Elizabeth started at being addressed so pleasantly. “My sister is staying with my mother’s relations—nearCheapside.” Mr Darcy looked embarrassed, and she instantly regretted emphasising the direction. She had no reason to antagonise him further.
“May I deliver your letters to your sister?” he asked, smiling. “I return to London tomorrow and am at liberty the next day to call on her on your behalf.”
Charlotte clattered her teacup against its saucer; Elizabeth stared in silence. Why would he call on her family after insulting her inferior connexions when he offered her his hand?
“I did not take proper leave of your family when I departed Hertfordshire,” he continued, “and I would like the opportunity to be of service to them.”
Elizabeth felt agitated beyond expression. He would call specifically on Jane after he had admitted she was not a suitable wife for Mr Bingley? “I am afraid my letters are unfinished.”
“I would be happy to retrieve them in the morning. I have no plans in town tomorrow, so it is of little consequence if we need to wait for you to complete them. Indeed, I am quite at my leisure until Tuesday when Bingley returns.”
He gave her a pointed look that she understood at once: he regretted his interference and would tell Mr Bingley that he called at Gracechurch Street to deliver her letter to Jane. Then Mr Bingley would know Jane was in town, and perhaps they would be reunited. “Thank you. That is kind of you.”
“I am glad to help.”
There was an unfamiliar nervousness in his manner. He normally commanded presence and confidence. Could Mr Darcy still hope for her good opinion? For a moment, she wondered whether it was in her power to make him happy. Even from the beginning of their acquaintance, something about him had made her intensely aware of him.
All conversation ended when Mr Collins rushed in, professing his lengthy apologies at having been kept so long by his illustrious patroness to have nearly missed the gentlemen’s call. With a shared glance, the cousins decided to depart, and they were gone before Elizabeth had the chance to speak again about Mr Bingley.
* * *
Elizabeth sawMr Darcy pacing by the gate the following morning, and he appeared to be deep in reflection. He raised his head when he heard her approach. His dark eyes looked troubled, the set of his shoulders was tense, and it was plain that he had slept poorly, if at all, during the last two nights.
Elizabeth almost regretted walking out to find him to give him her letters to avoid having another awkward drawing room encounter.
“Do you have your letters with you?” he asked.
“Yes, I brought them.” Elizabeth handed them to him, and the silence stretched.
Their awkward silence persisted until he asked in a rush, “Did reading my letter make you think better of me?”
His question seemed impulsive and not conducive to a hasty parting. If they were to talk about it all, it would be easier to walk. They could at least avoid looking into each other’s eyes when they strolled side by side.
“I was astonished—no, horrified—by your account. I behaved despicably, and I am ashamed of myself.”
“I know not of what he particularly accused me, but Mr Wickham has acted with a total want of principle for his entire life. You are neither the first—nor the last, I fear—to be taken in. I am only sorry for the tender sentiments he created.”
Did he think she was in love with Wickham? “Mr Wickham has not touched my heart,” she whispered.
Mr Darcy nodded but was silent. Much might have been said, but she hardly knew what. Did he know how much he had hurt Jane, and his friend, as well? Even though he seemed ready to atone, she felt so angry at his interference. Not only that, he had dismissed her as scarcely tolerable the moment he first laid eyes on her, ruined her entire opinion of him, and then imagined himself so much in love with her that he asked her to marry him. She felt such a torrid mix of dismay, confusion, embarrassment, and fury just walking alongside him.
Before he could ask another question and discompose her, she said, “I was surprised you offered to visit my relations. Mr Bingley, I hope, will have no trouble calling on Jane in such a part of London after you tell him she is there. Jane’s love for Mr Bingley is as strong as it was in November, and I am sure Mr Bingley’s feelings are the same. They would have been wed by now but for your interference. Theirs is a love you should emulate whenever youreallyfall in love, as I suspect resentment and embarrassment have driven away the brief regard for me that, for so long, you did not wish to acknowledge.”
It took her a moment to notice Mr Darcy had stopped walking. He stared at her, mouth slightly open and with no small amount of anger in his eyes. He swiftly crossed the distance between them and stood closer to her than propriety would allow.
“The serenity of your sister’s countenance in her every interaction with my friend led me to believe that her heart was not touched!” he cried. “And how can you argue that Bingley would certainly have married your sister? He was persuaded to leave because he relied more uponmyjudgment than his own. Did he once call at Longbourn to see your sister? Is that the behaviour of a man ready to offer his hand?
“Their affection was out of the growth of a few weeks in which they were in mixed company. You and I spent those weeks in similar activities with the addition of several rousing debates while we resided in the same house. Yet you distrust thatIformed an enduring attachment even though we also spent weeks together here? We walked through the park nearly every morning together! Bingley is often in and out of love, whereas I—”
Mr Darcy broke off, likely noticing her slackened jaw.
In one moment, she had the precious certainty of being loved, and in the next, the realisation that it must now be lost to her forever. For all his faults and the style of his address, he had a subtle fire of passion that pushed beyond his natural reserve. While she was realising the depth of his attachment for the first time, he shuttered his outraged expression and resumed his usual serious countenance.
“I will deliver your correspondence, madam. I hope your mother’s relations can survive the call without saying anything ridiculous. I offer my best wishes for your health.” He turned to leave.
His comment infuriated her. “Yes, turn away again from those of us who are not worth your notice!”
Mr Darcy quickly rounded on her. “I know not what else to do in the company of your family. Turning away in silence is the way a true gentleman should react to someone who is impertinent or ridiculous!”
