Instead, we curl up on the couch like we’ve done a hundred times before.
She’s tucked into my side, legs thrown over mine, her cheek resting against my chest. My fingers drift lazily up and down her back, memorizing the shape of her like I’m afraid distance might steal it again.
“I’ve never missed someone like this,” I admit quietly.
The words feel heavy. Honest. Exposed.
She shifts slightly, tilting her head to look at me. Her eyes are soft, searching.
“I know that feeling,” she says.
There’s something deeper in her tone than simple agreement.
I lean down and kiss her lips gently, slow and unhurried. She sighs into my mouth, and before I know it, I’m pulling her to straddle me, her knees settling on either side of my hips.
Her hands rest on my shoulders, and for a moment we just look at each other.
“The very first time I came to your place,” I say, brushing a strand of hair from her face, “I told you I was as good at locking things up as you were.”
She smiles faintly. “I replied with I have no idea how right you are.”
“I remember,” I say. “I remember everything when it comes to you.”
Her grin softens into something almost shy. She leans down and kisses my cheek.
“I can’t believe you’d remember something so small.”
“It wasn’t small,” I murmur. “Nothing about you is.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me closer.
“You should let people see this side of you more often,” she whispers.
I tilt my head slightly. “Don’t deflect, Doc. What did you mean by that?”
Her body goes still for just a second.
Then she exhales.
“It was high school,” she begins, her voice quiet but steady. “I was sixteen. I thought I was older than I was. Smarter than I was.”
My hands tighten instinctively at her waist.
“It was a junior varsity baseball player,” she continues. “He’d been flirting with me for weeks. I liked the attention. Liked feeling wanted.”
She swallows.
“We were on the field one night. I thought we were just going to talk. But he wanted more. And when I said no…” Her jaw tightens. “He didn’t listen right away.”
My blood turns to ice. I want to kill someone I’ve never met.
“Kamden heard me screaming,” she says. “He was nearby. Practicing late. He ran out there and pulled him off me.”
I feel something primal rise in my chest, anger, protective and fierce.
“Nothing happened,” she says quickly, like she knows exactly where my mind went. “But I was scared. And it changed something in me. It made me realize how quickly excitement can turn into fear.”
Her fingers press lightly into my shoulders.
