He had spoken in a low whisper, but she heard it as clearly as though he had spoken directly into her ear.
Her throat was completely dry, and she nodded.
“When did you realise?”
His voice travelled around the gallery and sounded as though he was right next to her, rather than one hundred feet away. She could not tell if he was angry, or disappointed, or surprised.
She could not whisper the entire explanation, and gave Darcy a pleading look and gestured that he should come nearer. Her heart stopped beating while Darcy hesitated. He then came round the gallery slowly until he stood directly in front of her by the rail. He looked grave and stared at her.
“Did you realise at The Green Park and tear off your flowers?” he asked, pointing to the pansies.
“I suspected before,” she said hoarsely. “You wrote about disliking being assiduously courted. Certainly a man of sense and honour must dislike being pursued for his position and fortune and not for himself. But F’s complaint about a woman admiring his handwriting and offering to mend his pen was so precise to what happened at Netherfield with Miss Bingley that I began to wonder.”
“Fear, or wonder?”
She gave a nervous laugh and felt tears building behind her eyes. “Well, I did not know at that point that I had horribly misjudged you, so there was some distress at the possibility of F being Mr Darcy, the man I thought wronged Mr Wickham and was selfish and arrogant.”
“And so you arranged a private meeting in the park to assure yourself that your correspondent was not me?”
He looked so solemn. It must offend him to know she was disappointed to learn that her new friend washim.
“I did,” she admitted, “and I was still stunned to see you. Even though I thought better of you after what happened at the Hursts’ home, I knew our correspondence and all it meant to mewas over. You wanted to meet L, not me. But after, I thought, why could we not like one another as ourselves?”
She searched his eyes to see if he was open to the idea, but he only stared. Deciding he deserved more of an explanation, she went on. “I realised I was entirely wrong about you. I have never been more wrong about anyone in all my life. I hoped you might forgive my awful assumptions and prejudices because I wanted to know you better.”
“But why?” he pressed. “You made it clear that night at the Hursts’ that you held me in very little regard, even if you were wrong about Wickham. Why did you care aboutmygood opinion?”
“My correspondent F realised he had acted wrongly and wanted to be a better man. I find that commendable. He wanted to act less selfishly, and I realised so must you. You were the same man!” How could she make him understand her feelings for him were sincere? “Everything I admired about F’s intelligence and humour and character and honesty…it was you all along. The person I thought was my dear friend, my anonymous friend, was already known to me. I thought of F—of you—so often this past month. I liked him, and…and so, naturally, I like you. So, so I thought, why not persuade you that you could like me in return?”
Darcy blinked. “Persuade me to like you?”
He repeated the words as though she had not spoken English. “Yes, I realised what a task was before me. You had admired L, and never looked at me but to find a blemish.” She could not bear to look at him and addressed his shoes instead. “All the things that you said to Bingley to keep him from Jane must also be true in your own case. You withstood my beauty from the moment of our acquaintance. But I thought if you had been attracted to L enough to meet her, you might be capable of preferring me.”
“Capable of preferring you?”
Was he going to repeat everything she said? If he was so stunned by the thought of preferring her, she had no chance with Darcy after all. His kiss must have been an impulsive mistake, brought on only by hearing of her preference for him. “Yes, forgive me, but I felt that if you admired L, then I could convince you to prefer me over L or any other woman.”
“I prefer you to every soul breathing.”
She tossed up her head to stare at him in shock. He had whispered it. Because he was in front of her, the effect of the gallery was lost, but she still heard him clearly, although she could not believe it.
“How is that possible? You never considered me in that way until the lecture when I threw all propriety aside and told you I care for you.”
Darcy set down his hat and joined her on the stone bench. He smiled for the first time since entering the gallery, but Elizabeth was too dumbstricken to smile back.
“Do you believe I did not admire you until this week?” he asked, taking her hand in his. “Until the night of the lecture? That is extraordinary,” he murmured.
She had to swallow twice to find her voice. Her heart beat fast and she was trembling. “You cared for mebeforethis week?”
“I never thought that L might stand for Lizzy, but the reason I wanted to meet her was because L reminded me of you. L was someone I thought I could fall in love with, but I was already in love withyou.”
She was struck with amazement. “In love with me?”
Darcy laughed. “Yes, in love with you.”
Those were words she would never tire of hearing, but how could he not be angry with her? “Even if that is true, what about now?” Her voice shook. “When I kept the truth from you for a week? When I just left you in The Green Park? Iknew the truth and just left you there and never told you I was L.” She remembered how disappointed he had looked. “You want someone who will always tell you the truth; you deserve someone who will be honest with you.”
“Then I hope you do not make a habit of keeping things from me.”
