There was something about her. Something strange. Something wild and untamed, and it clawed at him, getting deeper each time.
He could not decide if it was attraction, simply the thrill of a challenge or if it was something deeper.
But then he remembered the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips, the sound of her breath?—
Damn it.
He turned away from the desk, fists clenched at his sides.
He had no business thinking of her that way, not when she so clearly despised him. Not when she was only tolerating the engagement out of obligation. And yet?—
And yet he’d seen something in her last night. Not hatred. Not loathing. Not even fear.
Need.
He did not know what to make of that.
He hadn’t seen her since last night, despite her occupying his thoughts the entire time.
He wasn’t certain of what he should say to her when he saw her again.
But he needed to see her.
He wanted to see that look in her eyes again. Wanted to know if it had all been a moment of madness, or if she had felt it too—the strange pull between them.
He sat again, more heavily this time.
For all his stern speeches and cold control, he was unraveling. And worse—he was starting tolikeit.
Was this what longing felt like? This aching absence?
He had no time for this. No patience for feelings that complicated things further.
He had a sister to protect. A future to rebuild.
Brown’s defeat might have been imminent, but he was not yet gone. The engagement party was creeping closer. The wedding—God, the wedding—would follow. He could not afford to lose himself to fantasy.
And yet his thoughts returned to her, over and over. Not as a ghost or a dream, but as a flame still burning under his skin.
He told himself it was merely desire, a fleeting, physical madness. He told himself many things.
But the hollow ache in his chest said otherwise.
He rose at last, adjusting his cuffs with stiff precision, trying to gather what remained of his composure.
He needed to leave the house.
He needed to think.
Fourteen
“Where is it?”
Kitty tore open another drawer, the brass handle clanging against the wood, sending a tremor up her wrist. Stockings, ribbons, a discarded sachet of lavender—none of it what she needed.
Kitty exhaled sharply through her nose and shoved it shut, the drawer slamming so hard the whole dressing table shuddered.
It had to be here.
