“I don’t think?—”
“No, you think too damn much. And you think you’re the only one who thinks.”
“Er—”
I took a deep breath, focusing on why I was here, because that was not it. “I’m sorry if I upset you yesterday. I’ll be honest, I’m new to this, and despite all my training, I’ve been trying, but I haven’t quite figured it out. So, I’m sorry, but fuck you.”
He looked hesitant. “Am I allowed to speak now?”
I narrowed my eyes, not sure if that was a genuine question or if he was being an ass. “Sure, go ahead.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, taking a deep breath. “I’m not sure how I feel about your...speech, as I wasn’t expecting to get yelledat after being caught in such a...private moment. And I definitely wasn’t expecting you to yell at me.”
“Yeah, well, thank Reggie for that,” I muttered, still feeling guilty about having walked in on him. “And for the record, the system showed you were accepting visitors and not wanting private time. So I just came in.”
“Odd, I’m sure I set it to privacy mode.”
“Well, I can’t come in if that’s the case, even my card won’t let me, not unless I clarify that it’s an emergency, and me in emergency mode would have been a lot louder.”
“Wait, Reggie told you to...yell at me?”
I snorted. “No, but I called him because I freaked out when I saw...you. Wanted a bit of guidance, and when he was done making sure I was over freaking out, he told me the best thing a Guide can do sometimes is be himself.”
He stared at me. “We’ll circle around to the first part of that in a moment. You being yourself involves yelling at me?”
“Me being me involves not putting up with someone when they’re an arrogant, rude asshole,” I told him with a huff. “And you’ve been a standoffish jerk from pretty much the moment we met. And then when I tried to apologize because I was freaked out, you were showing signs of being an ass again, so I lost my temper.”
“For someone who says there was nothing wrong with what I was doing,” he said stiffly, and even though he was doing a good job at seeming dignified, he was obviously shaken by what had happened. “You freaked out.”
“Well, yeah, there’s nothing wrong with it, Jesus, everyone does it,” I said with a little laugh. “I just...it’s also super private. And you’re already a super private person, so I was a little freaked out, yeah.”
He stared at me just long enough that I could feel myself squirm. There was absolutely no way for him to know that partof my problem was that the image would live rent-free in my head until the next time I did the same thing I’d caught him doing. The guy was kind of a jerk and hard to get through to, but I would have to be blind and stupid not to realize he was still an attractive man. And I’d just walked in on that attractive man slowly stroking his very attractive dick, and that was not an image that was going to leave me anytime soon.
“I can...understand that,” he said, clearing his throat roughly. “It was not an ideal position to be discovered in.”
“Is this your way of saying you forgive me for walking in on you...in a private moment?” I asked. Calling it ‘jerking off’ seemed too coarse when the image was still hyper fresh in my brain.
“I’ll be honest, I know I’ve given the impression that I haven’t been impressed by you?—”
“Or like me.”
“Or that,” he said with what had to be the first smile the entire time. “But I can confidently say that even in my...less kind moments—don’t give me that look. I never considered you to be a creepora liar.”
“Less kind moments,” I said with a snort and a roll of my eyes. “And I’m going to pretend I’m not offended that you decided I wasn’t a liar or creep, along with whatever the hell else you came up with as criticism.”
“You’re throwing yourself wholeheartedly into this ‘being yourself’ thing, aren’t you?”
“I’ve been holding back for a week and a half, and it turns out I’m not good at it. Not when I can’t find a reason for you to be so damn rude and cold all the time when I haven’t even had the chance toearnbeing treated like an annoying shit. I deserve that chance at least.”
He stared at me before turning with a snort. “I can’t argue with that. My sister always said I’m too quick to judge people and shut them out.”
“And what did you say, first impressions are last ones?”
Rowan hesitated, clicking his tongue. “Something...remarkably close, actually, though I can’t remember precisely what I said.”
I smirked. I couldn’t help it; it was kind of nice to have caught him by surprise, and now I knew what he looked like when he wasn’t able to stifle his reaction. Good to know. “I’ve known people like that before.”
“You don’t seem like the sort of man who would get along with those types.”
