“Heart. Warmth. Love. Home—”
“Pussy,” Zane leaned down to breathe in my ear. “With a grip like—”
“Zoodle!” I hissed and pushed him away. “Behave!”
“Why?” He gave me a smirk that was more of a leer. “I’m much more fun when I don’t, as you very well know. Or do you want a reminder right here and now?”
As more heat flooded my face, Casimir cleared his throat, and just like that, my stomach dropped. The look on his and Koa’s faces made my heart stutter with anxiety.
“Seri,” Koa began, “there’s something we need to discuss with you.”
“You look so serious.” My throat went dry.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Casimir said, but his furrowed brow disagreed.
“Are you…” I twisted my hands in my lap. “Are you unhappy with me?”
“What?No!” Zane looked genuinely shocked as he parked his backside on the corner of my desk.
But I barely heard him over the blood rushing in my ears. The room around me blurred at the edges as my lungs strained, and suddenly I wasn’t in the library anymore. I was back on the driveway, the day I’d first arrived at Evermere.
“Poor little thing. You’ve been sucked drier than a desert.”
“You’re nothing but trash, worthless! Trash on his doorstep! Do you really think your husband will even keep you after seeing you like this? He’ll send you back by dawn!”
I felt a cold nose pressing against my hand and a worried whine.
Brummy?
My sweet, loyal Brumous, trying to shield me, just like that terrible day.
I blinked, my chest still heaving, my body feeling like it had been wrung out and left to dry. The library ceiling slowly came into focus above me, and I found I was lying on the couch, not seated at the desk where I’d been doodling. Three worried faces hovered over me, and my fingers were tangled tightly in Brumous’ soft fur as he sat vigilantly near my head.
“You’re safe.” Koa’s eyes never left mine. “It’s okay to be afraid, but you’re safe here. Focus on your breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
I tried to follow his instructions, but it felt like someone had wrapped iron bands around my ribs. The room seemed too bright, too loud, even though it was perfectly quiet except for Koa’s gentle voice.
“That’s good,” he encouraged. “Just like that. You’re doing so well.”
“What happened?” My voice sounded small and distant even to my own ears.
Casimir reached out and ran his fingertips down my cheek, his touch feather-light.
“You had a panic attack. It’s when your body reacts to fear as if you’re in physical danger, even though you’re safe.”
My stepmother had always said I was just being dramatic when I couldn’t breathe after one of their “lessons.” My cheeks burned with shame, and I looked down, focusing on the way my fingers twined in Brumous’ fur.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t!” Zane cut in, an unusual snap in his voice. “There’snothingyou need to apologize for. Not a single thing. Got it?”
I nodded, but felt small, fragile, like a bird with broken wings. The weight of their gazes pressed down on me, and I wanted to disappear. I’d ruined whatever they’d wanted to talk about by having some sort of fit. How embarrassing.
Koa helped me up, keeping his arm around my shoulders as he sat beside me.
“Can you tell us what triggered it? What were you thinking about before it happened?”
I looked down at my hands, my fingers picking at the hem of my shirt.
