The company, however, tried her patience. Mr Balfour incessantly talked about his new travelling coach and other purchases he wished to make, and Mr Utterson often checked his watch and seemed impatient to leave for Lord Poole’s. She had not been sorry to see them go.
“Pemberley is beautiful. I could never tire of it.” She thought about what she felt whenever she had the chance to be out of doors in Derbyshire. “I would go so far as to say that the natural beauty of the scenery here moves my heart.”
When Mrs Lanyon only smiled, she added, “I am sorry that your ride this afternoon caused a headache.” Elizabeth suspected there was no such headache, but went along with her new friend’s claim. Sheseemed to wish to avoid the colonel, which was unfortunate given how he seemed eager to spend time with her. “I would be surprised to learn that Miss Darcy’s company caused it.”
“Not at all. I enjoy riding with either of the Darcy siblings.” She smiled. “They are both quiet, and I can enjoy the ride and the scenery without any chatter.”
Elizabeth laughed along with her. When their laughter faded, she said quietly, “Colonel Fitzwilliam mentioned he had looked forward to your company after you left the dining room.”
Mrs Lanyon looked away. “I am sure he will enjoy your company when you return.”
“He might enjoy mine well enough, but I think he willmissyours.” Mrs Lanyon did not so much as look at her. “I am sorry,” Elizabeth said gently, “that you do not feel comfortable at Pemberley any longer.”
“You met Colonel Fitzwilliam in Kent, I understand?” Mrs Lanyon was determined to pretend not to hear. “You are easy and cheerful in mixed company, just like he is, and you each speak with the men or the women with equal ease.”
Mrs Lanyon did not sound jealous, but wistful. “But you do not?”
“I often find women tiresome,” she said after a moment’s pause. “The hour in the drawing room after dinner with a large party is a trial to me. Women are always in competition. Oh, perhaps not always, but I feel it nonetheless. They are rarely truthful, always comparing and judging.”
Elizabeth thought on this for a while. “They are often in competition with one another, and I suppose they often say one thing when they believe another, but you cannot have those fears with Miss Darcy, and I am sorry if I ever gave you an indication of being insincere.”
“No, not at all, my dear Miss Bennet,” she said warmly. “You must not let my unsocial nature allow you to believe I do not admire you. I am truly glad that you stayed at Pemberley with me. Miss Darcy is sweet, but she is young and too shy to be good company yet.” Elizabeth gave her a reassuring smile. “In some ways, the gentlemen are easier to talk to, but of course one must be cautious in cultivating friendships with a man too.”
“I do not think that in this small group of friends it is a problem. But it is not as potentially damaging to your reputation. In your case, as a widow, you can have a gentleman friend and no one will raise a critical eye.”
She shrugged and looked over her shoulder at the miniature of her late husband. “I must be above reproach always, and that is best done with silence.”
Elizabeth now felt she had a better understanding of Mrs Lanyon’s behaviour today. “No one here would reproach you.” She paused. “Colonel Fitzwilliam looked surprised and happy when he arrived and saw you at the breakfast table.”
Mrs Lanyon only nodded, and Elizabeth tried again. “Did Colonel Fitzwilliam know Captain Lanyon?”
“Slightly; we had the same group of friends whilst my husband was alive. He was always kind to remember me, to include me, after Captain Lanyon died.” She gave a small smile. “The colonel is an amiable man, he listens well... easy for me to talk to...”
When she said nothing else, Elizabeth said, “He makes a better first impression than his cousin does.”
Mrs Lanyon laughed and in that moment appeared much younger. “I suppose so. Although most would say that Mr Darcy is the more handsome man.”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam might be considered plain by comparison,” Elizabeth led, wondering if Mrs Lanyon might contradict her.
“Yes, but he has so much countenance! And he is tall and well-made and has an engaging smile. I defy anyone who has spent time with him to call him plain.”
Elizabeth smiled, and Mrs Lanyon blushed and looked again at the miniature. Elizabeth said gently, “Captain Lanyon has been gone three years, and everyone deserves to be loved by someone.”
“No,” Mrs Lanyon said sharply, “everyone deserves to at least know what it is to be loved. I have already had that once.”
“Do you feel as though you are being disloyal to Captain Lanyon if you love a second time?”
“To love again, to marry again, some would call it a betrayal.”
Having never loved and lost a husband, Elizabeth sat silent for a long moment. “I cannot speak from experience, but I feel that a worthy man would understand that you have room in your heart for both your first husband and a second. Was Captain Lanyon not such a man?”
Mrs Lanyon reached over to pick up the miniature. “He always said that if he died in battle that I ought to find whatever happiness in life that I could.”
“Are you avoiding Colonel Fitzwilliam because he is not the type of man to understand you will always have an affection for your first husband?” She did not believe it of him, but Mrs Lanyon appeared to know the colonel better than she did.
“Oh no, my dear Miss Bennet,” she answered softly. “I avoid him because heisa good man, one who might be devoted to me if I let him, and I do not know my own mind. Many believe that a widowed woman who was happily married does not deserve to marry a second time, after all.”
“I think what matters is what you and Colonel Fitzwilliam have to say on that point.”
