“You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“And he has never asked me for anything. Not for the dowry, not for favors, not even for affection.”
“This is true.”
“But... he has debts. He could be ruined. And he didn’t tell me.”
Jane softened. “You speak as though he owes you all of himself already.”
Kitty rubbed her hands over her face. “I don’t know what I want. I thought I did, before. I thought I wanted to escape this marriage, to be free, to act. And now I am here, with him, and it’s all... it’s all different.”
Jane moved to sit beside her. “People change when they are loved.”
“I do not love him,” Kitty said quickly. Too quickly.
Jane didn’t comment.
Kitty swallowed. “But if my father knew...”
“Would he ruin Norman, or simply drag you away from him?”
The question was a blade. Kitty closed her eyes. “He would take me. And then ruin his reputation.”
Jane’s voice was gentle. “Then perhaps the question is not what your father would do, but what you must do.”
Kitty’s looked up. “Do I protect Norman… or do I protect my own wishes?”
Jane looked at her gently. “I think, ever since you met him, your wishes have changed.”
Kitty’s throat tightened.
“Perhaps,” Jane continued, “protecting him is part of protecting yourself now.”
For a long time, Kitty didn’t move. She just sat, letting the silence settle around them like snow.
Finally, she rose.
“Then I must speak to him.”
Jane nodded. “That would be wise.”
Kitty walked to the door, her hand on the knob. She didn’t open it yet.
“Jane?”
“Yes?”
“If I tell him I overheard everything... he might hate me.”
“Or he might not.”
Kitty turned the handle slowly. “I don’t know what will happen.”
Jane smiled softly. “Then, for once, let that unfold on its own.”
And with that, Kitty stepped into the corridor, heart pounding anew.
Twenty-Two
