Thunk.
Something slammed into the couch.Hard.
Savla jerked like he’d been shot. I startled so violently I ended up half in his lap, half on the cushion.
THUNK.
The couch jolted again. And then—
CROAK.
A massive, bulbous head appeared over the back of the couch. Two enormous eyes blinked at us.Ribbon. Ribbon the boulder-sized, emotionally unstable, danger-to-furniture amphibian. He croaked happily, like he’d caught us doing something scandalous and planned to tell the entire clan.
“Oh no,” Savla muttered.
“Ribbon,” I squeaked, trying—and failing—to extricate myself gracefully from the tangle of limbs we’d become. “Sweetheart, what are you doing—?”
Ribbon hopped onto the couch with us. And I knew that the combined weight of a full-grown orc and human plus an almost full-grown mountain toad wouldseverelytest the integrity of the couch.
The entire frame shuddered underneath his added weight. I made a noise that was definitely not dignified and Savla grabbed me instinctively, hauling me out of the way just before Ribbon’sfull body flopped onto the cushion.
He landed exactly where our heads had been three seconds earlier just as the sofa gave out with a loud crack. My heart sprinted in my chest.
Savla exhaled through his teeth. “…Your toad is a menace.”
“Suddenly, when he’s being bad, he’smytoad. I don’t want to hear what you’ll say when we have younglings,” I shot back without thinking.
He froze. I froze. The bond hummed like it had just heard something scandalous. Ribbon croaked proudly, as if approving the declaration.Savla cleared his throat, ears turning faintly pink.
“…That was... it wasn’t a no. I just... wasn’t sure what to say.”
“Good,” I whispered, equally flustered.
Ribbon, apparently satisfied with his role as romance chaperone, nudged the carving into Savla’s lap. Like he was presenting gifts at a wedding.
“Oh Goddess Mother,” I groaned, covering my face. “He thinks we’re having a bonding ceremony.”
Savla coughed so hard he nearly choked.
“He’s intuitive,” he managed.
“He’s delusional,” I whispered back.
Ribbon croaked loudly—offended—and then flopped over both of us, his entire moist, warm weight pressing me directly into Savla’s chest.
I wheezed. “I can’t—breathe—”
Savla grunted, trying and failing to lift him. “Ribbon, move.”
He refused. Instead, hesnuggled.
Savla’s arm was trapped behind my back, his chest pressed flush to mine. Ribbon’s gigantic toad-limbs sprawled over the rest of us like a squishy weighted blanket with no concept of boundaries.
I groaned into Savla’s shirt. “Is he… jealous?”
He sighed. “This is new, but I think I know why.”
“Why?”
