I look over at Julia. As she opens her mouth to speak, I raise an eyebrow at her, calling her out for interrupting. She gives me another puzzled look before clamping her mouth shut and looking back at our daughter.
“I don’t want to do that because then he wins. If I go and hide away like a scared little mouse, then he thinks he broke me. And he didn’t. I’m not broken. I’m pissed as hell, but I’m not broken. I won’t let him do that to me. School starts in a few weeks, and I will be there, attending my first class despite him. Because fuck him! Us Hawks don’t go down without a fight. Right, Dad?” She’s determined and passionate about it, I can hear it in her voice.
Well, holy shit! My daughter is one hell of a badass. I came in here thinking she’d be scared and intimidated. I see the opposite, and I can barely contain my pride. I’m not naive enough to believe that she isn’t going to have issues with this situation, and she should see a therapist, but seeing her fighting spirit eases my heart a little.
Agreeing to see a therapist was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, and I hope it will be helpful for her as well. Lexi is correct in her opinion on taking a semester off and going home. It isn’t the best plan, but I also don’t want her living in that condo without some protection. Okay, a lot of protection.
I glance at Julia and notice she’s looking thoughtful, not angry. I know their emotions got the best of them this morning, but I want us to be able to resolve this without a blow-up. I give her an encouraging smile.
She takes a deep breath, and I can see her trying to let go of the tension in her shoulders.
“Look, Lex, I get that you don’t want him to get the better of you, but the thought of you going back to that condo alone is just too much for me. You’re gonna give me a heart attack if I know that you’re there alone. What if he comes back? What if he does something worse this time? We all know that guys like him get away with this kind of thing all the time. He’s rich and entitled. He’s got the money and the influence to make this a slap on the wrist. I’ll be shocked if he’s not already out. It’s total bullshit, but that’s just how the world works.”
I can hear the fear in her shaky voice, and her eyes well up with tears as she’s overcome with emotion. She’s not wrong either, but the fighter in me doesn’t want the status quo to win in this case.
“I don’t want your life to be like that, and I won’t be here to protect you. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you, honey. I don’t know what I’d do. I’m your mom. It’s my job to protect you!” She chokes back a sob and then buries her face in her hands, tears streaming down her face.
I rub a hand down her arm in empathy before I turn to Lexi. I hope that what I say next will bridge the gap. I want Lexi to have the best possible support system. I understand why her mom feels that way, and to a certain extent, I agree. But I also appreciate Lexi’s need to fight back. That ‘never surrender’ drive that keeps you going even when you don’t think you can continue, but you do it anyway. I get it because that’s me too. In that sense, she’s very much my daughter.
“Maybe we can work out a compromise you’re both happy with,” I begin carefully. “What if Lexi stays with me for the next few weeks until school starts?”
I pause, and they both start to jump in, but I hold up my hand.
“Let me finish, please.”
They stop interrupting and look at me like they are waiting for me to be done before they pounce all over my idea. I keep my voice calm and confident as I continue.
“In the meantime, I’ll install a fully monitored security system in the condo. We can also discuss other measures, such as learning self-defense and maybe getting a dog. There are a lot of steps that we can take to ensure her safety without her having to give up school. I can talk to my bosses’ security company and see if they have some ideas.” I mentally hold my breath and cross my fingers.
Lexi looks happier about my idea than her mother. Julia’s scared, and that emotion is running the show at this point.
I say gently, softening my face with empathy, “Julia, I know this is scary. It’s scary for me, too. But as much as we’d like, hiding isn’t the best answer. I know that you know that. Hell, if I’m honest, I want to go back and beat the crap out of that piece of shit all over again. And he would deserve it, but Lexi shouldn’t have to give up her life because he’s an asshole. Maybe we can make some modifications that all of us can live with.”
I catch Julia’s eye, practically begging her to agree. She stands up and begins to pace the floor in agitation. She needs time to process this and deal with all her feelings. She’s an emotional woman, but I’ve learned a few things since our divorce, so I don’t react in my typical defensive manner. I know now that giving her time to think and work through her feelings will be more helpful than turning this into an argument.
Julia gives me one more look of surprise, then excuses herself to grab some more coffee. I don’t mention that a full cup is still sitting on the tray because it’s clear she needs some alone time.
Lexi’s eyes are brighter, and there’s the beginnings of a smile on her lips. It looks like I’ve hit upon an idea she can support. She needs to be safe, so having her at my place, where the security staff work the front desk 24/7, will give her that extra layer of protection. My next call will be to Jacob so that I can ask about his security firm. I’ll ensure she’s safe even if I have to hire a bodyguard for her. Yeah, I know that won’t go over well, so I’ll keep that option to myself for now.
“Thanks for having my back, Dad.”
“Always, baby girl. Always.”
Lexi and I chat about inconsequential things. Things are so emotionally heavy right now, and I can tell she needs the break. So, I tell her funny stories about pranks gone wrong during my hockey career, and she talks about her job as a barista at the campus coffee shop. We’re chuckling about some bizarre coffee order when her mom clears her throat by the door. I smile encouragingly at Lexi before turning to her mom.
Julia’s bemused smile is unexpected. Even though her eyes glisten with unshed tears, she’s smiling, and that’s a start. I give her a supportive smile.
“What do you think, Mom? Good plan?” Lexi asks tentatively.
Her mom sighs, then comes over to hold her free hand.
“Look, honey, I’m sorry if I was trying to manage the situation for you. It’s a scary thing for a parent when you feel like you can’t protect your child from getting hurt, regardless of age.”
“I know, Mom.” Her eyes tear up. God, my little girl is such a champ.
“In my heart, I know I have to let you direct your own life, but I love you so much. I was so scared for you, and I still am, to be honest. I get thatit’s my issue, and I’m working on that, but it’s not easy. My first instinct is to protect you—whatever it takes, but I know you need to do this for you.”
Seeing them both cry doesn’t help my protective instincts, but I know this is healing for them. I keep rubbing my daughter’s hand and letting her know I’m here for her.
