Corbin kissed the top of my head. “Good.”
I smiled, feeling a little better. Yeah, I supposed some changewasgood. But I didn’t like change here, and I didn’t know how to explain it.
“I’ve always come here,” I said. “For as long as I can remember, it’s always been a happy place for me. I don’t want to deal with unhappy things here. There are enough unhappy things in life. I’m a nurse—I’ve seen my fair share of tragedies. And this place, it was like it made some of those tragedies better. But now…”
“Now there are bad people here,” Corbin finished.
I nodded against him. I couldfeelit, this subtle sensation of things being off behind me. It made my head hurt a little, and Igot a swoopy feeling in my stomach. It was like I was nervous, but I wasn’t nervous about the people. This wasmyplace, and no one could hurt me here.
“Why am I scared of seeing them?” I asked Corbin. “I mean, I’m not scaredofthem, and I know you or the hellhound or whatever will deal with bad people. Yeah, it sucks to have to make decisions like that, and I really don’t wanna do it, but this feeling… It’s worse than that. It’s like there’s a locked room and I don’t want to know what’s behind the door.”
Corbin hummed thoughtfully, and I heard Crow coo and ruffle her feathers behind me. I kind of felt like crying, and I had no idea why. I was in my happy place with Corbin and Crow. Why was I sad?
“I can deal with them without you having to turn around,” Corbin reassured me. “You don’t have to make the decision. I can already tell that there’s someone I’ll need to take care of. And then it will be back to normal for you.”
“I don’t know if it can ever go back to normal,” I whispered.
Corbin squeezed me. “You can’t close a box once it’s been opened.”
I shivered a little at his words. “What if I don’t like what’s in the box, Corbin?”
Corbin came around to stand in front of me. He gripped my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “This isyourplace, and you’re safe here. You willalwaysbe safe here. I’ll protect you, even though you don’t need me to, because you can protect yourself.”
I looked at him and felt tears spring to my eyes, and I didn’t know why. “I don’t want to protect myself,” I muttered, which sounded sort of stupid even as I said it. Then I said, “I don’t want to open the box.”
Corbin tilted my chin up and gave me a soft kiss. He leaned his forehead against mine. “I think that whatever is in the boxis a part of you, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Maybe it isn’t something you’re ready to deal with, but when you are, I’ll be here to help you.”
“What if you don’t like what’s in the box?” I whispered.
Corbin pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. “I love everything about you, Sebbie, including what’s in the box. I can promise you thatnothingyou can tell me willeverchange that. Do you understand?Nothing. You are my mate, and I love and support you. You’re safe with me.”
My eyes overflowed with tears at those words, but they didn’t feel sad, exactly. Maybe relieved? I didn’t know. I felt like I was carrying around this weight, and I didn’t know what it even was, and most of the time I didn’t even know it was there, but sometimes it just sort of snuck up on me and I feltheavy. Burdened. Weary.
I felt that way when…
My mind skittered away from the thought, but I could still place it. It had to do with the basement and the cult that had kidnapped me. There was something…
“Corbin?” I asked. He hummed against me. “Corbin, I think there are things I’m not remembering about being kidnapped.”
He nodded his head against me, giving me a kiss on the forehead. “You’ll remember when you’re ready.”
Something eased in me at that. He wasn’t going to ask me to remember right now. I’d remember when I was ready. That was okay, wasn’t it?
We cuddled for a bit longer, but eventually I pulled back, sighing. There were things that had to be dealt with.
“Are you sure?” Corbin asked, like he knew I was about to turn around and face the people there. “I can handle the not nice people.”
I looked at him, then across the river. “I think I need to do this. I know you’ll handle them, but I think I need to… I don’tknow, bear witness? Something like that. They’re…” I tried to put it into words, finally settling on, “They’re my responsibility.”
Corbin nodded his head, and then we turned together to face whatever was waiting for us.
Luckily, it really wasn’t that bad. There were three not-nice people (ones from the ER, coincidentally, and the cardiac wing guy), and Corbin turned into the hellhound thing and made them just sort of go poof. They were gone in a rush of flames with little worry. I didn’t even need to talk to them—I couldfeelhow awful they were. Hellhound Corbin must have been able to, as well, because he went straight for them and with my nod took care of them.
One person was sort of not nice, and Hellhound Corbin went over and sat down beside her, like he knew it was my decision. I talked to her, and I saw enough good in her to give her a boat ride. I made her promise to make amends, and I thought she would, so I let her on.
We were standing on the dock, and the boat was full—most of the people had been the usual crew of very nice people that I’d met at one time or another in my life. Crow was resting on Hellhound Corbin’s back, and my hand was resting on his shoulder (Hellhound Corbin was really freaking tall). We were both looking at the boat, but I felt kind of bad about leaving them both behind.
Maybe they could come with me?
