“Darcy subscribed to the matchmaking service and had no ill will toward L for putting herself forward.”
“All I am saying is that it might be unbecoming in person,” Jane said gently.
Although there was no reason for a young woman to be ashamed of an honest attachment to a deserving man, a woman’s delicate nature was allegedly supposed to make her ashamed of it. A woman of true delicacy should not even acknowledge to herself that she loved a man until he confessed his feelings first. It was all so foolish to pretend that women had no feelings, no passions at all.
That was what made the matchmaking subscription thrilling. She could show her interest, state that she wanted to marry and announce what sort of partner she was looking for.
Why could she not apply a little of that agency in person?
“I am pursuing what I want,” she said firmly. “And I would not go tomorrow if I did not think that I have a chance with him.”
Jane nodded and left, wishing her luck in a tone that said she did not agree with her decision.
How would Darcy feel to be coerced into spending an evening in her company? Would he ever consider her as his wife, as a woman he could love and spend his life with? He did look at her a great deal, and she could now remember a certain smile that heoften wore when he did. He considered L knowing how little her fortune was, so that should be no hindrance.
She had to pursue Darcy, and she had to make him forget L and Mrs Sullivan. And she had to do it without being like all the other women who flattered and deferred to him.
Chapter Thirteen
Darcy was silent the entire ride to the Gardiners’ home on their way to the Surrey Institution lecture. Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mrs Sullivan talked amongst themselves, but it still took Darcy aback that his cousin had said as they got into the carriage, “Clara wants her new friend Miss Elizabeth Bennet to join us.”
And of course Fitzwilliam had agreed with the hopes of him making a match with Elizabeth after all.
He had thought that it would be the newly engaged Bingley who would force him to see Elizabeth, not his cousin and his secret betrothal. He was uncertain why Elizabeth wanted to come, especially since she had known that he would escort her as his guest. Mrs Sullivan might have pressed her, and despite the newness of their acquaintance, Elizabeth might have felt compelled to agree.
It was natural that Mrs Sullivan wanted to befriend Elizabeth. Elizabeth was possessed of every requisite likely to ensure her the love, the esteem, and the admiration of all her acquaintances with any sense to speak of. She also had every requisite to render a man happy, and Darcy had no reason to believe that she would turn her admiring gazes onto him.
In Cheapside, his footman went to the door, and in a moment Elizabeth was sitting across from him. He would have to look into her pretty eyes the rest of the way and know how he had lost her respect with his selfish behaviour and ungentlemanly manner.
She and Fitzwilliam engaged in the usual trivial chat that identified one’s place in the world, and their common acquaintances and experiences. It was so easy for both of them, and even Mrs Sullivan’s forwardness aided her in this sort of exchange.
Elizabeth’s ease and liveliness would answer for all of his wishes. Darcy dropped his gaze from watching her talk with his cousin and friend. Would she ever think that they were perfect for one another the same way that he did?
“Where exactly are we going?” Elizabeth asked, peering out the side glass.
When Fitzwilliam nudged him with his elbow, Darcy answered, “The Institution meets in the Blackfriars Rotunda building in Southwark, on the south bank of the Thames.”
“I think I was there as a child with my aunt and uncle, but it was a museum,” she said. “I remember a lot of birds.”
“It was once the Leverian Museum,” he agreed. “It was filled with oddities from around the world. It closed a few years ago and was remodelled for the Institution.”
“You know a great deal about London’s attractions,” she said brightly. “The panorama, museums, the features at St Paul’s. If I want to visit a public place, I know who to ask for a recommendation.”
“I spend at least one quarter of the year here,” he said with a shrug, not remembering when he had spoken to Elizabeth about St Paul’s.
“And he would rather go look at a curiosity or attend a viewing of some invention than attend a vigorous rout likeany other young single man,” Fitzwilliam said with a laugh. “A lecture is a good outing for a reserved man.”
Darcy felt offended. “And yet here you are at a lecture.”
“I am here to escort a lady with better taste than I have,” he said with a wink.
The conversation ended as they arrived and entered the impressive auditorium. Within moments, a crowd of friends surrounded Fitzwilliam and Mrs Sullivan. Darcy found himself not in the mood for empty small talk after being accused of being taciturn. He would have stayed with their group for the sake of appearances, but Elizabeth asked where they were to sit.
“There are many ladies here,” Elizabeth said, sounding a little relieved when he found their seats in the rotunda. “I was afraid Mrs Sullivan and I would be nearly alone, but there must be a few hundred women.”
Darcy looked around the room and agreed she was about right. “The room holds five hundred, and they all seem to know my cousin,” he added with a smile.
“Your cousin is popular.”
