“I, I am rather tired. There are few gentlemen, and Lydia ought to dance if she can.”
Mrs Bennet turned in her seat to look at her new son-in-law. “Mary is always neglectful of such things. She has much to learn about being a good hostess, but I can introduce you to any young lady.”
“I am a married man. My dancing days are now over, madam.”
Elizabeth wished Mr Darcy could love a ballroom better. Soon thereafter, the musicians finished, and supper was announced and the move-through began. Mr and Mrs Collins passed near, and Mrs Bennet called to them.
“Oh, Mr Collins! You must be sad to have missed the chance to dance with Lizzy, but she is weary and intends to sit out the remainder of the evening. You do not mind not dancing with the bride?”
“Good heavens, Mamma!” Mary interrupted. “It is bad enough that she opened my ball. Too much notice of Lizzy on the occasion of her marriage is a vanity bait to a poor spinster, a woman who has married a notorious man, and who has nothing to recommend her beyond being the sister to Mrs Collins!”
This mean-tempered injunction was heard by everyone, and Elizabeth blushed in shame. Many guests stared, a few smiled, as Mary walked, with a self-satisfied air, to supper. Elizabeth felt a pressure and heaviness building in her chest. Mr Collins remained, and for a moment, Elizabeth thought he might apologise for his wife.
“Mr Darcy, my dear Mary does speak the truth. My cousin Elizabeth was not a wise choice for you. Your fortune is very limited, and your family naturally will be increasing. Elizabeth’s portion is unhappily small. But, perhaps on this subject, we ought to be silent. What is donecannot be undone, and her lack of fortune ought not to undo the effects of her alluring qualifications. Let me advise you, as a man who has enjoyed that honourable estate for two years, to not allow an ungenerous reproach against your wife about her lack of fortune cross your lips.”
And with a bow to Mr Darcy, he concluded his offensive speech, which had been spoken so loud as to be heard by the entire room. Elizabeth stood to walk to supper, but fell back into her chair as her legs could not support her. Her new husband met her eye, and in an instant he was gone, she knew, to order the carriage. The rest of the party went in to supper, but Colonel Fitzwilliam remained at her side while her breath came unsteadily and her heart pounded away erratically.
“Good heavens, Mrs Darcy. I did not realise how quickly these paroxysms struck you. You ought not to have danced, I suspect.”
She tried to joke about her not realising it either, but the tightness in her chest and the building pain made speech impossible. Instead, she dropped her head to her knees and allowed Colonel Fitzwilliam to block her from view as the room emptied. She focused on the pain in her heart, on willing the organ to keep beating as she tried to pull air into her lungs despite the squeezing pressure against them. Mr Darcy was soon back at her side and all but carried her into the carriage they had hired for the evening.
She had fallen asleep against the side glass before starting awake as they rattled toward the lodge. She opened her eyes, but the carriage was dark, and the gentlemen were engaged in quiet conversation.
“... was nothing compared to the manners of these people.”
“Normally, I would caution you to not be fastidious, but you are not wrong. I feel for Mrs Darcy.”
“For her? Feel for me. She is used to bad connexions, but I shall have to suffer them until?—”
He stopped, but Elizabeth knew what he would have said. He would only have to tolerate her embarrassing relations until she dropped dead, which, given tonight’s sudden and severe episode, felt like it would not be long.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
As he tried to sleep after the Longbourn ball, Darcy wondered if the acts done by Mrs Darcy’s family had been calculated to injure and insult. Perhaps, if taken alone, each family member was only peculiar, but as a whole, they were embarrassing. The country attorney uncle, the stockjobber brother-in-law, and the linen merchant uncle were nothing to the tactless and mortifying behaviour of her immediate family.
If she had many daughters to marry off, Mrs Bennet would be insufferable. Lydia Bennet, understandably, wanted to escape Longbourn. Only the certainty of her wanting a wealthy husband kept her from running off with the first handsome man who returned her flirtations. And the vanity and insecurities of Mrs Collins, the stupidity of her husband, and the ignorance of them both made them equally insupportable.
It is no wonder Mrs Darcy wished for independence from them before she dies.
In the six weeks since she had returned from town, he had observed three of her heart episodes; who knew how many others she had suffered. Mrs Darcy would not live long. Georgiana would be grieved, and grieved on his behalf since she thought theirs was a lovematch. His twenty-one-year-old wife’s heart was not even strong enough to dance two sets.
Mrs Darcy might die in her sleep.
A sickening feeling settled in his stomach. She might already be dead after so many recent heart paroxysms and after the strain of dancing. Darcy rose from his bed, wrapping a dressing robe around himself as he strode across the corridor, but he stopped outside of Mrs Darcy’s door. A full minute passed in the draughty corridor while he considered the rightness of his entering. He could not allow Georgiana to discover her first in the morning.
Nor can I fall asleep wondering if Mrs Darcy’s body grows cold in her bed.
He entered slowly, leaving the door open behind him. “Mrs Darcy?” he whispered.
The form in the bed was curled up with its back to him. He considered leaving, but he could not tell if she breathed. He shifted his weight as he decided thathecould not sleep until he was certain his new wife had not died inhersleep. Darcy crept closer and peered at her. Mrs Darcy seemed unnaturally still. He ran a hand over his mouth and wondered if she was truly dead.
He stretched his arm over to where her hand was tucked near her face and pressed two fingers to her wrist. He held his breath until he felt the steady pulse. Darcy heaved a sigh, feeling more relieved than he ought to have. Mrs Darcy would die soon, but not tonight. He returned to his room as silently as he had come in, and fell asleep.
“Yes, it was an entertaining evening,”Elizabeth agreed, “and the only thing that could have made it better was your presence.”
“Oh, Lizzy, I shall content myself with hearing your account.” Georgiana looked as though her greatest happiness would come from listening about her evening rather than attending such an event herself.
“Mary’s ball was thin, but by no means unpleasant. There were but seven couples dancing, and only twenty-seven people in the room. There were few young ladies, and such as there were, not veryhandsome. You ought to be well enough before the next Meryton assembly so they can see what a truly handsome, elegant young lady looks like.”
