He had a positive sense of his own self-worth, but he could not help but fear L was hiding something, and wonder why she was reluctant to make him known to her relations. However, hewanted to be more gentlemanly, and a true gentleman avoided whatever may cause a concern in the minds of those he was with.
If L wanted him to wear a sprig of pansies and meet in the park, if he was to be a better friend and gentleman, this is what he would have to do.
Chapter Nine
In the northeast corner of the park, there was a fine body of water, and near to it was the gravel path along the eastern boundary called the Queen’s Walk. Elizabeth had hoped to steer her group in that direction to encounter F, but Miss Bingley was making that difficult.
Although the potential couple tried to talk with one another, Miss Bingley insisted on inserting herself into her brother’s conversation with Jane. She was holding onto his arm while Bingley tried in vain to speak with Jane, who was on his other arm. Elizabeth walked alone next to them.
“Caroline, it looks to be getting narrower; would you like to walk with Miss Elizabeth?” he said as they turned down another path.
“Miss Eliza is content where she is, I am sure. She is a great walker, you know, and I would only slow her down. Besides, I would rather get to know my dear Jane better.”
Elizabeth wished Bingley would have said “So would I” and dropped his sister’s arm, but that would not happen, and now it was three thirty and she was nowhere near to the northeast section of the park.
“Actually, Miss Bingley, I am rather tired and would benefit from my sister’s arm if Mr Bingley can spare her.”
She would rather have dropped farther behind on purpose and gone on alone, but even as enchanted by Jane as Bingley was, he was not about to lose her sister in the park.
Jane agreed, and Elizabeth went in front of Miss Bingley and her brother to walk with Jane. Now she could lead them away from the centre of the park to where she would meet F. Elizabeth brought a hand to the pansies pinned to her bodice, patting it to be certain they were in place. She was all anxiety to have the meeting over and done with, to have her fears about F being Darcy refuted once and for all.
Her stomach was fluttering with nerves at meeting F. Would they feel an instant attraction to one another, or would it come on gradually like it had through their letters?
“You are going a little fast for me,” Jane said. “I thought you were tired.”
Since the moment was at hand, she had to confess. She had wanted to slip away so only some cows would see her walking to that side of the park, but her company was not as inattentive to her as she had hoped.
“Do not react. I arranged to meet F privately rather than through the matchmaking office,” she whispered to Jane. “He is on the other side of the park waiting for me.”
To her credit, only a small “Oh” of surprise escaped Jane’s lips, although her face showed complete shock.
“It will be well, I promise,” Elizabeth murmured. “I told him what I was wearing, and we both wear a posy of pansies. We will smile, say how pleasant it is to meet, exchange names, be embarrassed and awkward for a moment or two, and then I will tell him we should exchange information through all the formal channels, and he will call in Cheapside.”
“What about us?” Jane asked, tilting her head at the pair behind them.
“We won’t talk long, certainly not long enough to introduce you. I won’t even be able to because I do not know his name,” Elizabeth added, laughing a little too loudly. She was nervous, excited, and felt an eagerness to meet F and a sliver of terror that F was Darcy.
This meeting would put to bed her fear, and she would have a good laugh about it.
When they were nearer to the Queen’s Walk, she saw a tall man pacing along some trees while another man leant against the first tree, arms crossed over his chest, talking to the man pacing. A woman in grey stood next to him. Occasionally, the man pacing would stop, crane his neck to look one way, pace again, and then look the other direction. There were trees between them that often hid the man from her view, but his walking would bring him out of and into her sight.
Even from this many yards away, Elizabeth could tell that it was Darcy.
Her stomach sank, and briefly her vision spun. And then she felt crushing disappointment. Her friendship with F was now over, and she admired him so much. How startling that she had been writing to Darcy all along and had somehow grown fond of him. The realisation that followed was equally alarming: if she liked F, then she liked Darcy. If she wanted to flirt with F, then she wanted to flirt with Darcy.
And Darcy hated her.
It would be a humiliating moment when Darcy saw who L was, and he would be horribly disappointed. She would see it in his face the moment he realised what he had done. She was poor, unconnected, and had embarrassing relations. And even if those concerns could be overlooked, she had mistaken his character and accused him of being a terrible person.
“Change bonnets with me!” she cried.
“What? Why?” Jane asked, even as she untied her own hat’s ribbon.
Elizabeth pulled her off the gravel path and gave a false smile to Bingley and Miss Bingley, keeping her back to the northeast corner. “I am afraid I do not like my hat.” She ripped off her blue bonnet. “Jane is good enough to exchange with me.”
“I do not think the way you have styled your hair will fit inside my hat.”
“It does not matter,” she muttered, shoving her hat into Jane’s hands and trying to hide behind her.
