“Darcy married you for Georgiana’s sake, of course, but he also had a more selfish reason.” Mr Darcy threw his cousin a fierce look, as though by the fire emanating from his eyes, he could silence Colonel Fitzwilliam’s teasing. It might have worked on any other man, but not his own cousin.
“Mr Darcy does not appear to wish to hear your opinion, but it would be rude of me to hinder my guest’s conversation so, by all means, embarrass the man to your heart’s content.” She gave her husband an impudent smile, and he shrugged, entirely failing in his effort to look stern.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was holding back his own smile. “In order to avoid our family’s pressure to marry our cousin Anne, Darcy decided to marry a woman who is prettier and more intelligent and a great deal more compassionate.”
“I assure you my merits and attractions did not weigh into MrDarcy’s decision.” She dared not look at Mr Darcy to see either his assent or his disagreement, so she plainly saw Colonel Fitzwilliam’s sceptical raise of his eyebrows. “I suspect that your aunt Cathy”—Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed—“if she wishes for the union so heartily, there must be some pecuniary advantage to your families.”
“More importantly,” Mr Darcy said, pityingly, “she wishes to see her daughter wed to a family connexion because Anne is addicted to laudanum. Her whole time and thoughts are employed in deceiving herself, and seeking to deceive others in her attempt to get more of the drug. You know how she is, Fitzwilliam: sometimes she gives ill-tempered speeches, sometimes she does not speak a word for days.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked embarrassed to speak about indelicate family matters before her. Mr Darcy noticed, then angled his body toward her on the sofa they were sharing and placed his arm across the back of it, just behind her. Elizabeth suppressed her desire to shift closer to him, as well as the hope that he would wrap that arm around her if she did. “You may speak freely in front of Mrs Darcy.”
“Doyou, Darcy? Do you speak freely and honestly in front of the woman who gave so much for Georgiana, and who does so much for your sake?”
There was a glare between the cousins that Elizabeth could not understand, and Colonel Fitzwilliam came to some manner of decision. “Yes, Anne despises all who stand in the way of her gratification, and since Darcy was not with me at Easter to refuse to turn a blind eye to her laudanum use, she was marginally less miserable than she usually is.”
“This is the union your family wishes for you?” She looked at Mr Darcy, leaning closer and enjoying the way he leant toward her to listen. “They want Anne to marry a man who will not gratify her addiction to laudanum, but who is out of humour when she does not get what she wants? My, what a happy prospect. I can see now why the dying stranger held such an appeal.”
“You have appeal on your own merits,” he said in a low voice. In a more conversational voice, he said, “My aunt, on the other hand, her happiness is in exact proportion to the number of objects upon whichshe can dispense her unsolicited advice. With only Fitzwilliam there, she must have been a trial.”
Elizabeth liked to observe the unreserved conversation between the men. It made her happy to see Mr Darcy smiling. He had in general seemed happier, but to observe that through his interactions with one he was close to—and not judge only by his manner with her—confirmed the idea. By the time his three months of mourning were passed, Mr Darcy would be restored to his composure and the worst of his sorrow would be over.
“You cannot mean it!” Mr Darcy cried with a laugh, and thereby bringing her attention back to their talk about some party. “There was only bread and butter. Lady White served coffee we could not distinguish from hot water sweetened. It was terribly vulgar.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed. “Lady White’s supper after the opera was perfectly ... adequate. What, you do not approve of pocket handkerchiefs for tablecloths and napkins?”
“I daresay I would have a better supper at Almack’s than at Lady White’s in Grosvenor Square.”
Mr Darcy had mentioned attending one of Wilson’s balls with his friend and his friend’s sister—the evening her hair feather caught fire—and his cousin had brought him to a supper after the opera in Grosvenor Square.His connexions are better than I realised.And how had Mr Darcy received a voucher to attend Almack’s? Elizabeth looked at him while he laughed with his cousin. No, it was impossible; he could not have been there. Everyone knew Almack’s reputation for meagre refreshments. Mr Darcy drew the comparison by reputation, not from personal experience.
Mr Darcy caught her notice and looked inquiringly, but she only smiled and blinked as though she had not realised she was looking at him. He stifled a yawn and begged his cousin to forgive him for going to bed before him. Colonel Fitzwilliam waved him off.
“You know I am fonder of later hours than you keep. But Mrs Darcy will keep company with me for a little while longer, will not you?”
She agreed, and something in Colonel Fitzwilliam’s manner raised her suspicions. She offered to play anything that he chose, but hedeclined, and then sat in silence for so long that Elizabeth knew it would be up to her to break the ice.
“Have you anything to say on how I treat your cousin? He would be the first to tell you if I had damaged his reputation, insulted his sister’s memory, or done anything else you feared I might do when you were last here.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam looked embarrassed. “Darcy certainly said nothing against you. I regret having doubted your character.” Before she could demure, because she truly held no animosity toward his previous concerns, he said, “To own the truth, I am afraid you are rather thrown away on him.”
“You are a gallant flirt. I can say that because you are family, and because I will be dead soon so you will not have long to hold it against me.”
“Since we are family and I can ask forward questions about your health, how have you felt?”
He gave her an earnest, open look. She had not given her heart serious consideration for a few days, although it was always near to her mind. “The last time my heart troubled me was at a dinner at Longbourn. It did not descend into the crippling pain that you observed at the ball. I was even able to walk home.” She had begun to have the quivering fingers, the chest tightness, but not the localised pain at her heart.
“Was the ball the last time that you suffered such a bad occurrence?”
“No, Georgiana’s funeral. The neighbours and my family were here, but I managed to keep my worsening condition from everyone until Mr Darcy parted from them.” In fact, she had not felt terrible until after everyone but the Collinses were gone.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was giving her a pitying look that wounded her more than Mr Darcy’s compassionate gazes did. She would not allow his pity—anyone’s pity—make her more conscious of her impending death. “So, you see, I did not act in an uncaring manner or injure Mr Darcy’s reputation, even in the midst of a paroxysm during his sister’s funeral. You need not fear for his good name.”
“You have well assured me on that point. In fact, I think your livelinessand affectionate manner have been the best balm for him.” She knew she turned pink but tried to appear unaffected by his praise.I want us to be necessary to each other’s comfort, for however long I live.“Darcy is so much used to living alone that I wonder if he does not know the value of a companion such as you.”
“I lived alone even amongst large households full of family members. One does not have to be alone to know the value of a true companion.”
“Have you found that true companion in Darcy?”
She looked away, embarrassed, and the colonel did not press her. Did Mr Darcy see the value in a hug, a mere press of a body passing love and tenderness for a few seconds?He was not without faults: he was reserved, a little proud, not generally agreeable. Still, Elizabeth was acutely aware that, had she more time, had they not married for convenience, she could have found a true companion in the clever, handsome, generous man who was now asleep upstairs.
