Bingley’s sistersdecided the only way to make a trip to Cheapside tolerable was to look into the shops while they were there, and so Darcy and Bingley left them the Hursts’ carriage and hired a hackney to take them back to his house in Charles Street. Despite residing in the same house, it was the first time they had been together without a sister or a servant in the room since the encounter at the panorama.
“Why did you not tell me that Caroline mentioned seeing Miss Bennet?” Bingley said when they were in the carriage.
Darcy sighed, even though he knew this conversation was unavoidable. “I did not think it warranted a discussion, and I did not want to raise your hopes that Miss Bennet came to London for you.”
Bingley scoffed. “She came to town, called on my sisters, and you still say she does not have any interest in me? Did she seem merely polite at the panorama and today at the Gardiners’?”
From another man, this might have sounded sarcastic, but Bingley was so dependent on others’ judgment that it was a sincere inquiry. Darcy considered what Elizabeth had angrily murmured at him under her breath before they left. She saw their interference, even if Miss Bennet did not. If Elizabeth was not mistaken about her sister’s feelings, then he had been in error.
“If she admires you, then Miss Bennet has a serene countenance that hides her feelings.”
“But do you think she loved me then, after all?”
He shrugged. “I assumed she was indifferent, but it is possible that her serenity hides more ardent feelings.” Elizabeth’s superior knowledge of her sister could not be disregarded, but it was too soon for him to have seen any hint as to Miss Bennet’s true feelings. “If she cared for you, though, she is likely to be cautious now.”
“And my sisters deceived her, and she thought they were her friends.” Bingley sat back with a sigh. “Do I have any reason to hope?”
“If she loved you last autumn, and you left, she may not trust you to remain steadfast. It will require some work on your side to prove that you want to marry her and that your sisters will accept your choice.”
“And what about you?” Bingley asked sharply. “Do you approve of my pursuing Miss Bennet, or will you continue to dissuade me from the union?”
Bingley was anxious—and angry, as he had every right to be. Darcy felt the guilt that had pressed on his heart since he saw Miss Bennet at the panorama. “That you are in this position is partly my fault. I readily engaged in the office of pointing out toyou the evils of such a choice—and those evils are still present.” He paused, thinking about Elizabeth. “But if she loves you and you love her, then there is nothing I could do but congratulate you.”
“All of your remonstrances about her family’s behaviour, their lack of fortune and connexions…I heard them, I truly did,” Bingley said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “But it would not have prevented my asking her to marry me.”
“I am sorry,” Darcy said quietly. “I should have told you she was here. I genuinely thought Miss Bennet did not admire you, but if I was mistaken, then I hope you know that my interference was kindly meant.”
Bingley smiled as the carriage came to a stop. “I forgive you, and I hope I have your support. Caroline and Louisa are not as willing to admit they acted wrongly, and I know they prefer Miss Darcy for me over Miss Bennet, but…” He trailed off, and Darcy suspected what he might have said: that he did not love Georgiana and did love Jane Bennet.
He had shared their hopes for an alliance between his friend and his sister when she was older, but it was plain now that it would never happen. Besides, his sister deserved someone who loved her devotedly, and Bingley admired someone else. Darcy could be a good friend, or he could pursue his own selfish aims. There was only one choice to make.
“You do not need it, but you have my full support.” Darcy held out his hand to his friend and Bingley shook it, smiling and bounding from the carriage with more happiness than when he had first entered it.
A letterfrom L arrived in the seven o’clock post, and Darcy did his best not to run from the room to read it alone. Before he broke the seal, he paused. Elizabeth was now in town, and hecould renew the acquaintance if he desired it. Could she have an interest in him that rivalled what he still felt for her? She resented his involvement in separating her sister and his friend, but if they were reunited, she would eventually forgive him, just as Bingley did.
A marriage of unequal affections would be a trial, especially with such a mother and no connexions or fortune. Her situation in life was decidedly lower than his own, but he could overlook that. If Elizabeth loved him, could he not disregard all the evils of the match just like Bingley had, and ask her to marry him?
But what of his growing interest in L? She was sensible, had a generous nature, and was full of vivacity and good humour. He found himself eager to read every letter and, more surprising, was eager to reply. Not a day went by he did not think of his new friend. He wondered if she was happy in town, wondered what she was doing, wondered if she often thought of him.
What did L look like? Elizabeth was one of the handsomest women of his acquaintance. L had called herself “tolerably pretty,” but that could mean she was aware of her plainness, or that she was handsome but modest. Darcy decided it did not matter. He liked L’s character, her disposition, so of course he would like her person if he ever saw her.
He turned the letter over in his hands. Should he pursue Elizabeth, or should he actually consider L? Her fortune was no better, and he did not know what her connexions were. She seemed a friendly, lively woman, and at the moment, L did not despise him for interfering with her sister’s love affair.
As he broke the seal, Darcy reasoned he need not decide anything now. He was not encouraging either woman, although thoughts of Elizabeth felt more present in his heart than thoughts of L. For now, he would write to L and see how that progressed, and do what he could do to learn if Elizabeth would forgive his interference.
Thursday, February 6, 2 o’clock
My dear friend,
I can forgive you for preferring Gunter’s over Kelsey’s only for the convenience of being able to walk to it. Were it any other reason, I would be quite cross with you for disagreeing with my excellent taste.
The Scottish Chiefsmight take me the rest of my visit to finish. I am now beginning the second volume. I will borrowLady of the Lakefrom the circulating library when I return home. My father rarely shares his library. He says that though he is prepared to meet with folly and conceit in every other room in the house, he wants to be free from them in his own room. While he would not begrudge me a book, he does not welcome interruptions. Have you a fine library wherever it is you live when you are not a young man about town during the season? What are your thoughts on female company in a book room?
As for music, I have common enough talents to entertain friends, but am not proficient enough to put on a concert before any company accustomed to a superior performance. I play and sing, and I practise enough so I am not laughed off any stage. I do enjoy it, of course, and it is not something I would want to give up, but I have no great claim to talent. I am well aware of my skill and choose pieces that will display me at an advantage. This brings to mind another question, and were I a different sort of woman, your answer could put an end to our correspondence. However, I am only asking out of curiosity and promise not to make any judgments about you regardless of your answer: do you dance?
Before I close, you asked about my sister, and also asked if I was cheerfully occupied while in London. We are still very little in the world, due to our situation but also because of my dear sister’s spirits. Perhaps you think I am resentful of staying athome by her side rather than be busy with public places and friends? She is my comfort, and I would do anything for her happiness. If she wants to sit at home with our cousins, I will sit by her side. If she wishes to walk past the shops, for she is not one for purchases for the sake of having something new, I will go with her. We live quietly in town anyway, but I would gladly forsake parties, dinners, balls, and attractions if it was better for my sister’s peace of mind. She is a little confused and disappointed still. She has recently encountered the young man in question, and is uncertain how he feels, or even how she feels, I suspect.
You have a sister you care deeply for, so I hope you can comprehend my feelings. I would do anything for her because so much of my own happiness depends on hers.
