Miss Darcy opened her eyes and shook her head. She blushed again and looked at her hands.
It is shyness, then, not ill manners or pride.“I noticed the instrument. I doubt Mr Darcy plays; do you?”
“I have not done lately, but I once played and sang all day long.”
The wistfulness in her voice could have brought Elizabeth to tears had Miss Darcy not chosen that moment to look directly at her. She might be timid, but this was a girl who did not want pity. “Then I suspect you are accustomed to better performances than what I am able to give, but perhaps I shall give you a little music before I leave?” She forced a cheerfulness into her voice that she did not feel when she looked at this weakened girl.
“I would like that.”
Elizabeth found sheet music on the instrument, as well as a fine layer of dust. She played two songs, and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw her audience focused on her with rapt attention.After another song, she closed the instrument and returned to Miss Darcy. “I fear I have occupied enough of your time for one morning.”
“I have not been half so occupied for a long time.”
“Would you like it if I came back tomorrow?”
Miss Darcy tried to reply, but coughed instead. Her vehement nod was answer enough.
“Mrs Baker toldyour aunt Philips that she would turn away their footman when his year was up. She says it is because he is forgetful, but she scolds anyone who crosses her path. Unpleasant, horrid woman!” Mrs Bennet cried. “He is so tall! Would Mr Collins hire him? If you do not, I think Lady Lucas will.”
“I do not need a second footman, Mamma,” Mary intoned. “I intend to leave my younger children moderately provided for.”
“You have two thousand a year, and hardly entertain or make a purchase! We used to keep two, after all. Do not judge him by what that disagreeable Mrs Baker says.”
“It is virtuous to have order, frugality, and economy in one’s private life. Besides, I have also you and my sisters to provide for. Although, Lydia may not remain a spinster.”
Elizabeth felt her mother’s, Lydia’s, and Mr and Mrs Collins’s eyes turn to her. She shifted her body away and leant over her book.Better a spinster than be married to a dreadful man.
“I do not begrudge caring for my dear Mary’s mother and sisters. Whilst I have a farthing in my pocket, I shall not starve my wife’s family.” Her foolish cousin probably thought he was being gallant and that she should be grateful to be fed regularly. “Happy is the man who has sown the seeds of benevolence, and showing liberality to a poor and distressed spinster is our Christian duty.”
“If you hosted a ball, perhaps someone might bring a wealthy single friend!” Lydia cried. “Then Lizzy and I might marry sooner.”
“Yes! Longbourn has not had anything larger than a card party since Mr Bennet died,” her mother said. “Mr Collins, you ought to consider the idea. If Mary does not wish to do the honours, I would be willing.”
“Mamma, I will not sacrifice my time, my reason, and my duties to fashion and folly, and you ought to follow my example.”
This conversation went on, with Lydia trying to persuade Mary and Mr Collins to host a ball, and her mother trying to persuade them to hire another footman, and woven throughout it all were threads of disdain for having to pay for the upkeep of an unmarried sister who had now reached the age of twenty-one. Other than Lydia laughingly wishing for her to live another twenty-one years, and her mother wishing her joy, her birthday had been unremarkable for Elizabeth.
“Lizzy, you have said very little and look cross.” Mary called her attention. “If you sit with us, you must contribute to what is going forward. Faults in a lady’s discourse and behaviour render one’s company tedious rather than amusing.”
“Our conversations are about what sort of servant such a one is, or what a strain it is to support a spinster. What can be more uninteresting! Am I obliged to set upon the occasion as curious a face as if I were delighted with the subjects?”
“Cousin Elizabeth, your temper!” Mr Collins looked as though he had never laid eyes upon such an unworthy woman before giving her a condescending smile. “However, fear not that you are destined to remain so unfeminine a creature. Even the worst temper may be reformed through discipline and attention, provided the lady in question has a governable disposition.”
Elizabeth claimed to be feeling unwell and went to her own chamber. No one needed to know about the building pressure and heart palpitations in her chest.Another dreadful day, and my birthday, no less.She could not waste the entire day isolated in this tiresome place. Later that afternoon, after she had recovered, Lydia passed her on the stairs on her way to some other amusement.
“Can you distract Mary for me?” Elizabeth asked in a low voice. “I want to get sheet music from the instrument.”
“She will not let you play, even if young William is awake.”
“I do not want to play.” Elizabeth gave her sister a wink. “I want to borrow some music.”
“You appear bettertoday than on my other visits, Miss Darcy. I suspect you have the sense not to waste your breath praising that performance unless you had breath to spare.”
“I passed a good night. And you do play well, if I may say so. Fitzwilliam said you performed that Schobert sonata at Lucas Lodge last week.”
“Did he? He has a good memory. Where has Mr Darcy gone? He has been away nearly a week.”
“I could not say.”
