She allowed herself a smile at the hope of Mr Bingley meeting Jane in Hertfordshire, dancing with her at next week’s assembly, and falling madly in love and marrying her. It was not likely, but it was not impossible, either.
Would she still be married by the end of the year? Would Wickham be satisfied with fifty pounds and her fear? Or would he take the money and still ruin her?
“There you are, Edward. We could hear you all laughing downstairs,” said her aunt, startling Elizabeth out of her melancholy.
Mr Gardiner came in and busied himself with poring over a few books from Darcy’s library she had laid out. “Your husband is a stately young man, but he has a humour that rivals his cousin’s. And he is quick and clever, Lizzy. You chose well.”
She was forced into it, but once she dealt with Wickham, perhaps it could all end well. Elizabeth politely agreed. Her aunt watched her for another moment, and then asked carefully, in a low voice so her uncle could not hear, “How are you feeling, my dear?”
“Perfectly well, and I am so glad you are back. I hope we will see each other often now.”
“I admit I was a little worried about that, given Mr Darcy’s rank in life. I feared he would not approve of us and we would scarcely see you. We were delighted to receive your invitation to dine. We will have you back next week, if your husband would accept it?”
“Of course he would. He is not like that,” she insisted. Or, at least, he was not anymore. His affection for her and his willingness to improve made him accept her relations in trade. She could tell from his manner tonight that he approved of her aunt and uncle.
Would he approve of her if he knew she had got herself entrapped by Wickham? She was sick to her stomach with worry over it. She had ruined all her claims to reputation by doing the one thing Darcy asked her not to do. If she told him what she had done, she might lose him.
“Mr Darcy’s behaviour to us has, in every respect, been pleasing,” her aunt said into the silence, “like he hopes to earn our good opinion.”
“Darcy is a good man, a generous one. Though he may have once been a little disdainful of those outside his circle when I first knew him, he is working to correct that. And he is affectionate and generous to those within his circle, and I hope you will like him too.”
“Oh, Lizzy, can I say how much I like him?” Her aunt gave a warm smile. “I know some may look askance at how quickly you married, but you recognised his merits, and he must have seen yours. His understanding and opinions all please me; he wants nothing but a little more liveliness, but you can help with that,” she added with a teasing look.
Shewantedto be lively, playful. She wanted to tease Darcy and be at ease with him, like they had been before he left. She wanted to confess her feelings and move their relationship forward in every way. But Wickham’s threats were an ever-present burden on her heart. How was she to get another twenty-five pounds by Friday?
“Lizzy, I said, are you really feeling well?” Her aunt must have called her attention more than once. “You are rather pale, and you hardly ate at dinner.”
“I have had little appetite lately. I am merely tired. Too many late hours, I suppose. I am not used to town living.”
“You are fatigued and have no appetite?” Mrs Gardiner grinned and gave her an expressive look, but Elizabeth did not understand her. “My dear, you are five weeks married and have no energy and no appetite? There is a likely reason, a very happy reason.”
“Oh.” She was uncertain whether to laugh in nervousness or burst into tears. Her emotions were in such a tumult, both responses felt possible. “No. No, no. I am certain that is not it.”
“Are you sure, my dear? I was uncertain the first time, but now that I have done it another three?—”
“I am very sure.”
Her aunt saw the truth in her looks. “Well, all in good time.”
She smiled wanly as Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam entered. The men talked together by the fire, and Mrs Gardiner said to her, “I had hoped you might wear your new hair ornament. I read about it in the paper.”
“‘Lovestruck’ here selected a fine piece, did he not?” Colonel Fitzwilliam said.
Her aunt and uncle checked their laughter at the sight of Darcy’s glowering face, but it did not stop his cousin from smirking.
“You must hate to hear mention of yourself in print, Mr Darcy,” Mr Gardiner said to appease him.
“Darcy, please,” he said to her uncle. Elizabeth flushed with pride and pleasure at her husband’s gesture. “I hate to see my wife’s name mentioned, even if it is complimentary. The next time, it might not be. Whispers are enough to ruin someone, and innuendo could easily be taken for a fact.”
Her happy feelings were instantly overthrown. It was a good thing she had scarcely eaten. She would have thrown it all back up on her drawing room floor, and then had a harder time convincing her aunt it was impossible she could be pregnant.
“May I see your aigrette, Lizzy?”
She grew so faint, her vision darkened. She hoped it appeared that she simply sank farther into her seat. “Oh, I wore it to a grand ball in Portman Place. I—I did not think my hair especially wanted some jewel or feather to attract the eye for a quiet family evening. Really, it was an unnecessary gift to begin with.”
“Am I not allowed to spoil my bride?” Darcy asked.
Guilt twisted her. She had defied him and given money to Georgiana when he told her not to. Her good intentions did not matter. She risked disgracing his family name. She was not worthy of his attention now. She could not even answer him from shame.
