side of me that was struggling, whether it was fair to him or not. In the end, he wasn’t ready for that. It was too much, more work than he was willing to put in.
It happens sometimes. We weren’t married. It was perfectly okay for him to bow out. But it did hurt, more than I ever showed anyone, and it was depressing, too. With the end of the relationship came the end of our little business. And I couldn’t help but wonder…if a man who claimed to love me couldn’t handle the parts of me that were breaking, who would?
Bart, on the other hand, didn’t love me. I never expected him to. I was the sample scoop of ice cream he tried before going with a different flavor. It just would have been nice if he put down one spoon before picking up another.
“Okay, so tell us,” Juliet says, pulling me back to the present. Her words are muffled until we all lean back a little, which is great because I’ve been inhaling India’s hair and struggling to breathe. “He hasn’t actually proposed, has he?” Her voice grows stern. “India, if you’ve been hiding a ring around here, Iswear?—”
But India laughs, an incredible sound because of how genuine it is. She shakes her head, her red hair glinting orange and gold in the dim light of my bedside lamp. “He hasn’t proposed. We’ve just decided it’s what we want to do,” she says. Her cheeks are still pink as she goes on, tugging up the slipping shoulder of her oversized shirt. “It’s springtime now, and I know it’s soon, but we’re thinking maybe in the fall. Before it snows. Summer is too soon, but we don’t want to wait until next year if we don’t have to.”
Jules squeals again, even as my mind starts working through details. She’ll need a venue, of course, which is where they should start, because those places can book months or even years in advance, depending on the location.
“Are you going to use a wedding planner?” I say, right as Juliet says, “What about a dress? Do you have any ideas?”
My lips twitch, because these questions are very on-brand for both of us.
“I have no idea,” Indy admits. “About any of it.”
“You need to nail down a venue,” I say. Then I ask, “Have you told Mom and Dad yet?”
“Not yet. We just decided this weekend, even though we’ve always sort of talked vaguely about our future. But…” She shrugs. “We’ve been dating for almost two years. It’s time.”
“So this fall?” Jules says.
India nods. “Hopefully. Something small. Outside if possible, we’re thinking. That’s as far as we’ve gotten.”
“You’re going to move out,” Juliet says, slumping a little. She fiddles with the hem of her satin pajamas as India speaks.
“Yeah,” she says softly, and she sounds wistful too. “I will.”
We all fall silent, and although none of us say it out loud, I know we’re all thinking the same thing.
This is the end of an era. I knew it was, but hearing that India’s already moving in that direction just makes it more real. Something uncomfortable lodges in the back of my throat, and I swallow.
“I want more details, but I need to go to sleep,” I say. Then, eyeing my sisters and their sleepy expressions, I add, “So do both of you.”
“Boo,” Juliet says, but she’s already lifting herself from the bed. “I want to interrogate India on all her wedding plans.”
“Wait until she actually has wedding plans,” I say, and Indy nods.
“Yes,” she says. “That. I know nothing.”
“I don’t understand how you haven’t had your wedding planned out since you were twelve,” Jules says, and India follows as they head toward the door. “I’ve known what my wedding dress would look like since I got my first crush.”
I snort at this. “There’s no way your first crush was at twelve,” I say. “Try eight.”
Juliet gives a dainty shrug as she disappears through the door. “Apples and oranges,” she calls.
“Goodnight,” I say loudly, and their responses reach me from the hall, followed by the sound of their bedroom door closing.
I let my body slump into the pillows propped against my headboard, a heavy sigh escaping me.
