Silence.
“Not because of the show,” I say quickly. “It’s because—ah—I’m dating someone.” I stumble over the words, but I know my mother hears them, because she gasps.
“Is it this woman you’re living with?” she says. “Caroline—Caroline!” she shouts, and I stifle a groan. “Your brother has a girlfriend!”
From the background, barely audible, comes Caroline’s response: “It’s about time. Details!”
“No details right now,” I say firmly. I can’t handle that conversation at the moment. “I just wanted to let you know, because her mom has passed, so I told her she could borrow mine. I told her—” I clear my throat. “I told her my mom is pretty great.”
“Oh,” my mother says, her voice suddenly wobbly. “Oh, dear. Her mother passed away?”
I nod. “Years ago.”
“What about her father?”
I think of Rocco and Lionel Astor, frowning. “No father is in the picture.”
“Oh, dear,” my mother says again, and I can just picture her fretting. “That won’t do. Caroline? Caroline!” she shouts.
“What?” my sister’s voice says, sounding exasperated. “Why are you yelling? I’m right here.”
“Oh, sorry, sweetie; I didn’t realize. Just listen up. Aiden’s girlfriend—what’s her name?”
“Juniper,” I say, and Caroline echoes the same thing.
“Juniper,” my mother says. “Juniper needs a family. I want you to go over there tomorrow morning, Caroline, and tomorrow evening we can all have dinner together?—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say quickly. “Slow down. She has a brother; they get along well. She’s not completely alone. So no one needs to come over here in the morning. And we’ve got a lot going on this week, so probably no dinner tomorrow.” Inexplicably, a lump has begun to form in the back of my throat, spurred by my mom’s immediate call to arms—no hesitation, no questions, just love. I swallow thickly. “I just meant that I’m dating her, and I like her, and I hope you’ll be welcoming. That’s—” I clear my throat, squeezing my eyes shut a few times to get rid of the sting. “That’s all I meant.”
“Oh,” my mother says, and her voice softens. “Of course, sweetheart. Of course we will. Although”—now her words turn stern—“we should discuss how you’re living in sin.”
I can’t help it; I smile.
She’s truly the greatest mother in the world.
When I’ve finally maneuvered the phone call to an end, I return to the living room and sink into my reading chair, swiveling just briefly to pull a book from my shelf. I grab one without looking, my mind lost to my exhausted thoughts.
I open the book and am pleasantly surprised to find that my random grabbing led me to Shakespeare once again;As You Like Itthis time. One of my favorites, actually. I begin to read, trying to force my brain to pay attention.
It’s slow going.
At some point, I hear several disconcerting thuds from upstairs; a few seconds later, Juniper blunders down the stairs, dressed in her pajamas. Her eyes are more closed than open, and she’s moving like a zombie.
“Juniper?” I say as she lurches dazedly into the bathroom, only barely missing the doorframe. Butshe doesn’t answer; she just closes the door behind her, and I look back to my book. We haven’t reached the converse-through-the-bathroom-door stage of our relationship yet. So I once more turn to my reading, trying to focus.
And I try hard. I cross my legs. Uncross them. Rest my ankle over my knee. I even manspread for a bit. But no matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable. And it’s not because my body is restless, either; it’s my mind. Pretentious as it might be, Shakespeare never fails to grab my attention. But tonight he’s falling short, and my brain is jumping to every whispered shadow I see, startling at the most innocuous of sounds. The slam of the neighbor’s car door, a dog barking, the refrigerator running; they all make me jump out of my skin.
I’m on edge.
Why am I on edge?
When I hear the sound of the front door lurching open, honest to goodness, I almost wet myself.
“Caroline,” I mutter, saying her name like a curse as I stand.
“Not Caroline.”
Two words, spoken in a soft voice. Friendly, even. But the hair stands up on the back of my neck, and it feels like someone has poured ice water into my lungs.
